Winning Her Back
by fanficsoa
Summary: Tara saves herself from Hector, and when Jax returns from Belfast with Able she is unwilling to sweep everything under the rug and give him a pass for his betrayal of her. Jax does everything in his power to regain her trust, but there are plenty of others who continue to try to come between them. Porn stars, madams, and a new doctor at St. Thomas all stand in Jax's way.
1. Chapter 1

This story follows some of the show right up to Tara's abduction, but then things take a turn. I own nothing, but this is the way I had wanted the story to go. Tara got a raw deal on the show. She basically became Jax's doormat and let him destroy her piece by piece. I couldn't stand it. So in this story Tara doesn't wait until the very end to try and save herself and her boys.

Chapter 1

Tara knew she didn't have long. Maria would be breaking down the door any second and she knew she needed to be ready for her. She tried not to think about what she was going to do with the jagged piece of glass in her hand, and instead focused on what she would need to do in order to get herself and Margaret out of the fucked up situation they'd found themselves in. _After_. After she and Margaret were safe, after she found out if her unborn child was still alive and well inside her, then she would think about everything that had gone wrong in her life in the last few weeks. For now she needed to focus.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

"What the fuck are you doing in there, bitch!"

Tara readied herself as she remained quiet. Her only hope was to catch the other woman by surprise. And she would have to do it quickly and quietly. Hector was supposed to return any moment and if he heard a fight and came up here before she was ready for him Tara knew she didn't stand a chance. With that in mind she clutched the shard of glass and did her best to prepare herself for what she was about to do.

As expected Maria pounded on the door a few more times before kicking it in. Tara waited for just the right moment before reaching through the shower curtain and making a precise and fatal slice to the other woman's throat, severing her artery and sending a spray of blood arching through the air.

Tara did her best to numb herself to the feel of the hot liquid splashing across her face and chest and instead dove forward to shove the other woman against the wall when she weakly attempted to raise the gun and fire. She didn't get the chance. Tara snatched it from her hand at the same time she slammed her fist into the smaller woman's stomach.

With a forced detachment Tara stepped back and watched Maria's body slump to the floor as blood bubbled and gurgled out of the large gash in her throat while the young Hispanic woman stared up at her with panic in her eyes while futilely trying to staunch the flow from her neck with her hands.

"I'm sorry, but it was us or you," Tara whispered while trying to stay composed. She wasn't done yet. There was still Hector to see to.

Hearing the sound of his car out front and knowing he was only moments away from coming up to the attic Tara turned away from the rapidly fading Maria and ran to Margaret who was starring at her with a horrified expression. Wasting no time, Tara knelt next to her boss and said, "We don't have much time, and the way I see it only one option."

"What are you going to do?" Margaret was scared. More scared than she had ever been in her life, but seeing Tara now. Seeing the steel in her eyes while her pale skin dripped with the blood of the woman she had just murdered, she suddenly realized she was actually going to make it out of this alive. Tara would get her out of this.

"I'm going to kill him. I don't have a choice. Just sit here and stay quiet. I'm going to stand on the side of the door. He won't see me behind it when he opens it. That way when he opens it and comes in I'll be able blow the back of his head off and then we're out of here."

"Tara, you can't—"

"Yes I can. I'm not dying here, and I'm not risking trying to tie him up."

Realizing that Tara was right Margaret nodded her head and said, "Do it. I don't want to die."

"We're not going to."

Tara moved swiftly to stand against the wall by the door. She was positioned so that when Hector opened it she would be behind it. As soon as he stepped into the room and was in her line of fire she would take her shot. Both women waited with baited breathe as they heard their sole surviving captor shout out, "Maria! Donde esta?"

Soon enough they heard his feet on the stairs as he made his way up to the attic, still calling out for Maria. Tara cocked the fallen woman's gun, checked once again to make sure the safety was off, and prepared herself to take yet another life. As the door swung open and Hector stepped into the room she didn't pause to think. She simply stepped out from behind the door and raised the gun.

BOOM!

Tara watched as more blood sprayed through the air and Hector's body dropped straight to the ground, the better half of the front of his face blown off from the close range bullet to the back of the head. She stood over him for a second before leaning down to check and see if he was by some miracle still alive.

He wasn't.

Standing she made her way to Margaret's side and began untying her as she whispered, "Let's get the hell out of here."

A few minutes later the women had made their way downstairs and rummaged around until they found Hector's phone and called 911. The next few hours were a blur of lights, sirens, and endless questions from men and women in uniform as the police and rescue workers came for them. Tara answered all the questions honestly, as in this instance she had nothing to hide, and soon enough she and Margaret were on their way to St. Thomas.

As Margaret held her hand in the ambulance on the way Tara set her free hand atop her stomach and muttered, "The only good to come of this is my realizing how much I want this baby."

Margaret starred hard at the young woman that had just saved her life, the young woman she was coming to respect more and more by the day, and yet realize she didn't know at all, and asked, "Are you sure? If you have this baby you'll never be free of the Sons."

Smiling sadly, Tara said, "I know, but this is my baby, and I'm going to protect him or her. They're the only family I have."

"And Jax?" Margaret didn't know the particulars, but she knew the outlaw biker must have done something horrible to have a woman like Tara considering aborting her own child.

Tara's eyes hardened as she said, "He's not my family."

…

…

…

As soon as the plane landed and it was safe to do so Jax was rushing down the ramp with Abel in his arms. He could see the van parked nearby with Tig standing by the open side door. Wasting no time he hurried to his brother's side and demanded, "Any news? Have they found Tara?"

Jax should have spent the flight back from Ireland ecstatic that he finally had his son safe and sound in his arms, but instead he'd been tortured with horrible visions of all the things that Hector could be doing to Tara. After Tig had alerted him to Tara's abduction in Belfast the only thought in Jax's mind had been finding her. Making things right with her. Doing his damndest to make up for the hurt and betrayal he'd caused her. The memory of her hurt and devastated expression that morning in the club house had plagued him the entire flight home, and he swore to himself that he'd do whatever he had to in order to earn Tara's forgiveness. He couldn't lose her. Not now.

Jax knew he'd been twisted up in Belfast. Spun all around to where he actually thought it was the right thing to do to leave Abel with strangers. To give up his son. But as soon as his mother had told him Tara was pregnant he'd snapped out of his self hate and realized he wasn't supposed to give up his family. He was supposed to fight for them! And fight he would!

Now, facing his brother Jax could only pray the other man had good news for him, because he knew he wouldn't survive if something had truly happened to the only girl he'd ever loved. Sensing the rest of his family move to his side as they all faced Tig waiting to see what he had to say, Jax growled, "Fuck Tig! Tell me you guys have a lead on where she is!"

Tig surprised them all when he announced, "Doc's safe and sound, Jax. Your old lady got the drop on Salazar and his bitch. Took them both out. She's at St. Thomas right now getting checked out and grilled by the feds. They're trying to pin something on her, but Unser said it won't stick. Everyone knows she was kidnapped. He said they're just trying to pressure her into giving something up on the club. Won't happen. Unser said after the feds get done posturing they'll write it up as justifiable homicide. She's safe brother."

Jax could only stand there in shock, his mouth opening and closing several times before a whoosh of air left him and he clutched Able closer whispering, "Oh thank God!"

Gemma smiled and moved to hug her son as she said, "I told you she would be ok. Now let's go get your old lady and go home."

"No can do, Gem," Clay announced, "you know you're still wanted. We'll take Jax to the hospital so we can check on Tara, but you're going into hiding. Now."

"Clay, you can't expect me to—"

"I can and do," Clay insisted, for once refusing to let his wife argue with him until she got her way. "Feds get a hold of you before we get a plan, before we settle things with the Irish, and it could go very bad. You're laying low until we figure out what to do. Tig can drop us off at the hospital and then take you up to the cabin. You'll be safe there."

Refusing to give up entirely, Gemma said, "I'll go to the house."

"Gem, it's not—"

Ignoring her husband Gemma took Able from Jax and climbed into the van, refusing to listen to her husband anymore. Especially when he was trying to tell her to leave her family. Even if it is temporarily.

Glaring after his wife, Clay turned to Jax and said, "Talk some sense into her."

Shrugging Jax said, "No can do, Clay. I already got one fight with an old lady to look forward to. Not about to add another one."

Clay cursed and got into the van, wondering why his wife couldn't make things simply just one goddamned time! Soon enough they were on their way to the hospital. When Gemma suggested that she keep Able with her so Jax could have some time alone with Tara he had been reluctant to agree, but he knew that he and Tara needed to hash some shit out. Mainly shit he'd done wrong, so he reluctantly conceded. Though he did make it clear he and Tara would be by later for him. They decided to drop Gemma and Able off first, with Tig remaining with them until Rat Boy and Phil could show, and then the rest of the Sons headed to the hospital. On the way there Jax tried to think of what he'd say to Tara when he saw her. Tried to think of how he'd make things right with her again after he'd betrayed her the way he had, but he couldn't think of anything.

After all, how did you apologize to the woman you loved for cheating on her with a whore she hated and abandoning her to be taken hostage by a rival? That kind of shit didn't just go away because you apologized. Taking a drag on his cigarette he looked at Opie sitting next to him and asked, "Any suggestions?"

"Don't let her get her hands on anything sharp?"

When Jax simply glared at him Opie gave it to him straight, "You fucked up bad, bro. Real bad. Girls like Tara? They don't take shit from any man. No matter how much they might love him. She's proven she can walk away from you once before, and you've given her all the reasons in the world to do so now."

"This isn't helping, Op."

Shrugging, Opie replied, "I'm not trying to help. I'm telling you the truth. You hurt Tara in the worst possible way when she needed you most, when you both needed each other, and just because you're really fucking sorry doesn't mean she's going to let it go. Honestly, I don't know how you're going to make this right, brother."

"How do I fix this, Opie? This can't be the end. I just got her back."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have thrown her away."

When Jax glared at him, Opie gave it to him straight. "Jax, Tara loves Able just as much as you do. Everyone knows she loves him like her own son, and not only did you tell her she wasn't your family but you fucking abandoned her. And to make matters worse you abandoned her by fucking that slut Ima. If your roles were reversed how would you feel?"

Jax felt his heart lurch at the brutal truth of his friend's words. He had done everything he could to destroy Tara over the last few weeks. Destroy and abandon her. He could only imagine how she must have felt when he'd screamed they weren't family in that basement. When she was hurting from the loss of Able just as much as he was and all the while carrying his second child in her. Keeping it a secret so he could focus on finding Able. Tara had done so much for him and his son since she'd been back and he repaid her by kicking her to the curb and cheating on her.

His voice was hoarse and filled with pain as he whispered, "I have to fix this. I have to, Ope. I can't lose her again."

Since he had no clue how to help his brother Opie chose to remain silent. In truth he wasn't sure Jax could fix this. Opie knew that Tara wouldn't leave Charming now. She wouldn't leave Able, who everyone knew she loved like her own son, and she wouldn't want to deprive the baby inside her the opportunity to know it's father, but that didn't mean she would stay with Jax. Opie knew Tara just as well as he knew Jax. In fact he'd been friends with her growing up before Jax had. They'd lived a few houses down from each other after all, and Tara had spent many a night when she was younger sleeping in the bunk bed above his after her mom died and her dad was on another of his benders. He knew how closely she guarded herself, and he knew that once someone hurt her, like really and truly hurt her, she never trusted them again. She never let them near her again. And there was no disputing the fact that Jax had hurt her. And worse, he'd done it in front of everyone. Shit like that didn't go away. Not for a woman like Tara.

The rest of the ride was made in silence and Jax all but sprinted through the hospital once they arrived. Coming to the reception desk he demanded, "I need to see Tara Knowles."

While the receptionist, Cindy, recognized Jax, she still asked for his name. Mainly to buy time. Both Dr. Knowles and the head administrator Margaret Murphy had made it clear none of the Sons were permitted into her room. In fact her room was currently being guarded by the hospital security staff Margaret had hired just last night for this occasion.

"I'm Jax Teller. Dr. Knowles is my old lady. I heard she was brought in. I need to see her."

Jax didn't want to waste any time. He needed to get to Tara and see how she was. He needed to make sure the little life they had created inside her was ok. And if it wasn't? He'd go on a bloody rampage that would shock even Tig and Happy.

Picking up the phone Cindy rang Margaret Murphy and announced, "Ma'am, Jax Teller is here to see Dr. Knowles."

As she listened to the other woman on the phone Cindy wondered how she was going to tell the outlaw biker in front of her that he wouldn't be able to see Dr. Knowles … at Dr. Knowles request. When Mrs. Murphy had finished telling her everything she needed to know Cindy set the phone down gently and looked up at Jax as she told him, "I'm sorry, sir, but Dr. Knowles isn't accepting any visitors at this moment. I can connect you to her room for a brief phone call, but that is about it."

Jax expression hardened as he demanded, "Not good enough. I need to see her. What room is she in?"

Shaking her head, Cindy denied, "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not at liberty to divulge that information. Dr. Knowles has specifically put a bar on any visitors. She's authorized a phone call, and that's all I can help you with at this time."

Hearing that he couldn't see Tara because she'd barred him had a feeling of dread filling Jax. Perhaps naively, he'd hoped that the shit storm they had both gone through would earn him a bit of leeway with Tara, but that was not to be. She was still pissed at him, and while she did have good reason, it wasn't reason enough for her to keep herself away from him. He needed to see her.

Deciding his best bet at being able to see Tara was begging her directly, Jax conceded, "Fine, get her on the phone for me."

It took only a moment for Cindy to dial up Dr. Knowles room and pass the phone to Jax.

"Hello?"

"Tara?"

In her hospital room Tara felt her blood run cold. Where before the sound of Jax's voice whispering her name in that special tone he seemed to save just for her would have made a nice warm feeling fill her body, now it made her feel sick. She couldn't help but think, ' _I wonder if he whispered Ima's name like that when he was balls deep in her?_ '

Refusing to think about what couldn't be changed, refusing to think about how Jax had killed their relationship, and who he had done it with, Tara replied without emotion, "What do you want, Jax?"

Hearing the coldness of her tone, knowing the hurt and anger behind it, Jax closed his eyes and begged into the phone, "Please, Tara, please, babe, let me come see you. I need to see for myself that you're ok."

Ignoring his question entirely, Tara instead demanded, "Where's Able?"

"He's with my mom. He's fine. We got him back safe and sound."

"I'll be by to see him as soon as I'm cleared to leave."

When she said nothing else, Jax pressed, "Tara, please, please let me come up."

Holding tight to her anger, knowing if she didn't her despair would take over, Tara refused, "No. I don't want to see you. We're done, remember?"

"Tara, I don't want—"

"I don't give a shit what you want or don't want anymore, Jax, because now _I'm_ done."

Her words caused him to still, the dread he'd been feeling quickly replaced with bone deep fear, and he hesitantly asked, "Tara, what's going on?"

Up in her hospital room Tara forced herself not to cry as she prepared to lay it out for Jax. She'd done a lot of thinking in the past two and a half days, a lot of thinking, and she'd made some painful decisions. She was done. She couldn't do this with Jax anymore. She couldn't be a part of his world anymore. Especially not now that she had Able and this new baby to think of. She couldn't handle Jax's uncertainty and tendency to fall into bed with whatever woman was handy when shit went wrong. He thought she didn't know about Wendy the night Donna had died, but of course that junkie had called her that next morning to let her know exactly what Jax had done with her, and how many times he'd done her that night.

She'd thought she could get passed it. Especially since he came right back to her at the funeral, held her, kissed her, and promised her a future. She'd given him a pass and never brought it up because it had been a hard night and things with them had been so up in the air, but the shit with Ima? Tara had been hurting just as much as Jax when Able was taken. She'd needed him. She'd needed him so fucking much, and instead of being there for her, instead of holding her and helping her face each awful day as she tried to do for him time and again, he pushed her away and fucked the porn slut she despised so much. Then he'd left her behind to face his enemies on her own. And she'd survived. She'd survied without him, and she would keep surviving without him.

In the end Tara simply couldn't ignore the truth anymore. Jax was weak. He was weak and selfish. He would take and take and take from her until she had nothing left to give, and was left as nothing more than a bitter and broken woman. Tara couldn't let that happen. Not now that she had two kids to think about. And she did have two. Jax might not be her family, as he'd made so perfectly clear to her, but Able sure as hell was. She might not be his biological mother, but she was his _mother_. She would die for him. She'd held his heart in her hands and given her all to make sure he survived, and she wasn't going to let Jax take him from her.

Readying herself for what she needed to do, Tara explained, "Jax, you were right. You and I don't belong together. After I'm cleared to leave I'll be by to see Able and we can discuss a custody agreement. I won't try and keep you from seeing this baby as long as you don't keep Able from me."

While Jax was infinitely relieved to hear that the baby inside her was ok, he couldn't stop himself from begging, "Tara, babe, no. No. Don't do this. I fucked up. Bad. I know, and I swear I'll do whatever I have to in order to make it up to you, but please don't leave me. Please. I need you. Able needs you. We're a family."

Refusing to let his words move her, Tara stiffly replied, "No we're not. You and I aren't family, you made that very clear, and I'm not leaving you. You threw me away. You threw me away and abandoned me here to face your enemies by myself, and I did, but Able is my son. _He_ is my family."

Hearing how badly he had hurt Tara, hearing the disgust in her tone as she berated him for the failure he was, Jax could do nothing but plead, "Tara, please, please don't do this. Ima was mistake. I was out of my fucking mind with worry for Able, and I fucked up, but I swear it will never happen again."

Jax didn't care that he was begging and pleading on the phone with his old lady while his brothers stood around him. He didn't care if they saw how weak she could make him. All he cared about was getting her back.

"And what about Wendy?"

Stiffening at her words, and praying she didn't mean what he thought she meant, hoping beyond hope that she didn't know about the mistake he'd made with his ex the night Donna had died, Jax played dumb and asked, "What about her? She gave up all her rights to Able. You're right, babe, he's yours. You're his mother. Not Wendy."

"Jax, don't play stupid."

She knew. She knew he'd slept with Wendy. Closing his eyes Jax whispered into the phone remorsefully, "You know about that night."

Back in her room, Tara let out a hollow laugh and replied, "Yeah, I know. She couldn't wait to call me the next morning and let me know how many times you made her come. Three apparently. Tell me, Jax, when you were fucking her that night was it still my face you saw? Or how about when you were slamming your cock into Ima? Did I ever cross your mind then?"

Hearing the disgust and hate in her voice, feeling it slice through him painfully, Jax begged, "Tara, please, please don't leave me."

"You sound like a broken record, Jax, and I'm tired of listening to your tune. You can say you're sorry as much as you like, but it doesn't change the fact you're a cheating bastard. I don't care if it is my face you see when you're inside whatever whore you pick for the night. You can stick your cock into whatever junkie or diseased ridden porn star you want from now on, because I'm done with you and your bullshit. I don't need you, and I don't want you. If it weren't for Able I'd already be gone and you'd never see me or this baby again. You're poison, Jax. All you think about is yourself. What you want. What makes you feel better. What you think is best, and you expect me to just follow. Well fuck that! Time for me to make my own choices. I set up an appointment with a family attorney next week to work out a custody agreement. Again, as long as you don't try to keep Able from me I won't keep this baby from you."

She was breaking him. Completely and utterly breaking him. Each word she said shattered his heart and Jax could feel tears filling his eyes as he whispered desperately, "Tara, please don't say that. Please, just let me see you. Let me talk to you."

Jax knew if he could just see her, put his arms around her, he could fix this. If he could just pull her into his embrace, surround her smaller body with his own larger one, he could reaffirm the connection between them. He just needed to be connected to her. He'd done his best to sever the tie between them, thinking it would be best for her, but he now knew how wrong that had been. Tara was a part of him. Tara was as much a part of him as his own beating heart. The heart that was breaking inside him as she uttered such awful and hateful words against him. Words he deserved, but words that devastated him nonetheless.

Tara knew what Jax was trying to do, and it was part of the reason she had made sure to have him barred from her room. She knew if Jax were to take her into his arms the anger and hurt she was holding onto would dissolve. She'd fall into his arms and let him take her pain away just like he had the night he'd killed Josh for her. She couldn't let that happen. She was a mother now. She had two children she was determined to save from Samcro. She had to stay strong.

With that in mind she let all her rage, all her betrayal and despair fill her voice as she seethed, "Just stop, Jax! Stop trying to make it sound as though you need me."

"I do need you!"

"No you don't! You've made it perfectly clear that all you need is the kutte on your back, and a pussy to slide into when you have a rough night! Well you've got your kutte, and I'll give Ima and Wendy a call to tell them to expect you!"

With that Tara slammed the phone down and promptly burst into tears. She felt Margaret wrap her arms around her and she burrowed herself into the other woman's embrace as she sobbed out her pain and loss. She knew that this wasn't the end. She knew Jax wouldn't give up without a fight, but she also knew she couldn't give in. She had to be strong. She loved him. She would always love him—but they couldn't be together. They were too different. They were part of different worlds. They wanted different things. Needed different things. She couldn't be the type of woman that would turn the other cheek when he had his "indiscretions" like Gemma. She couldn't just slap the whore around and give her man a pass. She just couldn't. And Jax couldn't give her what she needed either. She needed stability. She needed fidelity. She needed safety. All things Jax would never be able to provide her as long as he wore that fucking kutte.

"You cry, Tara," Margaret soothed, "you cry your tears. Letting go of someone you love is hard, baby, I know it is, but you have your children to think about. You have to do what is best for them."

Tara knew Margaret's words were right, and it only made her cry all the more as she clutched at the older woman. Needing to borrow some of her strength.

Back down in the hospital lobby Jax listened to the dial tone for a moment before slowly handing the phone back to the receptionist that was looking at him with pity. He took a moment to compose himself before looking at his brothers, all of who were smart enough not to make mention of the tears in his eyes as he said, "She won't see me. She said we're over. She wants us to meet with a family lawyer to discuss a custody agreement for Able and the new baby."

Clay, not knowing how bad it really was, advised, "She just needs to be pissed at you for a while, son. She'll come around. They always do. We'll get our business handled and then you'll have all the time you need to fix this with her."

Opie, knowing Tara better than that, and having his owns suspicions after hearing Jax mention Wendy, asked, "What does Wendy have to do with this? I thought she was gone? Signed over all her parental rights to you?"

Jax swallowed thickly as he looked at his best friend and brother and explained, "I cheated on Tara with Wendy."

"What the fuck!" Opie was furious now as he demanded, "When? Why the fuck would you cheat on the only woman you've ever loved with the junkie whore that nearly killed your son?"

Hating himself more and more by the moment, Jax replied, "It was the night Donna—I just—I didn't—fuck …"

As Jax's words died off Opie could do little more than stare at his brother in disgust. Jax always had let his dick do his thinking for him, but he'd never thought he'd betray Tara like this. He could feel disappointment filling him along with pain at the mention of his late wife. Shaking his head he growled, "You're a fucking idiot."

When Opie turned around and walked off Jax looked at his remaining brothers and asked, "What do I do? I can't lose her. I just can't."

Clay, Bobby, and Chibs shared a look before Clay said, "You'll figure it out. She's obviously not going anywhere. Let's get our business finished. Once we don't have targets on our back and our shit with the Feds is handled we can sit down and figure out how to get your old lady back."

Jax let his stepfather lead him out of the hospital. He felt numb. Which he was grateful for, because if he wasn't numb he knew the pain of Tara's words, her clear disgust and dismissal of him would break him. And Clay was right. He couldn't afford to break down right now. Too much was going on.

Climbing on his bike he looked back at the hospital one last time as he swore to himself, ' _There's no fucking way I'm letting her leave me. No fucking way. Not after I just got her back. I don't know how I can fix this, but I will. I'll fucking kidnap her and tie her up in my bedroom until she sees reason if I have to, but I'm not letting her leave me again. I wouldn't survive it._ '


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

FOURTEEN MONTHS LATER

"Abel, please stop," Tara begged as she tried desperately to get her rambunctious toddler to be still long enough for her to get his pants, shoes, and socks on. "We're running late and your Grandma will be here in a few minutes."

"See Daddy?"

As her eldest son smiled up at her, clearly excited about seeing his father, Tara promised, "Yep, Buddy, Grandma is going to take you to the clubhouse to see your Daddy, but only if you let me get you dressed."

When Abel settled down enough for her to finish dressing him, Tara quickly got him ready, knowing he would be up and about in only a few moments. She still had Thomas to see to, and she was running so late. Gemma was going to be here in ten minutes and Tara desperately wanted the boys to be ready to go by then. She didn't want to give Gemma any time to badger her into going to the clubhouse again. She had no intention of seeing Jax today. None at all.

In fact she hadn't seen Jax in person since the day she caught him with Ima. Remarkably, when she'd been released from the hospital after the attack from Hector she had managed to avoid Jax entirely until he'd gone to prison. That first morning she'd been incredibly lucky to go by the clubhouse to see Abel when all of Samcro had been out doing whatever it was they'd needed to do in order to only get 14 months instead of the years they should have served for attacking the church. After that it had been even easier to avoid him by staying at the apartment of one of the nurses she knew at work. Of course that didn't mean Jax hadn't done all he could to get in touch with her. He'd literally called her cell over 100 times in three days time, and sent her just as many text messages. Not to mention he'd had every croweater, hangaround, and prospect in Charming looking for her as well, but she'd stayed well out of sight.

It had been hard staying away from Abel for those days, but she knew she'd needed to keep out of sight so Jax couldn't get a chance to crack her resolve against him. She'd thought about staying at Margaret's, and the older woman had offered, but Tara had known Jax would easily track her there. And he had indeed swung by Margaret's house several times demanding to see Tara before he'd been locked up, but he simply hadn't had the time to find her.

A few days after getting back from Belfast Jax had been escorted to prison along with the rest of the club members and Tara had been able to come out of hiding. By avoiding him she'd bought herself the time and distance it would take to build up the walls and defenses she would need against Jax. She'd bought herself the time and distance she'd need to ensure that she wouldn't succumb to the only man she'd ever loved now that he was out and would force her to see him.

The last fourteen months had been hard for Tara, building a life that wouldn't include Jax, but she'd done it, and much of that had to do with the inheritance her great aunt had left her. When Tara had left Charming over a decade ago to move in with her great aunt in San Diego she had never managed to build much of a relationship with the woman. In fact when she'd first reached out to her father's aunt and asked if she could come stay with her to cut back on her college expenses she hadn't expected to hear back from her at all. She'd never actually met her, never even spoken to her, she'd only known she existed in an abject sort of way. She'd only known that Aunt Patty was her father's mother's sister, and there had been a huge falling out between him and her many years ago, but she'd been desperate to get out of Charming and needed all the help she could get. So she had reached out, not expecting much, and been surprised when the woman called her up a few weeks after she'd sent her request by mail. Her aunt Patty had grilled her about what she was going to do at school, if she was an alcoholic like her dead beat father, and so on. When Tara assured her that she was a hard working student and determined to go to medical school her aunt she'd never met had agreed to let her come as long as she promised not to get in the way. She'd made sure Tara understood she wasn't allowed to come and go at all hours of the night, and she wasn't allowed to invite people over. Aunt Patty liked her peace and quiet and she wasn't going to give it up. And she made certain Tara understood she'd have clean up after herself. The only thing she was willing to provide was a roof over her head and the food in the fridge, and if Tara didn't like what food there was that was too bad. And if Tara gave her any trouble at all she was out. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Tara hadn't minded. She'd been so involved with her studies she really hadn't had time for a social life, so she'd adapted to her aunt's way of doing things rather easily. Her aunt had lived in a Spanish style home in San Diego that the woman had bought nearly 50 years before. The place was run down, and her aunt's furniture and home had seemed shabby at best. The entire time she'd lived with her Aunt Patty she'd had maybe a handful of conversations with the woman. Nothing more. It had been more like they were roommates. Roomates that didn't talk, and barely saw each other enough to say hello. The woman was an odd ball for sure. She spent most of her time in her garden tending to her plants, and yelling at her neighbors for whatever they'd done that day to upset her. She never said much to Tara other than to remind her not to get in the way or run up her light bill. So when Tara graduated school and was moving to Chicago for her internship, her aunt had done little more than toss a wave over her shoulder as Tara pulled out with her Uhaul with what possessions she'd managed to accumulate while in college. She hadn't even spoken to her aunt since then.

So Tara hadn't been able to contain her shock when at eight months pregnant with Thomas an estate lawyer had come knocking on her door to let her know that her Aunt Patty had passed on and left her everything in her will. Not only that, but that her Aunt Patty had also apparently been a secret millionaire. All told after selling off her Aunt's house, which while run down and in need of repairs was prime real estate because of it's location, Tara had inherited upwards of 7.2 million dollars.

She'd walked around in a daze the first week after getting the money. The only explanation she'd received was a short note from her Aunt Patty given to her by the estate lawyer saying simply, "Try to do more with it than I ever did." And that was it. Nothing else. At first Tara hadn't known what to do with the money, but she'd quickly come up with a plan.

First, she'd put a million into two separate trust funds for Abel and Thomas. As long as the economy didn't crash the savings and investments in the trusts should ensure that both her boys would get upwards of two million each on their 25th birthdays. After that she'd put two million into her IRA so she'd never have to worry about things in her old age. She'd then put another million into an investment portfolio. From there she'd bought this house. It had been in horrible shape when she'd first found it, but after a few hundred thousand in renovations she was now the proud owner of a beautiful two story farm house situated on a little over ten acres right on the outskirts of Charming. It was all she'd ever dreamed about. She'd gone all out on her new home as well.

She'd fenced off her property with beautiful white wood, had a gorgeous koi pond put in, and had a small stable added for the four horses she'd purchased. She'd always loved horses, and had taken riding lessons when she was younger all the way through high school, but she'd hadn't ridden since she left Charming. She'd been far to busy for it and hadn't had the money to do so. With her Aunt's inheritance she'd finally able to get a horse of her own. In fact she'd bought four. She loved sitting on the porch in the mornings sipping her coffee before her day officially started and watching them run around. Of course she hadn't been able to go riding while pregnant, but when she'd been cleared by her doctor after Thomas's birth she'd hired an instructor to come give her a refresher course. She took riding lessons at least three times a week, and she was looking forward to teaching Abel soon. She'd even started doing a little shopping for a pony for him, but as she thought he was still too young she wasn't doing it seriously.

In addition to getting her dream house built she had approached Margaret and the board at St. Thomas with an offer. She was willing to take a huge pay cut, making a paltry $4000 a year, if they agreed to cut her work week down to four days a week, and would give her an hour and a half lunch break each day. By doing this she was able to keep her full coverage health insurance, including dental for herself and her sons, and she would be able to bring the boys with her to work each day. With her long lunch break she would be able to spend that time with them as well. It would allow her to continue as a neonatal surgeon, and be the kind of mother she wanted to be. With the money she had in her savings account, and her investment portfolio, not to mention her IRA, she didn't need the paycheck from St. Thomas. As expected the board jumped at the offer. Not having to pay her the $140,000 a year a surgeon of her caliber required gave them the opportunity to hire three more nurses and take on an additional intern. Which the hospital had desperately needed.

In addition to all the financial moves she had made while Jax was gone, Tara had also taken some pretty significant leaps in her personal life as well. When pregnant with Thomas she had spent a good deal of time thinking about how often her life had been in danger since she'd come back to Charming. She'd thought about how helpless Josh and Hector had both made her feel, and she was determined to never feel like that again. So while pregnant she'd begun researching different martial arts and settled on Krav Maga. She'd found a great nearby instructor who agreed to come give her private lessons five times a week in the morning before she went to work after she gave birth to Thomas. So for the past six months she'd been taking Krav Maga steadily enough that she was already a brown belt. Her instructor had told her she was doing so well, that her dedication was such, that it was time for her to add another martial art to her training regimen, and she was giving some consideration to adding Muay Thai. She loved the way her training made her feel. Powerful. In control. Strong.

And along with her physical training she'd also done her best to build up a healthy social life. She knew she would need something to keep her occupied when Jax got out. She couldn't give herself time to think about him, to dream about what it would be like to live a life with him. So as Abel and Thomas spent Tuesday and Thursday nights with Gemma, Tara had invited Margaret and a few of the nurses at work to joining her in a cooking class twice a week. So Tara had truly been doing her best to build a life for herself that didn't include Jax.

Of course Tara had kept her inheritance a secret. When Gemma had asked her how she'd afforded the new house and the repairs for it, Tara had simply said she'd gotten a great deal on the sale of her father's house, and she'd had enough in savings to make a big down payment. Gemma had seemed to buy it, and since her pay cut at work was private information Tara knew Jax's mom had no idea of just how much money she now had. And Tara meant to keep it that way. Tara had seen the way Samcro had sucked the money right out of Luanne's business, and she wasn't about to let that happen to her. Her aunt's inheritance had ensured she and her children would never need to worry, and Tara meant to keep it that way.

So Tara had done her best to keep herself busy. So busy that she wouldn't have time to think about Jax or think about the fact they would never have a life together. In fact the only time she allowed herself to think about Jax was when she had her lawyer send her initial custody offer to him. Jax had refused to sign it, and instead sent a note back to her saying there was no way he would discuss custody through a lawyer. He would only talk to her face to face. When Tara refused to go see him Jax had actually surprised her by sending a second note saying he could understand she was upset and couldn't see him yet, though he'd made it clear he wasn't going to give her up, but he refused to sign a custody agreement. He wouldn't give up on them or their future by doing so his note had said. He instead offered to let her adopt Abel. He'd written that he knew she must be afraid he would take Abel away from her, and Jax had wanted to assure her that no matter what happened between them, she was the only mother he wanted Abel to know.

Tara had been truly touched by his words, and part of her had wanted to go to Stockton to thank him in person, but she had refrained. Instead she'd sent him a simple note back telling him, "Thank you." Since then Jax had written her nearly every day, but she never responded. She couldn't. She needed to quit Jax cold turkey or risk falling back into his arms again. So she'd kept her distance. She'd returned his letters unopened, and refused his calls when he reached out to her from Stockton.

But the time for avoiding Jax was over. He and the others would be getting out today, and Tara knew Jax would come for her. And she hoped she was ready for him. She hoped she would have the strength to keep him at a distance when he was literally right before her, when he was staring straight into her eyes and giving her that look that always melted her heart.

' _I have to have the strength. I have to be strong for my boys. I can't let Jax or his world destroy me_ ,' Tara thought to herself as she finished dressing Thomas and went to grab his diaper bag. She still didn't know how she was going to keep her boys from getting sucked into Samcro, but she had a some years to figure it out. For now she needed to focus on the battles at hand. The battle to keep herself away from Jax and to keep him away from her. She knew it wouldn't be easy. There was no way Jax would let her go easily.

Hearing a knock at the door a moment before Gemma came strolling in, Tara greeted, "Hi Gem."

"Hi baby," Gemma greeted before swopping up Abel and adding, "and how's my big boy!"

"Hi Grandma!"

Abel squealed as Gemma showered his face with kisses before asking, "We go see Daddy now?"

"Yes, baby, we're going to go see your Daddy," Gemma replied as she shifted Abel to her hip and watched Tara rushing around to gather up the last few things she felt Jax would need to keep Thomas and Abel for the night. After the wedding Tara was going to let Jax take the boys home with him. He needed to spend some time with them and get used to being a father again. While Tara couldn't allow herself to be with Jax, that didn't mean she didn't want him to be a father to their boys.

"Tara, honey, are you sure you don't—"

"No, Gemma. I've told you a dozen times I'm not going."

"You can't avoid him forever. Jax isn't going to rest until he sees you."

"I'll see him tonight. I'm the maid of honor if you remember."

Looking at the woman she had such a difficult and complicated relationship with, but loved like a daughter now, Gemma pleaded, "Tara, please just see him. I know he fucked up. He knows he fucked up. We all know he fucked up, but he can't make things right if you won't speak to him."

Strapping Thomas into his carrier, Tara avoided looking at Gemma as she said, "I don't want him to fix anything, Gemma, because there is nothing to fix. Jax and I are done."

Rolling her eyes, Gemma denied, "You two will never be done. If a decade apart and my supreme endeavors to break you two up when you were kids and when you first got back didn't keep you apart, then I seriously doubt one drunken night with a porn star will."

Rage filling her at the way Gemma was brushing off Jax's betrayal Tara stood up from her bent over position in front of Thomas's carrier, and hissed, "It's not that simple, Gemma! And don't act like what he did to me was some small thing to get over!"

Seeing how upset Tara was getting, Gemma quickly backpedaled, "Tara, I'm not excusing what the did. I'm mad as hell for how he treated you, but you know why he did it."

"His reasons for hurting and betraying me, for abandoning me, aren't important. And even if they were, what has changed between now and then, Gemma? Hmm? If Jax felt the need to break my heart in front of everyone in order to keep me safe, then why the change of heart? Is Samcro suddenly in a world filled with fluffy bunnies and rainbows? Or do you still do business with illegal arms dealers, gangs, and outlaw motorcycle clubs?"

When Gemma had nothing to say, Tara said with a note of finality in her voice, "What was between me and Jax is over. I'm glad it happened. It gave us Thomas, but it's over. All any of us can do now is find a way to get along. I'm doing my best."

Searching the younger woman's eyes, Gemma saw her resolve there, but couldn't help thinking, ' _Let's see how firm her stance is when Jax is standing right in front of her. She loves him just as much as he loves her. She won't be able to stay away from him. At least not for long._ '

While Gemma had originally wanted Tara gone, things had definitely changed. Tara had been there for her at her lowest point. Been there for her, kept her secret, lent her strength when she needed it, and done her best to be supportive. By doing so Tara had definitely earned herself a place in Gemma's heart, but Jax was her son. Her baby, and now that Gemma was also keen on having Tara part of the family, that meant she was determined to do all she could to help her son win back the girl he'd loved since he was 16.

Still, Gemma knew when it was time to back down and regroup, and now was one of those times. She could tell that Tara was too wound up, too nervous about her upcoming inevitable meeting with Jax to be reasoned with. So with that in mind Gemma began carrying Abel out of the house as Tara followed with Thomas. Once she was situated in the car with Abel and Thomas safely strapped in back, she looked at Tara standing next to her Escalade and said, "Don't be late tonight. Lyla and I will need you on the reservation for hair and makeup at 5:30."

"I'll be there," Tara promised.

With a final nod Gemma headed her SUV down Tara's long driveway. Tara watched her go before she headed back inside. She needed to get out of her house now. She knew Jax would come for her as soon as he came back, and she didn't plan on being here. It was bad enough she would have to see him tonight, she didn't need to see him now. Tara knew as much as Jax wanted to speak to her he wouldn't ruin Opie and Lyla's wedding. He'd probably spend the whole night starring at her, willing her without words to speak to him, and it would certainly be uncomfortable, but she was determined to put off their talk for as long as possible. With that in mind she locked up her house and headed out to the gym she'd joined. A few hours of lifting weights would take her mind off Jax. Hopefully.

…

…

…

Back in Charming Jax pulled into the clubhouse lot. After turning off his bike and taking off his helmet he immediately headed towards his mom who was holding Thomas while Abel stood at her feet. His eyes scanned the crowd looking for Tara. He doubted she would be here, but he still hoped. Not seeing her he moved to his Mom and immediately swept his oldest son in his arms to swing him around.

Keeping Abel close before kissing the top of Thomas's head where his mom held him, Jax finally looked at her and asked, "She refused to come?"

"I'm sorry baby, but you know how stubborn she is," Gemma soothed. She'd wanted his homecoming to be perfect, and without Tara it was anything but.

"It's not your fault. I knew she wouldn't come, but I'm done letting her ignore me."

Smiling at her son's determined gaze, and knowing that he wouldn't rest until Tara was back by his side, Gemma warned, "Just think things through, Jax. You'll only get one chance to fix this. You fuck it up and I"ll beat the shit out of you."

Arching a brow, Jax teased, "And when did you become so determined to have Tara as a daughter in law?"

"After that night."

When Jax's expression changed from teasing to sad and angry at the reminder of how she had been hurt by Zoebelle and his skinhead goons, Gemma explained, "Despite all the awful shit I ever said or did to Tara when I called her that night she came. She came, she patched me up, and she kept my secret. She did her best to help me, and she was there for our family in a way none of us deserved."

Glaring up at her son, Gemma added, "So she's not the only one pissed at how you treated her."

"Ma, I didn't—"

"I don't want to hear it, Jax. I know why you did it, but that doesn't make it right or ok. You hurt her. You hurt her badly, and she has every right to be this pissed at you, and while I want you two to patch things up, that doesn't mean I don't believe you deserve every bit of agony Tara is putting you through right now."

Strangely Jax found himself comforted by his mother's words. It made him glad that his mother and Tara had become so close. The animosity between them had been one of his greatest obstacles in being happy with Tara, and now that his mom was putting her mind to keeping them together instead of breaking them apart it was going to make things so much easier for him.

He spent the next half hour enjoying having his boys back in his arms. He held Thomas and played with Abel a bit before cornering his mom and asking, "Do you know where she is?"

"Home. Still hiding from you."

"Of course she is," Jax muttered. Tara had refused to have anything to do with him since he got back from Belfast, and it was killing him. He knew this was all his fault, but he was determined to make it right. Of course he couldn't do that unless he could fucking talk to her!

Before Jax could say anything else, Clay came up beside him and said, "Time to go son. We have our meet with the Russians. We'll have church and then head out. Need to get this shit done before the wedding tonight."

Jax wasn't about to do that. Shaking his head, he denied, "I can't, Clay. I need to go talk to Tara first."

"Jax, we—"

"Clay, I'm not asking. I'm telling. I'm going over to Tara's place to talk to her. You don't need me for this meeting. My part comes tonight. Take Opie. You guys can fill me in later tonight."

"Jax," Clay began, "I get you need to fix shit with Tara, but club business comes first."

Gemma, seeing the fight that was about to take place, stepped between them and whispered to Clay, "Baby, he needs this. Let him go. You guys can fill him in later."

Clay looked into his wife's eyes, and at the plea he saw in them, he finally relented. Turning to Jax he said, "Fine. Go, but don't be late tonight. I know fixing things with Tara is important, but the shit we have going down tonight is important too."

"I won't be late," Jax promised as he leaned down to kiss Abel goodbye before kissing Thomas's cheek. With a wave to his mom and stepfather he mounted his bike and headed towards the new house Tara had apparently bought. His mother had told him all about it on her visits to him in Stockton. Jax was anxious to see it. From the way his mother had described it there was no way Tara should have been able to afford it. Even with her generous salary at the hospital and with the sale of her father's house.

Charming being the small place it was it didn't take him long to reach her house. Making his way down her drive Jax marveled at the horses he saw running through the pasture on Tara's land, and he openly gaped at the beautiful white farm house with blue trim nestled between some trees. The house was just as gorgeous as his mother had described, and Jax was even more determined to find out how Tara could afford this. He wasn't surprised by the horses. He knew how much Tara had always loved them. He'd even gone ridding with her a time or two when they were younger.

Parking his bike he made his way up the front steps and banged on the door, "Tara! Tara, open the fucking door!"

When no response came Jax began looking in windows as he made his way around the wrap around porch the house had. It didn't take him long to conclude that Tara wasn't here. She'd run from him again.

"Fuck," he growled before pulling out his phone and dialing Tara's number. He wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. She had been ignoring his calls since he got back from Belfast, but he was done putting up with it.

"Tara, this shit isn't going to fly anymore. I'm not in prison, and you can't run anymore. You and I are going to talk. Face to face. If I have to chase you to fucking China to do so I will. Stop running from me, babe, or I swear I will hunt you down, tie you up, and lock you in my fucking bedroom until I get you to see reason!"

Ending the call Jax headed for his bike. Having no clue where Tara was he wasn't keen on wasting time trying to find her. He'd try and catch up with Clay and Opie. He knew where Tara would be tonight. She was Lyla's maid of honor so there was no way she could hide from him come this evening when the wedding took place. He knew she hoped that he wouldn't make a scene at Opie's wedding, but that wasn't going to happen. He'd spoken to Opie earlier, letting him know that things might get heated between him and Tara at the wedding, and his brother had just laughed and said he and Lyla were looking forward to it, that they had a running bet going. Opie was certain that Tara was going to kick him in the balls before the night was over, and Lyla was just as certain that Tara would break the second she saw him and kiss him. And apparently they weren't the only ones. Most of the club members, old ladies, crow eaters, and hangarounds had put money down on how the long awaited reunion between them was going to go.

Jax hadn't said it, but he was pretty sure Tara was going to kick him in the balls as well. Especially when he made it perfectly fucking clear to her that there was no fucking way in hell he was letting her leave him. _No fucking way_. He didn't know how he was going to get her take him back, how to get her to forgive him, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wasn't leaving. He wouldn't allow it. If Tara wanted to play hardball so fucking be it. He'd show her just how determined he was to have her back at his side, back in his home, back in his arms, and back in his bed. Right where she fucking belonged. Where she had _always_ belonged.

Making his way down Tara's long drive, Jax thought, ' _Tara is mine, and it's time to remind her of that fact._ '


	3. Chapter 3

In my story Tara never changed her hair. I only like the hair she had in the first season. In my opinion, every hairstyle she had after season one made her look so much older, and in the case of season 6 just plain ugly. So in my story she just let her hair grow longer and now it is down to mid back. That is all she did to it.

Also, apparently the first chapter of my story resembles another one, but no one has mentioned which one. Can someone point it out to me? I just discovered fanfiction a few months ago after lamenting the end of SOA (even though the last two seasons totally ripped my heart out), and while I really have enjoyed many SOA fanfics on here, and a few other genres (I had no idea fanfiction was literally an entire subculture!), I haven't run across a story that is exactly like mine. So if someone can please tell me the name of this story I would much appreciate it. I don't see how that is possible as I thought my idea was totally different, but I guess it could be possible. It's why I put the second chapter up so fast. If after the second chapter my story is still exactly like this other one I will be blown away. And not in a good way. Still, I'd like to read this other story, so everyone who reviewed that think I stole it please either tell me the name of the story or contact the other author and ask them to glance over mine. If this other author feels I've stolen their story line as they put theirs up first I'll take mine down. Still, I really don't see how they can be exactly alike as several of you have claimed. I really don't. None of the stories I've read on here so far are anything like my story.

I guess I should start by pointing out how I got the idea for my story, and it started when I was rewatching season three. I've been rewatching all the seasons through season 4. I own the rest, but I refuse to watch them. I like to pretend Jax and Tara ended up together. So I was watching season 3 and I couldn't figure out why Tara didn't kill Hector when she had the chance. She was in a very scary situation, she's a very smart woman, and she had killed out of necessity before, so why the hesitation? It didn't make sense to me, nor did her simply giving Jax a total pass. I felt like Kurt didn't stay true to Tara's character as he had written her initially. I felt like he had her behave in a way that fit what he wanted the story to do, instead of how he'd set up the character herself. In every episode previously Tara had been so strong, so determined not to be a doormat. It's why she slapped the shit out of Jax at Abel's welcome home party, because he was disrespecting her in front of everyone, making it seem like she wasn't very important to him. That is the Tara I know, the one I like most, and I just didn't understand the Tara Kurt seemed determined to write. Sometimes on the show it seemed like there were two Taras. So I had her save herself and stand her ground as she should have. I have her remaining strong and refusing to compromise on what she deserves or what is best for her boys.

Several of you have said that there was no point in bringing up Wendy, but I beg to differ. It shows a pattern of Jax's behavior. Things get bad, he gets overwhelmed, and any loyalty to the woman he supposedly loves is out the window and all he thinks about is making himself feel better. How would any of you feel if the man you'd love since you were 16, the man you were rekindling a relationship with, trying to build a life with, slept with another woman at a time like that? Would you excuse it? Let it go because you weren't technically an official couple? If you are the type of woman to do that you are very different than me.

Also, several of you have remarked that Jax would never beg Tara like I have had him do in my story, and my response to that is remember in season one in the hospital when he begged her not to leave? Telling her she was the only woman he ever saw? Was that not a very impassioned speech? A very emotional plea on his behalf as he laid himself bare before her? What about when he begged all those people after Abel was taken? Jax doesn't beg for anyone or anything but his kids and the love of his life, and in my story he's going to be doing a lot of groveling to get Tara back, but be assured, in a very badass way. Tara does have the power to make him weak, but only Tara. To everyone else he will still be the badass outlaw biker. I will admit I'm having trouble walking the fine line of keeping him from being too sentimental, but I so far I think I'm doing a good job.

I truly believed that losing Abel like he did, especially after learning of the attack on his mother, changed Jax. Put him more in tune with his feelings, feelings he will only share with Tara, but feelings all the same. Several of you have said he would never be that weak in front of others and I can't help wondnering if any of you remember the times he cried in front of his brothers on the actual show? Rewatch the show like I've been doing and you'll see how wrong that is. He may have never broke down in sobs in front of them often, but he certainly got misty eyed in front of them several times, so your claims that I have my Jax being very OOC is wrong in my opinion, but to each their own. If you don't like my story that's fine. Apparently there are thousands on this site for you to choose from.

Still, this other story that resembles mine is odd. So please, anyone who knows this story or author please alert me to what it is. I'd like to read the story for myself to see if the similarities are really that significant. I just really don't see how that is possible.

Chapter 3

There she was. Right in fucking front of him. Of course she was ignoring him. Had been ignoring him since he got here, but Jax didn't let that discourage him. The important thing for him was he'd finally set eyes on Tara for the first time in over a year, and she was just as beautiful as he remembered. Not only that but she looked fucking gorgeous! He didn't know what the hell she'd been doing with herself, but damn was her body amazing! Her breasts were much larger, and he'd learned from his mom that was because Tara was still breastfeeding, and her ass was literally out of this world. Tara had always taken good care of herself and she'd never been overweight or anything, but her body had never looked like this. Tara looked toned. Very toned. She was slimmer in all the right places, and rounder in even better ones. And he couldn't wait to bury his hands into her hair. She'd let it grow and it was down to her middle back hanging in a thick curtain of chocolate silk he just couldn't wait to touch.

Jax could literally feel his hands itching to get a hold of her, and he lamented the fact that even if he did it wouldn't be for long. He had no delusions that he had a long and hard fight in front of him to get Tara back. She'd made it more than apparent that she was not going to make this easy on him. Her refusal to see him over the past 14 months had made it very clear to him that she was going to make him work his ass off to earn her forgiveness. It was a challenge he was all too eager to take on.

Half listening to the ceremonial words being spoken to Opie and Lyla Jax let himself get lost in the fantasy that this was his wedding as he gazed with sheer longing at Tara across from him. He dreamed that Tara was standing beside him, smiling up at him in a pretty white dress, preparing to vow to spend the rest of her life with him. To share her future with him. To make memories with him. To love him, and hold him, and be happy with him for the rest of their days. It was a dream he was determined to make happen.

"Jax!"

Shaking himself out of his stupor Jax finally looked at Opie who was glaring at him. A quick glance around and he noticed that everyone was staring at him, save Tara, and he asked rather foolishly, "What?"

Opie couldn't help but shake his head and grin as he muttered, "Quit daydreaming about Tara and pay fucking attention for five more minutes, bro! We've been asking you for the ring over and over you idiot!"

"Oh shit! Sorry!" Quickly searching his pockets Jax produced the ring for his friend with a sheepish smile and muttered, "I'll pay attention from now on. Promise"

Opie just shook his head at his best friend again before facing Lyla who gave Jax a quick wink while smiling broadly. As she focused back on her new husband she whispered, "You better look at me like that for the rest of our lives."

"Plan on it," Opie teased as he slipped the ring on her finger.

The rest of the ceremony was over quickly and Jax was eager for it. Tara had completely avoided him since she got here, but as he was the best man and she was the maid of honor after Opie and Lyla headed down the aisle he was supposed to escort her. He'd like to see how she'd ignore him then!

Once Opie and Lyla had headed off down the aisle Jax turned to grin at Tara and offer her arm before letting out a curse as he watched her turn away from him and walk off the side of the stage as quickly as possible, completely ignoring him still.

"Tara," he hissed as he headed after her, trying to politely push through everyone else as they too followed after Opie and Lyla toward the reception not far away.

Tara ignored him as she walked a brisk pace. She was doing an admirable job so far of staying away from Jax, and she had managed to keep her tears at bay, but she was fast losing control. Standing across from Jax at this wedding was sheer torture. It was torture for her because all she'd ever wanted was to marry Jax. To be his wife. To be a family with him, and the fact that was never going to be broke her heart.

"Tara!"

She ignored him and made her way to the wedding party table as quickly as she could. She offered Opie and Lyla a watery smile as she took her seat next to Lyla while still avoiding looking at Jax when he finally reached the table as well, glaring daggers at her as he hissed, "Tara, fucking talk to me!"

Focusing on Lyla, Tara said, "It was a beautiful ceremony, Lyla. Everything looks amazing."

Lyla, more loyal to Tara than Jax, returned her smile and said, "Thanks, and thanks for all your help getting everything ready."

"No problem."

Jax wanted to butt in, he wanted to grab Tara's arm and pull her off somewhere private so that he could finally talk to her, but he knew now wasn't the time. He just needed to get through this part of the reception, give his speech, and then at the first opportunity he'd grab Tara and make her talk to him. So he simply said, "Don't think I'm letting you leave her tonight without talking to me, Tara, because it's not fucking happening."

When she didn't respond, refused to even glance his way, Jax muttered a curse and downed the glass of champagne in front of him, wishing it was something stronger. Opie glanced between his two friends and began to wonder if he should interfere. He and Lyla had discussed it earlier and had agreed that while they wouldn't mind Jax making a scene at their wedding trying to talk to Tara, they didn't think they should do anything to help him. Tara was their friend too, and neither wanted to make her feel like they were choosing sides, but Opie could see how hard this was on Jax, and he was starting to think he should help him out at least a little. With that in mind he whispered, "Don't worry, man, I won't let her sneak away either."

"Thanks, bro. I'm obviously going to need all the help I can get," Jax replied as he continued staring at Tara who was pointedly ignoring him while speaking to Lyla.

The next two hours seemed to drag by. The only break in the party being when he and a few of the others had snuck away to take out Putlova and his crew before heading back to the party like nothing had happened. Wound up from taking out the man that had ordered his shanking in prison, Jax decided he was done waiting. As soon as he returned to the reception with the other club members he began stalking Tara through the party. Watching as she danced with one member or club friend after another, all the while ignoring him. If she hadn't been doing such an admirable job of making sure she never got anywhere near him, he would think she really wasn't paying him any attention at all, but she was doing far too well in making sure she never got close for it to be coincidence. Finally Jax saw his opening. Piney was escorting Tara off the dance floor and he met them half way. Nodding his head at Opie's father before looking straight into Tara's eyes for the first time in over a year, Jax said, "Tara, you're coming with me."

Tara had seen him coming and she'd felt a moment of panic. Looking around wildly she tried to find an exit. The boys were with Gemma and Clay who were both staring at them as well, and when Tara let her eyes scan the rest of the crowd she could see all eyes on them. She felt trapped, and she desperately tried to think of a way out of this mess.

Knowing exactly what Tara was thinking, Jax growled, "You try to run and I'll toss you over my shoulder, Tara, I swear it. I'm done letting you ignore me. We're going to talk. _Now_."

Piney, not wanting to get into the middle of the epic fight about to take place, patted Tara's shoulder affectionately and mumbled, "I'm just going to hit up the free bar. You kids try not to tear each other apart."

"Thanks, old man," Jax said as he grabbed Tara's arm and began pulling her away from the reception into the woods he and his brothers had killed Putlova in. He felt her hesitate for only a moment before following after him. He didn't let go of her arm though. He wasn't going to take the chance she'd bolt.

Tara thought about using her new Krav Maga skills to break Jax's hold and put him flat on his ass, but decided against it. In the end she decided she had to have it out with Jax. Putting it off was doing no good, and it would be best to get it over with so that they both could begin moving on. With that in mind she let Jax lead her into the woods, the full moon lighting their way.

Once they were far enough away from the reception that Jax felt sure no one would hear he brought them to a stop. Keeping a firm hold on Tara's arm he spun around to face her and hissed, "You are done fucking ignoring me! I fucked up. Bad. I hurt you. I know that, and I am going to make amends, but I can't if you won't even see me! You have to talk to me, Tara! I can't fix this if you won't fucking talk to me!"

Jerking her arm out of his grasp, Tara snapped, "There is nothing to fix! We're done, Jax! Over!"

"The hell we are! Tara, we belong together! You know that!"

Jax didn't give Tara a chance to respond as he continued, "Tara, I can't imagine how you must have felt that morning when you caught me with Ima, and I know it must have hurt you when Wendy called and told you all that shit, but you must know that neither of them meant anything to me. No woman has ever meant anything to me but you, and yes, it was you I saw when I was with them. You are all I ever see! Tara, you—"

"Stop! Just fucking stop, Jax!"

"Tara, I—"

"No!"

Jax watched tears begin to fill Tara's eyes as she took a step back from him and he rushed, "No, Tara! I won't stop! I won't give you up! I won't give us up!"

"There is no us!"

He was on her before she had a chance to back away. Before she could think to push him away, or even use some of her new martial art skills, Jax had his arms around her as he crushed her to his chest and slanted his mouth over hers. His tongue was insider her mouth, laying claim before she could draw breath. She felt the heat of him, the possession of his embrace encompass her and for a single moment she melted against him, let herself remember what it felt like to be held in the loving arms of Jackson Teller.

Just as suddenly an image of Ima in the same shirt of Jax's he had given her to wear popped into her mind and Tara shoved Jax away as hard as she could before slapping him brutally across the cheek as she seethed, "Don't you fucking touch me!"

Stumbling back, ignoring the sting on his cheek, Jax refused, "Tara, please, _please_ tell me how to fix this. Tell me what you need from me for us to move past this. I'll do anything you want to earn your forgiveness."

"All I want from you is for you to leave me alone."

"Well that's not going to happen. I know I fucked up, Tara, and I'll make amends, but I can't if you won't talk to me."

"Fucked up?" Letting out a bitter laugh as more tears fell down her cheeks, Tara repeated, "You fucked up?"

"Look, I know Wendy was a mistake, and the shit with Ima was so fucking wrong, but, Tara, babe, you have to believe me when I say it will never happen again. You have to believe me when I say that neither of them meant anything to me."

Shaking her head, Tara whispered brokenly, "Jax, you just don't get it."

At her defeated tone, the sheer pain in her voice, Jax softly called to her, "Tara, please. Please tell me how to make this right again."

Looking up at the only man she had ever loved with sad and broken eyes, Tara explained, "Jax, there is no way for you to fix this. What you've done to us, how you've broken us, well it can't be undone."

"Tara, I can—"

"Jax, I'm afraid of you."

He jerked back. Her words ripped through him more fiercely than any blade and he gasped, "What? Tara, I would never hurt you!"

"Won't you?"

More tears spilling down her cheeks, Tara went on, "Jax, you chose Ima on purpose. You took her to the club house on purpose. You knew I would come looking for you the next day. It's why you left the door unlocked."

Jax didn't have anything to say to that because it was all true, and Tara would be able to tell he was lying if he tried to deny it. He had called Ima as soon as he left Tara at the hospital after breaking it off with her. He'd called her and told her to meet him at the clubhouse with the sole purpose of fucking her brains out so Tara would find them the next morning. He had known it would be the only way to force Tara to take the breakup seriously. He'd been desperate to get her away from his world at that point. He'd been certain that if she stayed a moment longer his life would kill her, but he'd been wrong. They were stronger together than apart. Together they could get past anything. It was when they were apart that the worst happened.

When Jax remained silent, Tara continued, her voice small and filled with pain, "Jax, how could I ever be with you again knowing that you are entirely capable of hurting me like that on purpose? You chose to devastate me. You _planned_ to do it. How can I ever trust you again?"

"Tara, I won't—"

"No, Jax, you wanted to talk so here we are. I'm going to have my say," Tara interrupted. She had been trying to avoid having this talk for as long as possible, but now that it was taking place she let it all out. All her pain. All her loss. All her sorrow. All her shattered hopes and dreams.

"Jax, I needed you. I needed you so fucking much. I blamed myself for Abel's abduction, and I needed you."

"It wasn't your fault, Tara," Jax quickly assured. Hating that Tara thought anything that had happened had been her fault.

Shaking her head, Tara denied, "Blood or no blood I'm his mother. I've loved him from the moment I held his heart in my hands, and I didn't save him."

"Tara," Jax whispered as he watched her break down in front of him. He tried to take her into his arms, to soothe this pain inside her, but she pushed him away.

"Don't touch me." Wiping furiously at the tears in her eyes Tara forced herself to continue, "I know it wasn't my fault that an illegal arms dealer for a terrorist organization broke into our home and stole our son at gun and knifepoint. I know it wasn't my fault that Half Sac died that day. My mind knows these things, but my heart didn't and doesn't. Abel is my son and I should have saved him."

Her emotions raging, Tara sobbed, "But I was pregnant, and Cameron had just killed Half Sac, and he had the knife— and I—I just—there was so much blood—and I didn't know how to get the knife or gun from him—and I was so fucking scared, Jax! I was afraid if I moved wrong he'd kill us both!"

Jax listened with a breaking heart as Tara poured out her emotions and he began to realize just how badly he had hurt her, how he had torn her down when she needed him so much. ' _What the fuck have I done,_ ' he thought to himself.

Refusing to look away from Jax, Tara sobbed, "Jax, I needed you. I needed you to hold me. To tell me it wasn't my fault. To tell me we would get Abel back. I needed you to just fucking look at me for one goddamned minute!—but you never did. You barely let me touch you, let alone tried to touch me on your own. You just—you left me, and then you started trying to destroy me. I—I needed you and you tried to destroy me."

Tears dripping down her cheeks, Tara raged, "I had lost my son, watched a man I considered a friend bleed out in front of me on our kitchen floor, and when I should have been able to count on you, when I should have been able to turn to you, find safety and comfort in your arms, instead of being there for me you deliberately did your best to destroy me. You made a plan to hurt me as much as you possibly could, and then you carried it out."

Holding Jax's pained gaze, Tara asked, "So how could I ever be with you again knowing you're capable of that? How could I ever be with you in your world, knowing more hard times will happen, and fearing that at any moment things will go wrong and you'll hurt me? That you'll turn on me?"

Her words were breaking him. Seeing her now, hearing her say these awful things was breaking him. Jax had known Tara was hurt and angry, but he had firmly believed that her determination to keep her distance from him had more to do with making him suffer for his betrayal, that it was her anger he'd have to work on the most. But now? Hearing that the reason she was staying away from him was because she was afraid of him broke his heart. Hearing her tell him that she was afraid to be with him nearly had him dropping to his knees.

"Tara, oh baby, no! I swear I'll never hurt you again! I promise!"

"I don't believe you," Tara whispered as she swept more tears off her cheeks. "You didn't fuck up, Jax, you destroyed us. You destroyed my trust in you, and you broke our bond in a way that can't be fixed."

He couldn't stand hearing her say these things. "Tara, no! Don't say that! Don't ever say that!"

Rushing towards her to take hold of her arms as she cried Jax begged, "Tara, I'm not the same man I was. All that shit? It changed me. It's made me realize that everything has to change. I don't want our family to live in a world that involves enemies that gangrape women and kidnap children, and I have a plan to get the club out of guns, but I need you beside me! I need you so fucking much, Tara! I love you so fucking much! You're everything to me! You and our boys!"

Pushing out of his hold again, Tara refused, "Jax, just stop! I don't want to hear it. I've heard enough of your hollow promises. Promises that are broken just as easily as they're given. I don't want them. I don't want anything from you. Not anymore."

She had to stop saying these things! His heart couldn't take it. Refusing to accept her words, Jax vowed, "Tara, I don't know how I'm going to fix this, but I will. I won't stop until you're back beside me. I won't stop until I've earned your trust again."

"Jax, please just let it go. Let _us_ go. We're not meant to be." It killed Tara to say these words. It absolutely killed her to stare at this man she wanted so badly, loved with every fiber of her being, and told him that she could never be with him again.

"No," Jax refused, "never! I realize now how badly I've hurt you, and I know I have to make this right, but be assured I will make it right. I will not let this be the end of us, because you are wrong, we are meant to be."

Staring hard at Tara, Jax begged, "Tara, please, just give me a chance. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change the Sons. Give me a chance to show you that I can take the club in a new direction. I have a plan. A good plan, and in a few years time the Sons will be completely out of guns. I'm going to make our lives safe. The way they should be. And I'm going to prove to you that I can be the kind of man you need, the kind you deserve. I swear it."

When she just continued to stand there staring at him with those hollow and broken eyes filled with tears, Jax pleaded, "Just please don't leave. Don't leave and don't see anyone else. Just give me the time I need to make this right. That's all I ask."

Anger filling her, Tara hissed, "I don't owe you anything, Jax! How fucking dare you ask me to put my life on hold for you! I don't owe you shit, Jackson! And you have no right to ask me for any of this!"

"Tara, -"

"NO! I don't want to hear it!" Letting her anger fuel her words, Tara seethed, "I don't owe you anything, and I'm not giving you anything. I'm going to do my best to be cordial for the sake of our boys, but that's it. I'm moving on with my life because I don't believe you when you say you'll change. You've made that promise too many times and broken it each and every one. You're full of shit, Jax, and I'm not putting up with it anymore!"

Standing her ground and reminding herself of all the reasons she couldn't allow herself to be sucked back into his bullshit, Tara finished, "You just—just stay away from me. Gemma can fill you in on the boys' schedules. You can pick them up from the hospital daycare on your days, and that way we won't even need to see each other."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

Hating to see Tara this hurt and angry, but unwilling to back down, Jax declared, "If you want to avoid me, I can't stop that, but you're out of your goddamned mind if you think I'm not going to do absolutely everything in my power to get you back."

Stepping forward while Tara retreated, Jax continued, "You don't have to believe me, Tara, because I'm going to prove it to you. I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me again, and I'm going to prove to you that I can change the Sons. If you want to keep running go right ahead, but don't be stupid enough to believe I won't be chasing you the entire time, because I will be."

Holding her gaze, Jax vowed, "I'll follow you anywhere you go, Tara. I'll chase you to the ends of the fucking earth if I have to, but I will _never_ let you go. I will never give you up. I was a fucking fool to think it was the best thing for you before, and I'm paying for it now, but I refuse for this to be the end of us. This isn't the end of us."

"Jax, please don't—"

"Don't ask me for something I cannot give, Tara."

They stared at one another for a moment before Tara whispered, "Do whatever you want. You always do anyway, but don't expect me to wait on you. Don't expect me to put my life on hold in any way."

A dark expression appeared on Jax's face as he assured, "Tara, I'll put up with your anger and whatever distance you try to put between us while I make this right, but make no mistake that I won't allow anyone to come between us."

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that any man that steps to you is a dead man. This Men of Mayhem patch isn't for decoration, babe, and if I can kill for my club what do you think I'd do to any man that tries to take away the only woman I've ever loved?"

Tara stepped back, gasping, "You don't mean that."

"Oh yes I do," Jax promised, "I told you before that all that shit changed me, and it did. It changed me into a man that is willing to do anything to keep my family. To keep you with me and to keep you safe."

Stepping closer to Tara as she stared up at him in shock, Jax continued, "I'll prove myself to you as many times as you need me to in order to trust me again, Tara. I'll beg and plead and prostrate myself before you as often as I have to in order to win you back, but don't doubt for a second that I'll lay waste to anyone that tries to come between us. Any man looks at you, any man tries to touch you, any man tries to kiss you is a dead man, and I'll kill them a hell of a lot slower than I did Kohn. They'll die begging for mercy I'll never show them for trying to take you from me."

Holding her gaze with his own determined one, Jax finished, "I've hurt you, Tara, and the fact I've hurt you this badly breaks my heart, but it's only made me more determined to make amends. I'm going to fix this, Tara, because we are most definitely not done, and we _are_ meant to be. You are mine. You were always mine, and you will always be mine."

Tara held his gaze for a moment longer before spinning around and running back to the reception. She needed to say her goodbyes to Opie and Lyla and get the hell out of here. She couldn't stay here anymore. Not when she felt like she was coming apart at the seams. Too much was going on in her head. She needed to get away. She had to get away and think. Jax had twisted her up. Like he always did.

Jax watched her flee and let her go. He'd let her know of his intentions. He'd made sure she understood that he was going to get her back, no matter what it took. He needed to give her some time now, and he would. Especially since he was going to be pushing for huge changes in the club over the next few days. Changes he doubted Clay would be behind, but changes that had to take place, because Jax knew guns were going to kill Samcro, and he couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let that happen. He was going to save his family and his club. No matter what he had to do or who he had to go through to make it happen.


	4. Chapter 4

So the only story that anyone responded with was "The Long Road Home" by Jackal1973. I read it, and it is a very good story, but I don't think it is like mine at all. Other than Tara staying pissed at Jax and refusing to forgive him for Wendy and Ima (in that story she does know about Wendy), and keeping her distance I don't see any resemblances at all. And certainly not enough for people to think I copy and pasted that story and merely tweaked a few words before putting my name on it and calling it my own. I really don't see those few similarities as being plagiarism. Considering the fanbase, and how many of us here want to rewrite SOA, I can't believe that those plot points are so original that anyone who uses them must be copying others. So I don't think that was the story that everyone was hinting at. Is there another one? Someone suggested a story with a hospital locker room scene, but they didn't provide a name, and despite spending several hours combing through stories last night I haven't found it.

Still, I have decided to put this story on hold until I can get into contact with Jackal1973, find this other story many of you seem convinced I stole and speak to it's author, and touch base with Fanfiction admin about all of this. I hate to think anyone believes I'm plagiarizing someone else's work, so this will be the last chapter until I can get this matter resolved. I thought about taking it down, but then decided I should leave it up for comparison sake. Hopefully this will all be taken care of quickly and I can go back to updating daily. I will say this story will eventually be a happy ending, but Jax is certainly going to have a very hard go of it before then. A very hard go.

Also, I hated what happened to Opie in the show so be assured he definitely gets a happy ending. My story is about happy endings all around. It's just going to take some time to get there.

Chapter 4

Tara wiped furiously at the tears still falling from her eyes as she neared the edge of the woods. She knew there was no hope of composing herself enough to fool people into thinking she hadn't been crying, but she didn't want to return to the party still sobbing. After checking to make sure Jax wasn't following her she leaned against a tree and took deep gasping breaths to try and staunch the flow of her tears and regulate her breathing as she thought to herself, ' _Fucking Jax! Why does he have to make this so hard? It could be so much easier! We could work out a custody agreement and barely have to see each other! We could both just move on!_ '

While the thought of moving on from Jax broke something inside of Tara, she knew it was the only way. She couldn't be what Jax needed, and he couldn't be what she needed. He needed a woman like Wendy, like Gemma, hell even like Ima. One that wouldn't mind when he "fucked up" and slept with someone else as long as he came back to them. One that wouldn't mind getting into a catfight with some unnamed woman before giving Jax a pass. He needed a woman that coveted being the next queen of Samcro more than she wanted to be his wife, because the truth was Jax wasn't a one woman man. He wanted to be. He tried to be, but in the end his dick would always wander, and Tara just couldn't live like that. She needed a man that would be faithful to her, and he needed a woman that was capable of turning a blind eye. So they both needed to move on.

' _But how can I move on with Jax telling me he loves me, that he'll kill any man that comes near me, that we're meant to be together? How can I move on when he looks at me like I'm the only girl in the world? When he tells me he'll follow me to the ends of the earth? Fucking Jax and his fucking promises and stupid fucking deep eyes and just fuck him!_ '

Tara hated that Jax was saying all of these things to her now, that he was fighting so hard for her now, that he was making these beautiful promises that filled her with hope she didn't want now. Now! Why fucking now! After she had worked so goddamned hard to build a life without him! Why couldn't he have said any of these things to her after Abel was taken? Why couldn't he have looked at her like she was the only girl for him, like her mere presence could soothe any hurt, provide all comfort, when she'd been so lost and afraid when Abel was missing?

Why couldn't he have said these things when all she had wanted to do was hold tightly to him and relieve the pain she knew he was feeling because she was feeling it too? Why couldn't he have grasped for her, reached so desperately for her with those pleading eyes when she'd spent every night crying herself to sleep when Abel was gone? Worrying that Jax hated her for not being able to save their son? Worrying that he blamed her as much as she blamed herself? Why couldn't Jax have said these things when she'd needed him so fucking desperately? Why couldn't he have said and done these things then? When it would have meant everything to her, when it would have solidified her faith in trust in him? When it would have saved them!

' _But he didn't_ ,' she thought to herself with growing resolution as she forced down the aching mountain of grief inside her that Jax had forced her to confront. ' _He didn't say these things then. He said I wasn't his family, that he and Samcro weren't my family, that_ _ **Abel**_ _wasn't my family. Instead of telling me he needed me, that we were fate, that I was it for him, his only future, he told me he didn't want me, that we didn't belong together. And when I caught him with Ima? He said nothing. Did nothing. Didn't even try to stop me from walking away from him then, so fuck him, and fuck his stupid meaningless promises_!'

Grasping tightly to her anger to stave off her pain Tara thought, ' _Jax is great at making his grand and promising speeches when things are going his way, when the world isn't actively kicking our asses, but when things get bad? He's proven to me too many times that he just can't be trusted. He crumbles under pressure and does whatever makes him feel better, and I can't live like that._ '

"Fucking Jax. Stupid fucking Jax," She muttered as she did her best to dry her eyes and compose herself enough to return to the party to say her goodbyes and then run like hell. She wanted to get home and crawl into bed and bawl her eyes out. And she would. She just needed to hold onto her anger long enough to get home before breaking down.

After a few more minutes Tara knew she looked as good as she was going to get and made her way out of the trees towards the lights of the reception. She made a beeline for Opie and Lyla where the couple was dancing slowly. She hated to interrupt them, but she didn't want to just leave without saying goodbye either.

Tapping Opie on the shoulder she offered him and Lyla a fake smile as she said, "I'm headed out guys. I just wanted to say goodbye and congratulations."

Seeing Tara's red eyes, seeing her obvious distress, Opie asked, "You ok, Tara?" His eyes quickly scanned the area for Jax, but he didn't see him, and he figured his brother was off somewhere licking whatever wounds Tara had inflicted.

A few traitorous tears slipped down her cheeks as Tara whispered, "Not yet, but I will be."

"Tara, if you want me to come with you I will," Lyla offered. She hated seeing this strong woman, a woman she had come to admire and respect so much, looking so lost and broken. Tara had truly become in her best friend over the last year and a half, and she wanted to help her.

"No, no don't do that." Tara felt awful that she was putting a damper on Opie and Lyla's big day, but there was no help for it. "I'm sorry my drama is ruining your wedding. If you want to make me feel better promise you two are going to enjoy the rest of your party and then head out to have a whole night of mind blowing sex."

Opie and Lyla both laughed at Tara's meager attempt to lighten the mood, before Opie offered, "I'll kick his ass for you if you want me to. Can't do any permanent damange, Gemma would kill me, but I can certainly make him walk with a limp for a few weeks if it would make you feel better."

Tara grinned up at the big man that was the closest thing she had to a brother, and replied, "That's sweet, Op, but not necessary. I think we're both hurting enough as it is. Just—take care of him. Don't let him do anything stupid that gets him killed or back in jail. Our boys need their father."

"I will, Tara." Bending down Opie kissed her cheek and whispered, "No matter what I'll be here for you. Never doubt that."

"Thank you." With a small wave Tara headed away from the newlyweds and made her way towards Clay and Gemma who had her boys. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her but she paid them no mind.

As Tara headed towards them, clearly very upset, Gemma whispered to her husband, "Looks like Jax fucked it up again."

"We knew it was going to get worse before it gets better," Clay added.

As Tara came to stand before the people she had once hoped to call her in-laws she said, "I'm going home. Gemma, you have the diaper bag and everything the boys should need is in there. I'll be by to pick them up tomorrow. It's Friday so I have the day off. Just give me a call and let me know when would be a good time."

"Tara, baby, are you ok?"

Gemma had rarely seen Tara cry, because Tara hated letting anyone see her weak. So she knew the fight that had taken place between her and Jax must have been brutal. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No, no that's ok. I'm fine. I just need to go. I'll see you tomorrow." Leaning down Tara kissed both her sons who had fallen asleep in their Grandma and Grandpa's laps, which she was thankful for. She didn't want either of them to see her this upset. Without a word to anyone else she turned and headed from the party, keenly aware that everyone was watching her. She hated how her pain was on display like this, but it really couldn't be helped.

After Tara left Opie looked at his new wife and asked, "Do you mind? I need to go check on him."

Lyla, loving how Opie cared so much about his friends, loving that she had married such a good man, said, "No. I don't mind at all. Go check on him. I'm just going to drag your father away from the bar before he drinks all the Tequila."

"Good luck with that," Opie laughed as he left his new wife and headed into the woods to find Jax. It took him a little while, even with the full moon, to find his brother sitting against a tree smoking a joint with silent tears slipping down his cheeks.

Opie didn't say anything. He knew Jax would talk when he was ready. Instead he took a seat beside his best friend and accepted the joint when Jax passed it to him. For the next half hour they sat in silence, smoking together while staring off into the night.

Jax appreciated the silent support Opie offered him and used the time to compose himself. He'd held himself together during the altercation with Tara, but once she'd left? He'd totally lost it. Hearing that she was afraid to love him, afraid to _be_ loved by him broke something inside of him. Loving Tara was the most natural thing in the world for him. His love for her had always been as easy for him as breathing. Wanting her, needing her, dreaming of her, all of it had come as easy to him as greeting the sun each day. Now? Hearing Tara tell him that she no longer wanted a future with him because she was afraid of his love truly devastated him, and it made him afraid. Afraid he couldn't make this right.

After awhile Jax whispered, "You know I was pissed at her for the longest time. When she left."

"I know, but she came back." Opie very easily remembered what Jax had been like over a decade ago when Tara packed her few bags and left their small town for a better life. Jax had pretty much gone into self-destruct mode. Drinking himself into a stupor each night, and running straight into danger on every run they made time and again. Opie and the others had pulled his ass out of the line of fire more than a few times before Jax had finally made peace with the fact Tara was gone, but Jax had never been the same. He'd never let himself get close to anyone after that, and more than once over the years Opie had found Jax in his room staring at the pic of him and Tara on his bike when they were 16. So Opie knew that Tara had never truly left Jax's thoughts, let alone his heart, but when she came back? It was like Jax found a part of himself that had left with Tara. He smiled again. Not the easy smirk he gave to whatever girl he was hooking up with that night, but real and true smiles, and Opie had been glad for him. It's why he hoped to God that his brother was able to fix this, because if Tara was really and truly done with him Opie didn't think Jax would survive it.

Opie was pulled out of his thoughts when Jax continued, "But when she came back all of that anger disappeared, because I figured out it was supposed to happen that way. She had to leave so she could come back."

Opie didn't know what Jax meant and asked, "What do you mean?"

Giving his friend a smile while tears continued to slip down his cheeks, Jax explained, "She had to leave so she could come back and save Abel. I get it now. I have no doubt that Abel would have died if Tara hadn't been the one working on him. I know he only lived because _Tara_ was working on him. She was the only one that could have saved him. Her love and determination saved him. Not any of that fancy medical training she got. Her. Just her. She's the reason he's still here."

Opie could do little more than sit in silence as Jax poured out some of his deepest and most private thoughts about the woman he loved, and he wished that Tara was here to hear this. She needed to hear this. She needed to know how she had changed Jax, needed to know what she meant to his brother.

As Opie stared at him in growing wonder, Jax went on, "She held his heart in her hands you know, when they were fixing it. When we first got back together she told me she actually held his little heart in her hands. It was amazing to me. Listening to her tell me how she made Abel's heart strong with all the skills she got while she was away. With her own two hands she fixed my boy's heart and made it beat again. Made it beat strong. She told me she fell in love with him then, that in that moment he became her son. So I let all my anger go at her leaving me back then, because I realized it was fate. It was fate for Tara to leave and become the world class surgeon she is so she could come back here and save my boy, so she could save me. So she could save all of us really."

Looking at his brother, Jax continued, "Because when Tara came back it was like everything became clear to me. I could see the problems with Samcro, and could see that it was time for shit to change. Everyone thinks having Abel is what twisted me up and got me to question shit, but it wasn't. It was seeing Tara again. Seeing how she had changed into this incredible person. She was no longer the girl that left town with two bags, a piece of shit car, and nothing but a dream. Because she did it, man. She made her dreams come true. She came back a woman grown. A woman that had achieved so much despite coming from nothing."

Pulling out another joint Jax lit it and took a drag before passing it to Opie as he continued, "And all I could think is what the fuck have I done with my life? Tara left town with basically nothing. No friends, no family, and little in the way of money, and she came back a fucking neonatal surgeon, bro. She did it. She had all this shit to show for the past ten years of her life and what the fuck did I have? Nothing but more debt than savings, a tiny little house I could barely afford and didn't even live in, my bike, my kutte, and a kid on the way with a junkie. She made me ashamed of myself."

Opie stayed silent as Jax continued to pour his heart out, and he couldn't help but be in awe of his friend as Jax continued, "She not only makes me want to be a better man and a better father, but she makes me want to be a better Son. She's the reason, Opie, the reason for everything."

"What are you saying, brother?"

His expression hard, and his eyes filled with determination despite the tears, Jax declared, "It's time to change things, Opie. Time to change everything. The Sons were always meant to be better than we are, and we will be. I'm going to make Samcro something Tara will be proud to be a part of. And I'm going to be the man she deserves. I'm going to be a man worthy of standing next to her, but I need your help."

"You've got it. You'll always have me at your side, brother."

"Good, because I intend to hit the ground running come daylight, and Clay is definitely not going to like what I have planned, but it needs to be done. Not only to save Samcro from itself, but because I owe this to Tara. I owe her so fucking much, and as things stand she's right, I'm not good enough for her, but I will be. I'm going to be everything she fucking deserves. _Everything_."

"What's your plan?"

As Jax began filling him in on all the plans he'd been making while inside Opie could only sit there in shock. Listening to Jax's ideas on the new direction he wanted to take Samcro in he could only think, ' _Can we actually pull this off?_ '

…

…

…

Later that night Clay fell into bed beside Gemma with a yawn and said, "Long fucking day, baby. Long fucking day."

Curling into Clay's side as he wrapped an arm around her, Gemma agreed, "Yes it was. Things with the Russians go ok?"

"Definitely. Putlova paid for what he did to our boy, Gem, no doubt about that."

"Good." When Gemma had gotten the awful call that Jax had been shanked in prison, even if it was a superficial wound as the Russian's were only sending a message and really trying to kill her son, she had been terrified and then beyond livid. She'd made sure Clay unerstand that retribution was to be brutal and without mercy. She'd agreed to wait until they were out, but she would not support any plan that did not involve the man who shanked Jax dying, and the man who'd ordered it as well.

Still, all was not yet right in her world and Gemma said, "But t his shit with Tara is bad, baby."

"Yeah it is, but you gotta admit it's worked in our favor in a big way. If Tara had forgiven Jax she might have found those fucking letters in his bag instead of you, and then where would we be?"

Gemma couldn't help but shudder at the notion of how bad things could have gone if Tara had been the one to find Maureen Ashby and John Teller's love letters instead of her. She could still remember that day cleary, and the fear she'd felt when she had first realized how damning the letters were and just what kind of fallout her family could have faced in the wake of them. Thankfully though, after getting off of house arrest she was the one to get her hands on them as Tara still refused to enter Jax's house.

FLASHBACK:

"Jesus Christ this place needs a good airing out," Gemma muttered as she began throwing open the windows and doors to her son's house. She had just gotten off of house arrest the week before, and after reestablishing her presence at the clubhouse she had spent most of her time just enjoying being out. She had lunch at the hospital with a very pregnant Tara and Abel every day, and visited some of the other old ladies, and things such as that, but when Tara had offered to let her have Abel on Tuesdays and Thursdays, hinting those would be Jax's custody days when he got out, Gemma had accepted. She knew Jax would find a way to win Tara back, and she figured these would end up being her Grandma days once the two patched things up.

Still, she knew it would take awhile for Jax to get Tara to forgive him, and she knew Abel and the new baby would end up spending quite a few nights at their father's house on the nights he had them so she wanted to get Jax's place back in order. She figured on at least one of her nights each week she would sleep with the boys at Jax's so they wouldn't find it unfamiliar when he got home. So here she was cleaning up. Gemma of course made sure her son's mortgage was paid each month, but she had only turned the water and electric back on a few days before, and no one had actually been inside the home since Opie and Lyla got everything Tara was going to need to keep Abel while Jax was in prison and locked the place up a few weeks after they all went inside. So the place was dusty as hell.

After spending a few hours dusting and vacuuming the main living areas of the house Gemma made her way back into her son's room. She gathered up all his bedding for a thorough washing and stacked it in the laundry baskets she put in the hallway before heading for her son's closet. He had a bad habit of dropping his dirty laundry on the closet floor, and some of his clothes would need to be washed before he got back. She also needed to check on his kutte and make sure it was ready for him.

Spotting his full backpack from Ireland that had a definite odor to it even now, she rolled her eyes and opened it up to begin pulling out all his dirty clothes from their trip to save Abel. She was surprised when a bundle of paper and envelopes fell onto the floor when she pulled out a wad of boxer shorts. "What the fuck is this?"

Grabbing the stack Gemma moved to the bed and pulled open the string binding the letters. As she began to read terror seized her. "Oh my fucking God," Gemma muttered. She read through each damning letter before coming to the end and growling, "Fucking Irish gash!"

Her terror was quickly turning to fury as she strode purposefully from the bedroom towards the kitchen. Dropping the letters into the sink she started pulling open drawers and rummaging around until she spotted the package of lighters Jax always had on hand. Pushing aside the carving fork she snatched it up and tore open the back to pull one out.

In moments the pile of letters were burning up in the sink. Gemma stood there until they were just ashes before turning on the water and watching as the only remnants of the letters that could destroy her world were washed away. When that was done she sat down at the kitchen sink to smoke a joint and figure out what to do. If Maureen had sent those letters what else might she do? The woman obviously knew enough to cause problems. How to fix this without making it into a bigger problem than it currently was?

Finally Gemma decided to go at Maureen head on. Taking a drag on her joint she pulled out her prepay and quickly called the clubhouse in Belfast. She told the girl that answered that she was an old lady in Charming and needed to speak to Maureen as soon as possible. She told the girl to have Maureen call her back from a secure line and gave her her prepay number.

After sitting there for a few moments Gemma heard, "Hello? This is Maureen."

"It's Gemma."

There was a moment of silence before Maureen asked, "And why are you calling me?"

"Found your letters."

When Maureen didn't reply Gemma said, "Maureen, I was under the impression all that shit was behind us. I thought we came to an understanding when me and mine were there?"

In Belfast Maureen couldn't help but hiss, "An understanding about what you did? You thought I had just let it go?"

"I did, but apparently you haven't."

"No, I haven't. Jax needs to know the truth."

"And what truth is that?"

As Maureen was alone in her office, and there was no one to hear, she stated, "That you and Clay murdered his father."

"Did we?" Taking another hit of her joint, Gemma continued, "Maureen, I'm not going to deny that I wanted John dead. I knew he was planning on taking Jax and leaving town, and I wasn't about to let that happen, but I never got the chance to kill him. He was in the accident before I could."

Tears filling her eyes at the thought of her lost love, Maureen asked, "You really expect me to believe it was an accident?"

"Do you know something I don't?"

"You know Clay caused that accident, Gemma!"

"Probably, but I've never asked if he did and I don't intend to. John is dead, Maureen, and he's not coming back."

"All the more reason Jax deserves to know the truth."

Eyes narrowing, Gemma vowed, "You want truth? Where here's a truth for you, Maureen, I'm a very dangerous woman."

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm promising you that if you try to take my child from me I will do everything in my power to take yours from you."

When Maureen didn't respond, Gemma continued, "You're fucking with my family, bitch, and you know what I do to people that fuck with my family.

The way you love Trinity? Well that's the same way I love my boy, and I won't let anyone take him from me. And if they try? I'll hurt them as badly and as deeply as I can. You look at your daughter, Maureen, you think of all the ways I can have her hurt even from all the way across the world, and then you decide if you want to take this further."

Maureen stiffened in Belfast, her heart beginning to race. She more than anyone knew just how dangerous Gemma Teller Morrow could be, even half a world away. She knew how vicious the woman could be when it came to her family and club, and because of it Maureen knew she needed to let it go. As Gemma had said John was dead, and he was never coming back, but Trinity was here. Trinity was her piece of John that she would always have, and because of that she swore, "It's over, Gemma. I won't ever come at you again. Our John is dead, as you said. You stay away from my Trinity and I'll steer clear of your boy."

"Smart woman." Gemma hesitated for a moment, before that softer part of her, the part of her that had awakened after her attack, continued, "You should know he never loved me the way he loved you. Not even in the beginning. What he felt for you? It was real. All we ever were was a dream, and in the end a nightmare. We were never real. Not like him and you."

Her heart hurt at the thought of the man she had loved so much, but Gemma's words had Maureen pausing. She would be lying if she had said she'd always been so sure of John. The truth was there had been a time or two when she had wondered if she was simply an escape for him. If he was more in love with the idea of her and the future she could provide than her as a person. Still, Maureen asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because while I don't care for you, Maureen, I do owe you. You helped me save my grandson, and I know you did it because of John, so I owe you this. So here it is—John loved you. If you ever doubted it, ever wondered if you were just the latest distraction, then don't. You were real for him. Everything he said in those letters to you, all his love for you, it was real, because even at our best he never said any of that to me. Not once."

Maureen couldn't stop the sob that escaped her before she covered her mouth quickly and moved the phone away so Gemma wouldn't hear her. The woman had seen her weak too often. When she had control of herself she whispered, "Thank you, and know I'll never speak of this again."

"Neither will I. Goodbye Maureen Ashby."

"Goodbye Gemma Morrow."

Gemma hung up her phone and took a final drag of her joint before stubbing it out so she could get back to cleaning. While she probably shouldn't trust Maureen she did. The woman would let the past stay dead and buried. Like her she had her eyes on the future.

END FLASHBACK:

Shaking herself out of her memory, Gemma said, "I am glad I found those letters before anyone else, Clay, but that doesn't mean I'm happy with how things are between Jax and Tara. He needs her."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that."

"She was there for me, Clay. After the rape Tara was all I had."

Wincing at the reminder of how blind he'd been to his wife's pain, Clay soothed, "Hey, baby, no she wasn't. You had me. You know if I had known—"

"Shh, baby, I know that now. I was just hurting so fucking much back then to see it. It's past us."

Looking down at his wife, Clay asked, "Is it? Are you really ok? We don't talk about it much."

Smiling up at her husband, Gemma assured, "I don't need to, as I said, Clay, Tara was really there for me. And once you guys knew? The way you responded? That was all I needed to get passed it."

Remembering how Clay had taken her on her office desk, still looking at him like she was beautiful and perfect despite it all, had healed something in her. Leaning up to kiss her husband, Gemma added, "You're all I need, baby, you and your love."

"Well you got it, Gem, you'll always have it."

"Good. Now what do we do about Tara and Jax?"

"Not much we can do. It's up to him now. He's the one that hurt her. He's got to be the one to heal her. We just got to let her know that no matter what happens between her and Jax we're still here for her. She's Samcro now."

"Hell yeah she is."


	5. Chapter 5

Not any Jax/Tara in this chapter, but next chapter will really make up for it.

Also, I have reached out to the authors of the stories others said mine resembled, and I am certain now that my story resembles theirs in no way. I haven't gotten a response from FF admin, but I am comfortable with the fact my story is original in it's own right. As we are all rewriting the show here, certain plot points are going to be used frequently, and while I have a few of them in my story, I have more that I believe are original. With that in mind I'm considering the matter resolved. Hopefully the issue is over and done with.

In case anyone is wondering here is what I envision Tara's house to look like. Apparently we can't post links directly on this site, so just replace actual periods and this should take you to the webpage that has a picture of the house. It is the fifth house picture labeled "Farmhouse Country-Style Plans".

blog/country-home-plans/

Chapter 5

Sliding into the truck beside Clay Jax did all he could to contain his fury. He'd known that Clay was keeping something from him. The old man had obviously been planning something huge on the inside, just like him, but he'd never expected this. The meeting with the Mayans and Romeo had completely blindsided him. While Jax was onboard with selling them guns, as it was part of his own plans to steer the club in a new direction, he had never dreamed Clay would agree to mule for them. Especially without clearing it with the rest of the club.

Before Clay could start the truck and head them out of the junkyard, Jax turned to him and asked, "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Clay, knowing he had to get Jax on board with his plan in order to get the vote passed at the table, replied, "No. I'm doing what I have to, Jax. We need this deal. We needed the cartel's backing in order to go after the Russians for what they did to you, and this was the only way."

"That's bullshit, Clay. This isn't about me getting attacked in prison or getting payback for it. This is about you cashing out at the expense of the club, and correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the exact same shit you pushed a brother off the roof for in Belfast?"

"It's not that simple, Jax."

"Obviously, so why don't you tell me what the fuck is really going on in that head of yours that you actually thinking Samcro mulling coke for a cartel is a good idea?"

Releasing a deep breath, Clay laid it out. "I got no choice, son. These last few years? They've wiped us out. You've got time to rebuild. Me and Gem? We don't."

Indicating his hands, Clay said, "I've got a year, two at most before they go, and then what? I've got a little over 17k in cash hidden, and barely 20 grand in our bank and saving accounts. Other than that we've got nothing. We haven't even paid off the house. If I don't make bank in the next few years I won't be able to take care of your mom when I step down."

His anger lessening somewhat, Jax replied, "And I get that, but this isn't the way, Clay. Samcro doesn't mess with drugs. We never have and we never will."

"Jax, there's no other way. We have to do this. Galindo won't make the deal unless they can push coke as well. The guns and coke go hand in hand. We either mule or they walk away, and if they walk away we got nothing. Not to mention our truce with the Mayans will probably fall apart as well and we definitely can't afford another war right now."

"Clay, I'm not signing off on this, and other than Tig you won't get any support from the rest of the guys either."

"Jax, I need you to help me with this," Clay implored. Looking straight into his stepson's eyes as he pleaded, "If you don't back me, you're right, the rest won't either. And if this falls apart I got no idea how we're going to survive, let alone rebuild from what the past few years has done to us."

"Well then I guess it's a good idea that I've got a plan. A plan to rebuild, and to get us out of guns for good."

Rolling his eyes, Clay admonished, "Jax, don't tell me your back on that shit? I know you got all twisted up when Abel was born and stopped thinking straight, but I thought after Zoebelle you'd found your way again."

"You're right. I did. I started seeing things very clearly, Clay, and I realized that Samcro has to get the fuck out of guns before it kills us."

"Jax, we can't—"

"I'm not doing this anymore, Clay."

Something about Jax's tone made Clay pause and he looked closely at the man he considered his son, really and truly looked at him, and what he saw there had him hesitating. There was something different in Jax's eyes. Something that made Clay's blood run cold as he asked, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Refusing to look away from Clay's demanding gaze, Jax explained, "I love my club, Clay. I'd die for each and every one of my brothers. Samcro? It's in my blood. It's where I come from. It's been my home, my world, for over 30 years, but I can't do this anymore."

"I don't understand."

"As much as I love Samcro, Clay, I love my family more, and I'm not going to make them stay in a world where our enemies gang rape our women and kidnap our children. I just can't. Samcro has to change, because if it doesn't…"

When Jax hesitated Clay found himself pressing, "If it doesn't?"

"I'm gone." At Clay's shocked expression, Jax continued, "If Samcro doesn't leave guns, then I'm packing up my family and leaving Samcro. I'll drive them right out of Charming and never look back."

As Clay gaped at him, Jax promised, "You either help me to take the club in a new direction or when we leave here I'll drop my kutte off at the clubhouse, go get Tara and my boys, and we'll be gone by tomorrow."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious."

"What the fuck would you do? You got no real education, no real skills. All you've ever been is outlaw."

"I don't know what I'd do, but I know I'd rather be flipping burgers or delivering newspapers than willfully putting my family in danger day after day. I don't want to leave, Clay, the thought of blacking out my ink and taking off this kutte forever breaks my heart, but the alternative? Sacrificing my family? I can't do it. It would kill me to lose them. I wouldn't survive it if anything happened to Tara or my boys."

When his stepfather remained silent, Jax continued, "Clay, I know you're against the Sons leaving guns, the empire you've spent 20 years building, but we've got no choice. Guns are killing us. It's time to let it go. Our enemies get more dangerous every year. Not to mention the list of them gets longer and longer. Too many people want to control our pipeline, and the heat with the law? It's getting to be too much. A few more major gun incidents in this country and dealing in illegal firearms is going to be classified as a terrorist crime. Meaning no more warrants or flashing lights or tidy little police raids. If the government classifies the dealing of illegal arms as a terrorist act we won't have fancy lawyers or loopholes in the law to hide behind anymore. It will be black SUV's pulling up to our houses at night and carting us off to Guantanamo for us never to see the light of day again. It's time to get out."

Shaking his head, Clay refused, "Jax, I think you need some time. Being inside gets us all turned around. Trust me, I know. You just need some time and then you'll see that you're overreacting. The shit that went down with Zoebelle was awful, but we came through it."

"Clay, look at me."

When his stepfather met his gaze again, Jax vowed, "I'm not turned around. I'm thinking clearly for the first time in a long time, so you need to believe me when I tell you I'm done with guns. So you think long and hard about this. You either help me turn the Sons around, help me put them on a different path, or I'm gone. I will take my family and get the fuck out of here. And believe me when I say we will _never_ come back."

Seeing how serious Jax was, Clay tried one last time, "And what about your mom?"

"She's welcome to come if she wants, but if she tries to stop me from saving my family I'll run her ass over."

Looking deep into Jax's eyes and seeing the steel in his gaze, Clay said, "You're serious."

"I am." Wanting to make his stepfather understand, Jax said, "I can't do this anymore, Clay. _We_ can't do this anymore. Guns are killing this club. Times have changed, and it's time we change with them. I've got a plan, Clay, it won't be easy, but it can be done—but only if you help me. I know I can't do it on my own. I need you to help me save Samcro, Clay, because if you don't I'll have to chose between saving my club or saving my family, and there's only one possible outcome in a situation like that."

Seeing Jax's expression, so determined and yet so fearful at once, Clay finally accepted that his stepson was serious. Unless he helped Jax take the club in a new direction, a direction that didn't include guns, he would pack his family up and leave town. He would leave Samcro. The boy was really ready to take his kutte off and leave if it came to it. While a large part of Clay was furious that Jax was backing him into a corner like this, another part, the part of him that loved this man as a son, was proud.

' _And there is no way I can let him leave. It will break Gemma's heart. Fuck it will break all our hearts if he leaves. And I don't want to lose my grandsons, or even Tara. I want to spend the rest of my life surrounded by my family, and if Jax goes our family will be torn apart. I can't allow that_.'

It was these thoughts that had him starting the truck and declaring, "Let's go get something to eat and you can fill me in on this plan of yours. It better be good, and I hope you've got some idea on how to pacify the Mayans and Galindo while keeping our asses safe from the Russians if they bail when we refuse to mule."

Relief surging through him as he realized Clay was going to help him, that he was agreeing to get the Sons out of guns, Jax said, "I've got a few notions, but I'm sure together we can come up with a better plan."

When Clay headed the truck out of the junkyard lot Jax couldn't help but feel hope rising within him. He had been so sure that Clay would be dead set against any plan that involved moving the club away from guns. He'd been so sure that he'd have to fight tooth and nail to get Clay to change, and he had even been prepared to make a move on the gavel if necessary to get the changes he felt Samcro needed to make. Part of him worried that Clay was just playing him, biding his time before doing his best to keep Samcro on the wrong path, but something about his step father's demeanor had him fairly certain Clay was really on board with this. Thankfully, because it truly would have killed a part of Jax to leave Samcro, but the alternative was much worse.

' _Because if anything happened to Tara or my boys I know I'd lose my fucking mind. I'd lose all will to live. I might make it long enough to get revenge, but I have no doubt I'd follow them. I couldn't stay here without them_ ,' he thought to himself, more determined than ever to save his family and his club.

…

…

…

A few hours later Clay and Jax sat at the table after revealing their plans to the rest of the club. After leaving the junkyard they had grabbed some burgers and spent nearly an hour tweaking Jax's plan to ensure that their peace with the Mayans would hold, Galindo would hang around long enough for them to transition the club into a new business, and that both organizations would have their backs if the Russians decided to seek payback for Putlova. When they were sure they had a solid plan they'd returned to the club and called all their brothers into church.

"So what do you guys think," Jax asked after Clay had finished detailing their plans to move the Sons into a new direction. He could see Opie grinning at him from the other end of the table as he'd been filled in on the plan the night before, but the rest of his brothers were sitting around the table in varying states of shock.

Finally Tig broke the uncomfortable silence by asking, "Are you two fucking serious?"

"Yeah, we are," Clay assured. The more he and Jax had talked the more he had come around to the ideas his stepson was pushing for. He wasn't entirely happy about leaving guns, the business he had built alongside Samcro for over 20 years, but the alternative was much worse. Because Clay believed Jax when he said he'd pack up Tara and the boys and leave Charming. That shit with Zoebelle and Abel had changed his son, changed him greatly, and Clay could see the boy meant it when he said he wouldn't sacrifice his family for his club. Jax was fully prepared to leave. Leave Charming. Leave Samcro. Leave him and Gemma, and if that happened? Clay knew the rest of his world would fall apart.

Gemma would be devastated and she would blame him. If she didn't outright kill him she would at the very least leave him. If he put making money over keeping Jax in Charming Gemma would not be able to forgive him, and there was no way he could lose her. No way. So he didn't have a choice but to support Jax. And if his plan worked? The Sons really would be set for life. Not to mention he'd receive a nice paycheck on a monthly basis for the rest of his days. A legitimate paycheck too. Once he stepped down club rules wouldn't allow him to make money off the illegal business Jax was planning to setup to keep the Sons an outlaw club that would hold their rivals off from making a play for their territory, but the legitimate streams of income Jax was determined they start bringing in would make sure he and Gemma were taken care of once he stepped down. It would make sure all the retired members and women and children of Samcro would be financially secure.

With that in mind he told his Sgt. at Arms, "Tig, it's time for shit to change. Jax is right. Guns are killing this club."

"Clay, I know the last few years were rough, but we made it out all right. And giving up guns? How the fuck can you two think that is a good idea? Samcro has run guns for over 20 years. It's what we do," Tig argued.

"Not anymore," Jax denied before looking at the rest of his brothers and continuing, "I know this sounds crazy guys, but I also know we can pull it off. It won't be easy, and the coming months are going to be full with a lot of unknowns and tough situations, but if we put our all into it we can do this. I know we can. And if we pull it off? We'll be making ten times as much as we make now, half of which will be legitimate income, and we'll be providing a safer world for our families."

Beside Jax, Bobby announced, "Your idea is crazy as hell, Jax, but it's solid. I'm in."

Tig gaped at his brother, "What the fuck, Bobby, are you serious?"

Nodding his head, Bobby agreed, "They're right, Tig, it's time for shit to change. When Jax first brought up trying to find a new way to earn a few years ago I wasn't into it, but since then? I have to agree that guns are killing this club. 20 years ago the arms trade was a different world. The rules were different, but now? The people wanting to take them from us are playing off of a new rulebook. A rulebook that allows them to hurt women and children without blinking, and I don't want to mess with that shit. Not anymore."

Looking around the rest of the table, Bobby said to his fellow Sons, "Clay and Jax are right. It's time to change. It's time for Samcro to move in a new direction. I'm a yes."

"Me too," Opie added from the end of the table. "I don't see why any of us should be fighting to stay in guns. It hasn't made any of us rich, and has brought more heat than gain. The only reason we've stayed in it this long is because it was the only way to hold onto our territory and to earn, but Jax's idea will allow us to keep other clubs and gangs away from our territory and allow us to make a hell of a lot more money than we've ever made in guns. We owe it to ourselves, to Samcro, and to our families to try this. So I'm a yes."

Clay nodded at Opie before looking at his fellow First 9 member and asked, "What about you, old man? Where you at in all this?"

Piney watched as all eyes turned to him, and he took a moment to organize his thoughts, before he said, "I helped you build this club from the ground up, Clay. Came to this town with nothing but my kutte and my bike. Same as you. I've put my blood, sweat, and tears into this club time and again. All told I've spent 13 years behind bars for Samcro. I helped you build the gun business for over 20 years."

When Piney paused Jax began to worry that he was going to be a no, but the old man surprised them all by saying, "So I know more than most at this table how things have changed. Jax is right. Guns are killing this club. It's time to get out. I'm a yes."

Elbowing Miles beside him, Opie asked, "What about you, newbie?"

"I'm a yes." Miles wasn't entirely sure Jax's plan would work, but Opie had sponsored him, helped him get patched, so he'd vote whichever way he did.

After that Clay turned to Chibs sitting beside Tig, who was looking more bewildered and angry by the moment as more and more of his brothers signed on to leaving guns, and asked, "How about you, Scotsman?"

"I'm a yes," Chibs answered. Grinning at Jax he added, "Your plan is all kinds of crazy, Jackie boy, but I think you're right. I think we can pull it off."

Jax nodded his head at Chibs, silently thanking the older man for supporting him, before looking back towards the end of the table at Happy and pressing, "You're next, Killer. What's your vote?"

"I'm a yes."

"Are you fucking serious?" Tig growled. Growing more outraged by the moment. "You?! You want to leave guns?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Happy replied, "I'm Samcro, brother. I don't care how we earn as long as we do, but I do care about keeping my club safe. Keeping my family safe. The shit that happened with Gemma and Abel? I don't ever want something like that to happen to our family again. Jax's plan will steer us clear of that kind of danger while allowing us to earn way more than we ever have, so I'm a yes."

Glaring at his fellow enforcer, Tig spat, "Never thought I'd see the day that the Killer would be scared."

Eyes narrowing, Happy hissed, "I ain't afraid to die, brother, and I'm sure as hell not afraid to get bloody, but the shit that's been happening? The shit with Gemma? If something like that happened to my mother I'd fucking lose it. I got no right putting her in that kind of danger. None of us should be putting our women or children in that kind of danger. Clay and Jax got a plan to keep us outlaw, allow us to make a shit load more money than we are making now, and get us the fuck away from these shitheads that got no problem hurting women and children. Why you fighting this?"

"Because Samcro runs guns! We've always run guns," Tig insisted.

"But it's time to change," Juice offered up softly. Hesitantly meeting Tig's eyes before looking at Jax and Clay and adding, "I'm a yes. You're plan is crazy, but I see how it can work. I really think we can make it work, so I'm a yes."

"I'm a yes too," Kozic announced from his place near the wall.

"Of course you are," Tig growled while glaring at the brother he loved to hate but had forged a shaky truce with.

Clay looked at his right hand man, and said, "Tig, you're the hold out. The rest of us are on board with this."

Looking around the table and seeing everyone's gaze on him, Tig glared at Jax and demanded, "And what if this plan doesn't work? What if we make all these changes to get out of guns and your plan falls apart? What then? We'll be sitting ducks. We'll have no way to earn and no way to protect ourselves. What's your big plan then, Jax?"

Shrugging, Jax replied, "Not sure what we'll do if that happens, but I'm pretty sure it won't. I'm not planning to fail, Tig."

"And if you do? If your plan fails and this club is really and truly looking down the end of a barrel?"

"Then you can rip this VP patch right off my kutte," Jax said, "but I'm not so afraid of failing that I'm not going to try for a better life for my club and my family. So I guess the question now is whether you are."

The room went silent as Tig and Jax starred each other down. Finally Tig shook his head and growled, "Fuck it. We'll try it your way, but if this all blows up in our faces I'm kicking your ass, Prince."

"And I'll bend over and let you do it," Jax laughed before nodding at Clay.

Bringing the gavel down, Clay announced, "Vote's in. Samcro is leaving guns."

There was a brief moment of stunned silence at the finality of Clay's announcement before Juice asked, "So what now? What's our move?"

"First thing is to go on lockdown," Jax answered, "until we know how this shit lands with Galindo and the Mayans and Russians we bring our women and children here. We're not going to leave them unprotected while shit is up in the air."

Nodding his head, Clay agreed, "That's right. Half of the shit that went down before we went in wouldn't have happened if we hadn't been so lax with security. The second Zoebelle rolled into this lot and pissed on our shoes we should have gone on lockdown. This club will never ignore a threat again. From now on we're going to be on the offensive when it comes to keeping our families safe. So new club policy is that as soon as there is a hint of danger we put our families on lockdown."

Looking at Piney he added, "You're in charge of security, old man. Get it setup. I want everyone here by the end of the day. Get a call into the Nomads too. We'll need the back up. Tig, you're on Gemma. She doesn't step foot outside of this clubhouse without you right behind her."

"And Happy you're on Tara," Jax insisted. "She's going to give you hell, but you don't let her out of your sight. Her or my boys. Not until shit settles."

Turning to Chibs, he asked, "You good with watching Lyla until Quinn gets here?"

"Of course brother." Looking down at Opie, Chibs promised, "I won't let shit happen to her or your kids, Op. You've got my word, brother."

"Thanks, brother," Opie said.

"Juice," Clay called, bringing the young man's attention to him, "you get on your computer and get started on that list. Load up on coffee, son, because you're going to need it. Hole up with that laptop of yours and don't come out of your room until you've got everything we're going to need. You clear?"

"Sure thing, Prez." Juice was eager to get started. He was really getting excited about this plan, and he was proud that so much of it depended on his skills. He was proud that he was going to be such an integral part of helping the Sons get on a new path.

Looking at everyone at the table, Clay said, "And the rest of you remember that each of you needs to bring two prospects to the club. You've got three months. Each and every one of us needs to bring two new prospects to this table. Time to build our numbers."

Clearing his throat, Bobby asked, "And we're still instituting the new rule that all new recruits have to put two years into prospecting before they can ever take part in club business?" That was part of the plan that Bobby was having a problem with. They'd never had such a long wait to start using new guys before. Half Sac had been taking part in club business after six months. Granted, not a lot of heavy jobs, but he'd certainly pitched in a time or two before his first year of prospecting was up.

Nodding his head, Jax insisted, "Yes. I did some research while inside, and apparently the federal government pulls the plug on any UC operation, or any nark if there is no progress after 18 months. I know it will be tough not using our prospects for that long, just having them do grunt work around here, but it will be worth it. Not only will it greatly reduce our risk of having an informant amongst us, but it will also allow us to make sure the new guys coming in are what we're looking for. If they can't do two years of grunt work for this club there is no way they could look at 20 to life in prison for Samcro."

"I hear that," Chibs agreed.

"Alright then," Clay ordered, "Kozic, you go with Jax and Opie to meet Charlie Horse. We're going to need a shit load more ammo if we're going to meet the Galindo needs until we make the transition. They want a shipment with our first delivery. The rest of you? You've got your marching orders. We go on lockdown right now."

As everyone stood from the table and headed out to put things in motion Jax turned to Clay and said, "You know Ma and Tara are going to pitch a fit about going on lockdown right?"

"Yep, and that's why I'm going to tell them it's your fault," Clay said with a grin.

"Going to throw me to the wolves, huh?"

"Damn right. When it comes to those two it's every man for themselves."

They both headed out of church laughing. It was a new day for Samcro. A new day and a new direction.


	6. Chapter 6

Longest chapter to date, and we finally get to hear Jax's crazy plan!

Now I'm going to try one more time to give you guys the pic of Tara's house. If it doesn't work then you'll really have to stick with your imaginations. So just remove the spaces and replace the.'s with periods. Remember, it is the 5th picture down labeled "Farmhouse Country Style Plans".

w (space) w (space) w (space).houses (space) .com (space) / blog/country-home-plans/

Chapter 6

Gemma saw Happy come marching out of the clubhouse, yelling over his shoulder that Tara was a crazy ass bitch, before remarking to Tig standing next to her, "Looks like Tara is still on the warpath."

"Yep. Poor Happy," Tig laughed while his eyes scanned the growing crowd of women and children filling the Samcro lot.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about now, Tig?" Gemma did not appreciate being in the dark. She certainly hadn't appreciated being dragged out of her kitchen earlier today by Tig who insisted she come to the clubhouse with the boys as they were going on lockdown. She definitely wasn't happy that she'd had to wake her grandsons up from their nap to haul ass here as Tig had insisted. After her talk with Clay last night she was under the impression that everything was ok, that their score with the Russian's had been settled and their new deal with the Mayans and selling guns to Galindo was in motion. So this was all pissing her off. She could only imagine what Tara was feeling.

"No can do, Gem. Clay's orders."

Staring down her friend Gemma pushed, "Tig, you're pissing me off."

Holding his hands up, Tig soothed, "Believe me, Gemma, this isn't my idea. Your husband and son got a notion to shake shit up, and I'm just following orders. Wait for them to get back and lay into them."

Their talk was brought to an end as Happy came up to them muttering about what a crazy ass woman Jax was infatuated with while glaring daggers at them. Grinning at him, Tig asked, "How are the ribs, brother? Eye's not looking too bad at all."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me Tara started taking Krav Maga, Gemma?" Happy was not too happy that no one had mentioned that to him before he showed up her new house to drag her ass here. When she had refused to come he had stupidly grabbed her arm and tried to drag her out, glad he'd brought the van for just that reason, but he'd realized his mistake very quickly.

He still didn't know how Tara had done it. One moment he'd had hold of her arm and was pulling her through her house, and the next second blinding pain was radiating from his ribcage before Tara's elbow caught him right in the eye. She'd had him on his ass a second later. He could only stare up at her in shock as she stood over him with her hands on her hips and demanded to know what the fuck was going on. As he had been under orders from his Prez and VP to keep quiet, Happy hadn't been able to tell her. Instead he'd told her that shit was going down and the club was going on lockdown. As soon as he'd divulged that Tig was gathering up Gemma and the boys too and getting them to the clubhouse Tara had cursed and run for her keys. He'd barely been able to keep up with her as she tore ass to the clubhouse to get to her sons.

Gemma, proud of the black eye that Happy was sporting along with the care he was showing his left side compliments of her future daughter in law, replied, "I didn't really think much of it when Tara told me she started taking lessons five times a week, figured it was just a way for her to burn off the baby fat, but now that I see how easily she handed your ass to you I'm thinking I might need to get into it myself. I wouldn't mind laying into you boys from time to time."

Her smile widening, she added, "And I want it to be a surprise, so neither of you are to mention shit to Jax either. I want him finding out about that little bit of news first hand."

The two men shared a grin, just imagining how shocked Jax would be when he pissed Tara off one too many times and she went all ninja on him, and Happy agreed, "No doubt, Gem. I can't wait to see that."

Tig, still in a bit of shock from hearing from Happy how Tara had laid him out in seconds, asked, "She really took you down before you knew what was happening?"

Nodding his head, Happy confirmed, "Damn right she did. One second I had a hold of her and the next I was on the floor with some bruised ribs and a quickly swelling black eye. She didn't even break a sweat. I didn't even really see her move, brother."

Happy's eyes took on a gleam as he added, "If Jax wouldn't kill me for even thinking about it I'd make a play for the Doc myself. Something about a woman that can throw a beating gets me excited."

"Yeah, well you just remember he isn't the only one that would kill you if you make a move on Tara," Gemma warned, making it clear she wouldn't stand for anyone trying to come between her son and the woman she was determined to call daughter.

"Damn right he's not," Tig added. While he bitched about her, Tig had come to think of Tara as a little sister. While he doubted his bond with her would ever be as strong as the one he shared with Gemma, it didn't change the fact that before he went in he had gotten close with the good doctor. Even if she and Gemma gave him hell all the fucking time, he loved them. They were his family, and he was just as eager as the rest of the club for Jax to patch up things with their dear doctor.

Holding his hands up, Happy promised, "I was just joking. I know Tara's off limits. Jax might as well have pissed on her the way he's made it clear she's his property."

"Damn right she is," Gemma agreed before heading for the clubhouse. She'd do her best to calm Tara down before the guys got back from whatever it was they were doing. The last thing any of them needed was a knock down drag out fight between Jax and his old lady when the guys got back. So she'd do the best to soothe Tara now.

When Gemma was gone Tig looked at Happy and suggested, "Maybe we should take a look at this Krav Maga shit."

"Hell yeah we should. I'm not getting beaten up by a girl again," Happy replied. "And if you tell anyone I did get beaten up by a girl I'll show everyone those pictures of our weekend in Mexico."

Glaring at his brother, Tig hissed, "You told me your burned that shit!"

"I lied," Happy laughed. "Besides, you look good in a dress."

"I nearly won that bet!"

"But you didn't, and that's why I have pictures of you looking mighty fine in that red sequin getup. One word to anyone about Tara knocking me around and everyone will see it."

"Mother fucker," Tig hissed before heading towards Piney. He'd check in with the old man and see where they were at with getting everyone here, and how long it would take to get the Nomads here.

…

…

…

A few hours later Jax, Opie, and Kozic came rolling into the club with the rest of the guys. They were lot a little banged up from their altercation with the Russians at the reservation, but nothing serious. Thankfully the Galindo boys had come barging in to save the day, but it only reaffirmed to Jax that it was time to get out of guns. Though there were no life threatening injuries, Jax did feel bad about the reservation guy the Russians had killed. Still, they had been able to save the women, and Charlie Horse seemed satisfied that he'd get a Russian to tear into for vengeance.

As he parked his bike he scanned the lot for Tara and his boys, but among the sea of women and children he didn't see his family and figured they must be inside. Seeing Lyla stomping towards them with a definite scowl on her face, Jax muttered to Opie, "Here comes yours. I'm going to go find mine and get my whipping over with."

"Coward," Opie teased before greeting, "Hey baby."

"Don't you hey baby me! What the fuck Opie!"

"Lyla, I can explain …"

Jax made his get away while his best friend tried to placate his new wife and headed into the clubhouse. He spotted Tara immediately. She was standing at the bar with his mother, looking so fucking hot in her tight jeans and off the shoulder dark red top, but from her posture he could tell she was pissed and he prepared for the inevitable blow up he was about to face. As he made his way towards her Happy stepped in his path and Jax's eyes widened at the black eye his brother was sporting.

"What the fuck happened to you, Hap?"

Glaring over his shoulder at Tara, who apparently hadn't noticed Jax's arrival, Hap growled, "Ask your old lady. All I got to say, Jax, is we better get this shit handled as quickly as possible, because I'm not putting up with your crazy ass woman for much longer!"

When Happy stalked off Jax could only stare after him in bewilderment before turning back towards his mom and Tara, both who were either ignoring him or hadn't noticed he'd arrived. He briefly wondered what Tara had done to Hap to give him a black eye before sidling up next to his woman and leaning down to whisper in her ear, "Hey babe."

Tara shivered as Jax's voice rushed over her causing heat to build in her belly, and she prepared herself to face him. She was going to give him hell for being out of jail less than 48 hours before putting her and the boys in danger again. Turning around to start shouting at him she was brought up short as she saw the cuts and bruises marring his skin and before she could stop herself she was reaching to take hold of his face as she gasped, "Jax! What happened? Where are you hurt?"

As Tara's hands began moving softly but purposefully over his body, searching for injury with her expert hands, Jax reveled in her touch. Her immediate reaction to his injuries proved to him that she still loved him as much as he loved her, and it gave him hope. ' _I'll get her back_ ,' he thought to himself before hurrying to assure, "I'm fine, Tara. Really, just a little roughed up."

Tara, still desperate to assure herself that Jax was ok, continued running her hands along his chest and torso, trying to see if there was anything more serious than he was letting on as she asked, "Are you sure? Maybe I should take you to the hospital to be safe? What exactly happened?"

Hands going to his head to check the small cut there and smooth over his scalp she found the large bump in the back of his head and insisted, "We're going to the hospital. You've got a huge bump on your head. There could be cranial bleeding."

Turning to look at Gemma she said, "Watch the boys, we'll be back."

Jax couldn't help but laugh, deeply touched and pleased by Tara's nearly frantic concern for him, before he pulled her hands from him. Holding her worried gaze he kissed her palms softly before pressing her palms to his chest and vowed, "I'm fine, babe. I promise. Just took a bit of a tumble. It's all good."

Staring up into Jax's eyes as he held her hands close to his chest in his much larger ones, she pressed, "Are you sure? I can get us in quick and run some tests off the books if you're worried about a long wait or this going on your insurance."

"Tara, I promise. I'm fine."

As Jax continued to stare down at her with those deep soulful eyes of his Tara suddenly became aware of the proximity of his body to hers, how intimate their position was. Forcing herself to pull her hands away from him and take a step back she stuttered, "Uh—o—ok then."

Saddened at Tara's forcing some distance between them, but finding her sudden shyness cute, Jax asked, "Where are the boys?"

"They're in Chucky's room. Taking a nap. Though it is about time for them to wake up. Thomas will need a feeding soon, and I'm sure Abel will need to be changed," Gemma offered, still smiling from what she'd just seen take place between her son and Tara. ' _He'll definitely get her back_. _She hasn't moved on a bit_ ,' she thought to herself.

Confused, Jax looked back and forth between Tara and his mom before asking, "Why the fuck are they in Chucky's room? Why didn't you put them in my room?"

Her fury quickly returning Tara glared at Jax and muttered, "Stupid fucking asshole," before storming off to go check on her boys. Ignoring her dumbass ex as he called after her.

As Tara pushed her way through the crowd towards the room the club had given Chucky when he'd become an official part of their little Samcro community after Tig had all but adopted the weirdo, Jax turned to his mother, who was scowling just as fiercely at him and asked, "What? What did I do? It was just a question!"

Putting her hands on her hips, Gemma hissed at her idiot of a son, "And why the hell would Tara want her boys in the same room you fucked that porn slut in?"

Eyes widening, Jax cursed, "Fuck! I'm such a fucking idiot!"

"No argument here." Gemma stared off after Tara before looking at her son and saying, "You better fix this shit, Jax, and you better fix it quick. I hate seeing her like this. She deserves better from you. So pull your head out of your ass and start thinking about how to get your old lady back!"

When his mother stomped off to no doubt make some crow eaters lives very uncomfortable Jax ran a hand over his face and cursed himself for being an insensitive prick. ' _How the fuck could I ask her something so stupid like that?_ ' Cursing himself for being such an idiot, especially since he'd ruined a great moment between him and Tara by reminding her about his betrayal with Ima, he headed towards Chucky's room. He and Clay had decided not to tell the women what was up until they had set more things in motion, but Jax decided he needed to fill Tara in now. She deserved to know why she was on lockdown, and perhaps hearing how he was actively moving the Sons out of guns would earn him a bit of forgiveness with his woman.

He was stopped on his way to Chucky's room several times by various family members and friends of Samcro who all wanted to know why they were on lockdown so it was about 15 minutes after Tara stormed away from him that Jax finally opened Chucky's bedroom door, and the sight that greeted him brought him up short.

Abel was on the floor of Chucky's room happily coloring in one of the educational coloring books his mother had provided him, and Tara was on the bed with Thomas. What had Jax standing there in silence, unable to move or speak, was the sight of his old lady, his beautiful Tara, breastfeeding his youngest son. He'd seen Tara feed Abel many times when he was younger, but it had always been with a bottle, so he was unprepared for the rush of emotion he felt at seeing his youngest boy nursing at Tara's breast as she smiled down to him, humming to him softly.

Jax could barely breathe, let alone move, as he stood there in silence watching the scene unfold before him. He couldn't even begin to describe the emotions racing through him as he simply watched Tara and Thomas. Seeing her feed Thomas at her breast, watching her nourish him from her own body, touched something in Jax. Something deep and sacred. He'd never gotten the chance to experience this with Abel. Wendy had been too cranked out to breastfeed, and as Tara didn't birth Abel her body hadn't been prepared to provide for him in such a way. He didn't doubt that Tara loved Abel every bit as much as she loved Thomas, but seeing this? Seeing Tara holding Thomas so close as she cared for him had Jax wishing more than ever that Tara had birthed his firstborn. He wished his oldest had been given the chance to experience these beautiful moments with Tara.

" _Beautiful_."

Looking up from Thomas, Tara's soft expression darkened as she saw Jax standing at the door. She was about to tell him to fuck off, but the look on his face stopped her. Jax was simply standing at the door, gaping at her, and she couldn't tell what was wrong. Looking around the room to see if there was something she had missed, something that would have Jax looking so dumbfounded, Tara finally turned back to him and asked, "What's wrong, Jax?"

Shaking himself out of his stupor Jax quickly came into the room and shut the door behind him. He moved towards the bed, his eyes never leaving the sight of Thomas suckling greedily at Tara's swollen breast, and tentatively took a seat next to her. "I—uh—I came to talk to you. Explain what's going on."

He was starting to freak her out. Jax looked so strange to her, and she couldn't decipher his expression. "What is wrong with you?"

Tearing his eyes away from the sight of Thomas feeding, Jax looked up into Tara's questioning gaze and whispered, "It's just—seeing you like this—it's beautiful. Fuck, Tara, you're so beautiful to me right now."

When Jax's gaze left hers and returned to Thomas nursing at her breast Tara finally realized why he was acting so strange. ' _He's never seen a nursing baby. Well if he has he probably never paid much attention to it, but it's different now that it's his own son, and Abel didn't get to nurse_ ,' she thought to herself. She hated it, really fucking hated it, but his awe at the sight of her breastfeeding Thomas touched a part of her. Warmed a part of her heart, and she pushed the feeling down ruthlessly. She couldn't let him get to her. Hadn't he just proven to her a minute ago that he was an insensitive bastard that didn't consider her feelings at all?

When Tara didn't reply, and instead returned her gaze to Thomas and proceeded to ignore him, Jax whispered, "I'm sorry for what I said outside. I'm an idiot."

"I already know that. It's why we're broken up."

Wincing at her cold reply, Jax pleaded, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Tara. I just—I say stupid shit sometimes."

Glaring up at him, Tara hissed, "No cursing in front of the kids!"

"Mommy, what does shit mean?"

Giving Jax a look that clearly said he was in more trouble before focusing on her oldest, Tara admonished, "Abel, baby, you can't say that word."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a grownup word."

Looking up from his coloring book, Abel pressed, "But what does it mean?"

"Poop. It means poop, and you're not allowed to say it," Tara insisted.

Abel giggled at his mother's explanation before going back to coloring. When his attention was off of them, Tara warned, "Jax, you'd better learn to watch your mouth around the kids. I mean it."

"I'm sorry. I'm still getting used to being out. I promise I'll do better," Jax soothed. He was doing his best to keep his grin off his face, but it was hard work. Seeing Tara like this, so comfortable and at ease being a mother to his children, made him deliriously happy. This here? Right fucking here? Was all he'd ever dreamed of or wanted. A family with Tara. Them together raising a pack of kids had been his dream for so fucking long. Even when she'd left him, even when he'd spent ten fucking years pining for her, he'd still dreamed they would end up like this.

' _And it's why I'm going to get her back_ ,' he swore to himself.

When Jax continued to sit quietly beside her, doing nothing more than staring intently at the sight of Thomas nursing, Tara whispered, "Would you stop staring? It's freaking me out."

"Sorry, babe, but I can't. This is beautiful to me. How long will he do this?"

Hating that his soft voice and awed expression was touching something inside her, melting her heart even a little, Tara asked, "How long will he nurse now or in general?"

"Both."

"Well the American Academy of Pediatrics and The World Health Organization recommend mothers nurse for the first year of life. I'm hoping to adhere to that. I'm going to do my best to let Thomas self wean, but with my schedule he might end up weaning sooner than that. As for right now he usually takes about 20 minutes."

"Oh."

They quickly feel into silence again, and soon enough Jax's eager gaze no longer bothered her and Tara focused back on Thomas. She even managed to ignore Jax as she switched Thomas to the other breast, soothing him when he got fussy at being pulled from the first, and simply enjoyed being in the moment. As much as Jax seemed awed by her breastfeeding Thomas so was she. The first time she'd brought him to her breast had been a life changing moment for her. Feeding him from her own body? It had been a feeling she couldn't even begin to describe, and she wished she had been able to experience this with Abel.

Far too soon for Jax's liking Tara was moving Thomas from her breast to her lap so she could adjust her top, hiding her beautiful and luscious breasts from his hungry gaze, before putting their youngest on her shoulder to burp him. He stayed quiet as she finished up her routine before saying, "I need to tell you what's going on."

"Yeah, I've got some things to say to you too," Tara all but growled. "You've been out less than two days and already we're doing this? Really, Jax?"

Wincing at the accusation in her tone, Jax pleaded, "Tara, please, just give me a chance to explain, and when I'm done you should be happy."

"I doubt it, but go get your mother or Lyla. They can watch the boys while we talk."

A few minutes later Tara was sitting on Chucky's bed while Jax sat opposite her on a chair after Gemma and Lyla took the boys so they could have some privacy. "Ok, so what the fuck, Jax? Why are we on lockdown?"

"Let me say first that it's just a precaution. As of right now there is no specific threat."

"Then why are we here?"

"Because," Jax explained, "Samcro learns from its mistakes. From now on we're going to make damn sure our families are safe."

"You just said there is no specific threat," Tara accused with growing worry. She was fully prepared to take her boys and flee if the need arose. She'd taken 100k from her aunt's inheritance and converted it to cash over the past seven months and it was in a go bag back at her house ready for her to take it and the boys and run.

"There isn't," Jax assured, "but we're making changes, and there could be blowback because of them. So we wanted to put our families on lockdown before we start making our moves."

"What kind of moves?"

Grinning, Jax announced, "We're leaving guns."

Eyes widening, Tara gasped, "What?"

Pleased by her shock, and eager to begin proving himself, Jax continued, "We voted on it this morning. Samcro is getting out of guns."

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. We've got a plan to transition the club into a new business venture. In six months time we should be making three times what we make now with only room to grow."

Fearing his words, Tara asked, "Jax, what are you doing? More money usually means more danger."

"Usually yes, but not this time. I'm pushing for the Sons to move into a business that will allow us to remain outlaw, allow us to hold onto our territory, and allow us to make bank, but remove all the danger and heat we get from guns."

When Tara simply continued to stare at him, Jax finished, "I know you'll probably be upset about it at first, but once I explain it all to you I hope you'll agree with me."

Eyes narrowing, Tara pressed, "Just spit it out, Jax."

"Pussy. We're going into pussy."

Fury rising, Tara hissed, "Of course you are! You know all about that don't you! It's right up your alley!"

Reaching forward to take Tara's hands, refusing to let them go when she tried to jerk away from him, Jax begged, "Please, please let me explain, Tara. Before you get all pissed just give me a chance to lay it all out."

When Tara remained stubbornly silent, Jax explained, "Tara, pushing pussy doesn't bring the kind of danger or threat from the law that guns do. No one goes to war over whores. We've got a plan to take over all the escort and brothel businesses for the greater California area and leave guns forever. We're also going to expand CaraCara. And we've got a plan to make sure the law never comes down on us, and even if it does the way we're going to setup will ensure if we do get caught they'll only be able to bring low level charges against us. Meaning no one will face more than a year or two in jail."

As Tara listened, Jax continued, "We're approaching the Mayans with a deal to let them take over our gun business in six months time after we get our pussy up and running. It's a solid plan. Since Sons in Belfast will still be transporting the shipments and dealing with the IRA to deliver to the Mayans it will keep Marcus from ever breaking our truce. If he ever turns on us his pipeline will dry up. So we won't need to worry about a war with them, and we're going to use their desire to take our gun business to get their backing when we make our move to take control of the pussy trade. With them supporting us, and our deal with the Niners we should be able to accomplish the takeover in a few months. Quickly and bloodlessly. Truthfully, we're hoping to buy out most of our competitors."

"You can do whatever you want with your whores, Jax, just keep me out of it."

At the disgust in her tone, Jax pleaded, "Tara, please understand I'm not doing this because I want all the girls I can get. I'm doing this because Samcro needs to remain outlaw to hold onto our territory. If we leave guns and go completely legit then rival clubs and gangs will eat us alive. They will swallow up our territory and drive us out. So we've got to remain outlaw. Going into pussy is the only way we can leave guns. I swear I'm never going to cheat on you again."

"As I said," Tara insisted angrily, "you can do whatever you want. I'm not interested in what you do. We're not together anymore and we're never getting back together."

Eyes narrowing, Jax demanded, "I don't want to hear that shit from you again, Tara. We are together. We're just on a break until I can get you to forgive me and trust me again."

Rolling her eyes, Tara scoffed, "Whatever."

Knowing it was going to take time and there was no point in arguing with her now, Jax pushed forward. "In addition to transitioning out of guns we're going to take steps to ensure the law stays off our backs, and gives us some more power to keep other clubs and rivals at bay. We want to take precautions that ensure others will think twice before fucking with us, and damn sure have them afraid to go near our families."

"What does that mean?"

Grinning, particularly proud of this part of the plan, Jax replied, "Right now Juice is compiling a list of all the shot callers in California. DEA, ATF, FBI, prosecutors, judges, senators, police chiefs, and so on. Anyone and everyone who has the ability to make shit happen in this state. He's finding them and digging as much shit up on them as he can."

"Why? What good will that do you?"

"Because we're going to get leverage on each and every one of them. And if they don't already have shit we can use against them we'll make some. Once we've got it we'll approach them and make sure they know we've got it. We'll make sure they understand that Samcro is not to be touched. They'll be told to never dig into us and if they know someone else is they're to give us a heads up. This won't happen quick or easy. It will probably take us a year or more to get everyone we're going to need in our pocket, but we're getting ready to start now."

At Tara's shocked expression, Jax continued, "That way we aren't ever be playing catch up. If anyone in law wants to come at us we'll already be getting phone calls from these people we intend to indebt to us warning us that shit is coming down. It will give us time to do what we need to do to avoid ever being arrested. Not only that but it will give us the ability to call in favors from powerful people, which will give us yet another means to control our territory and stay a major player. People will come to us for favors and information instead of guns and ammo."

When Tara continued to stare at him, Jax added, "And we're going to start bringing in legitimate income too. We have CaraCara, but I intend to set up two more businesses that will ensure retired club members, and all family of Samcro will be taken care of for life. That way even if our illegal streams of money go under for any reason our families will be taken care of. These businesses will be completely legit, so they can't ever be confiscated as part of a criminal investigation."

"What businesses?"

"Well besides porn, we're going to go into real estate and custom bikes."

"Are you serious?"

Nodding his head, Jax said, "We're going to start building custom bikes and use our weight to get them showcased in Biker, Easyrider, Motor Cyclist, American Iron, and so on. We'll also make sure we can get setups at Sturgis and other rallies. With our street cred we should be able to build up a solid customer base fairly quickly. I don't think it will take more than three or four years to turn Samcro Custom Bikes and Choppers into a complete success."

Really excited about this part of the plan, Jax continued, "You know Hap is a great artist, he usually does tattoos, but he's pretty sure he can design bikes too. So he's going to start drawing up some sketches right away for our guys in the shop to get building. We want to have a dozen custom bikes ready for the Sturgis rally this year. I want to launch there. I think if we have a big setup and roll in with at least a 100 of our fellow brothers from other charters it will draw the kind of publicity that will really launch our bike business."

A small cornel of hope started to build in Tara as she asked, "And the real estate?"

"We're building our ranks, and we're instituting a new policy that all new recruits have to prospect for two years before they can patch. As you know prospects work for the club for little to no pay in return for free room and board while they prove they're eligible to be Samcro. So we're going to have a shit load of cheap labor very soon. We'll start off small but like the bike business I think it will grow quickly. For starters I've got my eye on a small 16 unit rundown apartment complex in Lodi. It's been on the market for several years, and I'm pretty sure we can get it for next to nothing. With the free labor from our prospects we should be able to fix it up cheap and then start renting the units out. Then we'll find another property and do the same. I want to get Samcro to the point that we're bringing in two hundred grand in rental income a month within the next five years. That money will be completely legal, and it will be for our women, children, and retired members."

Holding Tara's gaze, Jax promised, "Tara, I'm moving Samcro in a new direction. A better direction. I know you're not a fan of whores, but once the takeover is done I have no intention of being around them."

"You obviously know you can't avoid the temptation. The same as I know it."

Letting Tara's hands drop from his, Jax cursed, "Fuck, Tara, babe, it kills me you think so little of me."

"Well whose fault is that!"

"Mine! I know it's my fault! But I'm doing my best to prove to you I've changed! I'm a different man, Tara!"

"So you say." Tara couldn't afford to let herself have hope. She couldn't allow herself to believe in Jax Teller, to believe that he could be the man she needed. He'd nearly destroyed her before. She couldn't let it happen again. She wouldn't survive it a second time.

Seeing that Tara wasn't ready to accept he had changed, Jax decided to move on. He was going to prove himself to her. Even if it took him ten years, he was going to prove to Tara that he was the man for her. With that in mind, Jax said, "Regardless of what you think of my ability to stay faithful to you, which I will, I want to know what you think about the rest of it. My plans for Samcro?"

"You really want to know what I think?"

"Yes."

Tara was silent a moment before replying, "I think it's a good plan—if you can pull it off. Right now I have no faith. I see how much you want this, but wanting it and making it happen are two different things."

"I know, and that's why I'm asking you to just give me a chance to prove to you I can do this. Just—just don't run, Tara. Don't leave. Just give me a chance to prove to you I can do this."

"And if you can't? If Clay decides he doesn't want to leave guns? What then?"

Holding Tara's demanding gaze, Jax swore, "Then I'm taking off my kutte, loading up you and the boys, and we're leaving Charming, leaving Samcro."

Tara's shock knew no bounds before she reminded herself that Jax would never leave the Sons as she denied, "You're lying. It's easy for you to say these words to me now but if it came down to it you'd chose your kutte over us in a heartbeat."

"Would I?"

"Yes, you would."

"Really?" Arching his brow, Jax asked, "If that were true then why did I already tell Clay that if he didn't support me with these changes, that if he didn't agree to get Samcro out of guns I was taking you and the boys and leaving today?"

Clearly shocked, and even more skeptical, Tara denied, "You're lying. You'd never leave Samcro."

"Ten years ago, no, I wouldn't and didn't, but now? I most certainly would. This morning I told Clay I couldn't stay if Samcro didn't leave guns. That I wouldn't stay. I told Clay that if he didn't help me move the Sons in a new direction, a better direction, than I'd have no choice but to take my family and go, and I meant it."

Reaching forward to take Tara's hands again, Jax looked deep into her eyes and swore, "Tara, I'm a changed man. I love my club. You know how much I love Samcro, but I don't love them more than you and our boys. If this doesn't work, if Samcro doesn't leave guns I'm taking off my kutte, packing up you and the boys, and we're getting the fuck out of here. As far and as fast as we can go."

Searching Jax's gaze, seeing the truth there, Tara asked softly, "You really said that? You really told Clay you'd leave?"

"I really said it. I said it and I meant it."

Reaching forward to brush his knuckles along Tara's cheek, Jax added, "Tara, when we were younger I couldn't leave with you. I couldn't see a life without Samcro. I didn't know how to live a life that wasn't in Charming. But now? Now I can. I can see a life without my club or this town as long as you're in it. What I can't see is a life without you. And I can't see a life where you and our boys are in danger, and you would be if we stay in guns. So this is me trying to save my club and my family, but if it comes down to it? If I feel I can't do both? Then you and the boys win hands down. If there is ever a moment in the coming months where I don't think I can steer the Sons on a better path than I am fully prepared to black out my ink, take off my kutte, and get the fuck out of Charming with you and the boys, because I can live without Samcro, Tara, but I can't live without you and our sons. I _won't_ live without you."

As Jax fell silent Tara could only stare at him in shock. ' _He can't be serious? He would never leave the Sons!_ ' But staring into Jax's earnest eyes she could see he meant it. Jax was really prepared to take off his kutte and run with her and the boys if the Sons didn't leave guns. Hope began to build in her again, but this time she did nothing to stomp it down. Instead she said, "I still don't believe you, Jax." At his crestfallen expression she quickly added, "But I want to, and I'm going to give you the chance to prove yourself to me."

Jax's smile was big and bright as he asked, "Really? You're really going to give me a chance?"

"I'm not saying I'm giving us a chance, Jax. I'm saying I'm willing to stay here and see how this plan of yours goes, but be assured that there is nothing I won't do for Abel and Thomas. If things start to go bad again, if people start dropping and blood starts flowing, then I'm taking them and running. With or without you. Or through you if it comes to that."

Holding Tara's gaze, his own just as determined, Jax swore, "If things go bad, Tara, I'll be the one driving you and our boys out of this town. You can count on it."

Tara still didn't believe him, but she didn't want to squash the hope he'd built inside her either. So instead she said, "I guess we'll see."

Grinning, Jax swore, "I'm going to prove it to you, Tara. I'm going to prove to you that I an make the Sons something you'll be proud to be a part of, and I'm going to prove to you that I can be everything you deserve. I'm going to give you a beautiful life. I swear it."

"Again, I guess we'll see."

"You will. Now how about you tell me why Happy has a black eye that he says you're responsible for?"


	7. Chapter 7

This is one of my absolute favorite chapters. I loved writing it, and I really hope you all love reading it just as much.

Chapter 7

The following day Jax rode into the Samcro lot with Clay and the others after their meet with Alvarez and the Galindo men. It had gone better than expected. When he and Clay had made the offer to allow the Mayans to take over their gun business after setting up their new venture in pussy the Galindo representatives had at first been skeptical. They had wanted to keep to the original terms Clay had agreed to in jail, but when Jax made it clear that they would rather walk away and pacify the Russians by handing over their gun business to them than ever mule drugs Romeo had come around. In the end the idea of controlling the Irish pipeline and having such a large presence in California had proved enough temptation. The terms had been set.

The Mayans and Galindo would back Samcro in their move to take over the pussy trade in most of California, and the Sons would sell them guns over the next six months, allowing them to make the cash to build their new businesses, while the Mayans did all the muling. Then in six months when things had a chance to settle down Samcro would slowly begin transferring the gun business to the Mayans. This would allow Galindo to get guns at a deep discount from the Mayans, not having to pay the Sons markup, and let Alvarez's crew have the guns they'd need to control the coke trade in their territories. Jax was still unsure if the Irish would accept the transfer of ownership, but Clay had assured him that once they saw how much money this move would bring them, and if Samcro could keep any heat from coming down on them over the next six months, then the Irish would be more interested in making money for their cause than their dislike of the cartel and Mayans. So the deal had been made.

Jax had barely been able to contain his excitement when Romeo and Alvarez shook on it, and he and his club had really and truly made the first step to get out of guns. He had no delusions that there were going to be many complications in the coming months, that the hardest obstacles were yet to come, but getting the approval of Galindo and the Mayans had been crucial to the rest of his plan, and now they had it. He couldn't wait to tell Tara. Especially after last night.

Jax couldn't help but wince as he remembered how last night when Tara had taken the boys to Chucky's room to sleep, the odd man graciously offering up his sleeping quarters for them, she had made it perfectly clear he hadn't been invited to come. When he'd asked if he could at least sleep on the floor of the bedroom with them, Tara had shaken her head and replied, "Jax, I don't feel comfortable with you there."

She hadn't been comfortable. Tara wasn't comfortable with the idea of him sleeping so close to her. Fuck if that hadn't hurt. He never slept as well as he did as when Tara was in his arms, and he had fucked things up so badly that she didn't feel comfortable with him sleeping in the same room, let alone holding her in bed. His eyes had shown his sadness when he'd agreed to find somewhere else to sleep. He was only thankful that she had agreed to let him help her read to the boys before they fell asleep, but it had definitely hurt to have her shoo him away once they were.

It had been a rough night sleeping in a chair in his mother's office as he'd given his room to Opie, Lyla, and their kids and the rest of the clubhouse and lot was filled with others camping out in sleeping bags and tents until they got off lockdown. When he'd settled into his mother's office chair with a blanket it had been a jarring reminder of how badly he'd fucked up his family by cheating on Tara and pushing her away. Still, it only added to his determination to fix things with her. To replace the wariness, disappointment, and anger in her eyes with trust, desire, and love. He would get his old lady back, and once he did he'd never give her a reason to doubt him again. Let alone feel uncomfortable in his presence.

Backing his bike into line beside Clay's and the rest of his brother's, Jax took of his helmet and grinned at his step father as he said, "That went better than I thought it would."

"Hell yeah it did, but I don't think I'll ever forget Marcus's shock when we told him we wanted out of guns," Clay laughed.

"Well we have spent 20 some odd years fighting him over it," Tig agreed from the other side of Jax as he put the kickstand down his bike as well.

Clapping Jax on the shoulder, Clay added, "But it's a good plan, Jax. No way will Alvarez double cross us now. He'd lose all his guns. We've made an ally for life."

"Yeah," Tig reluctantly agreed before catching sight of Gemma marching their way with a definite scowl on her face. "Heads up guys, Gemma looks like she's about to lay into us."

"Fuck," Clay muttered, "what the hell did we do now."

"Hey Ma," Jax greeted when his mom came to a stop right in front of him and gave him a glare that would have the most seasoned soldier ducking for cover. "What's up?"

"What's up? _What's up?_ You little shit I should slap the fuck out of you!"

Seeing how livid Gemma was Jax asked, "What did I do? Why are you so pissed?"

Stepping towards her son, Gemma hissed, "I'm pissed because that fucking whore Ima has been here for the last two hours! Walking around this clubhouse like she belongs here! You should have seen Tara's face when she walked in! Damnit Jax! How the fuck is she supposed to forgive you when your mistakes keep slapping her in the face!"

Getting pissed now as well, Jax asked, "Why the fuck is she here? I never told her to come here."

"Aw shit man," Opie offered sheepishly. "I told Lyla to warn the CaraCara girls that shit might go down. She asked if any of them could come here for security. After what happened to Luanne they get spooked easily. I told her yes, but I never dreamed she'd invite Ima."

"I didn't," Lyla explained as she joined the group. She tossed a glare back at the clubhouse before facing everyone and explaining, "When I called CaraCara and told Macy she and the other girls could hide out here until we see how all this lands I specifically told her to make sure Ima knew she wasn't invited."

Looking straight at Jax, she swore, "I promise Jax, I made Macy swear up and down that she'd make sure Ima knew she couldn't come. She just showed up. I've been trying to get her to leave but she won't."

Gaze going to his mother, Jax asked, "Why didn't you make her leave? Fuck Ma! You've been slapping uppity whores around for years! Why the hesitation now?"

Still glaring at her son, Gemma replied, "Because Tara told me not to. She said you'd been inside a long time and could probably use the comfort that Ima can provide. She said since you're in the market for a new old lady Ima must be here to audition. She even asked one of the crow eaters to change the sheets on your bed so it would be ready for the two of you."

Her words sliced through him and Jax felt guilt and shame flood him, not to mention unbelievable pain. To hear how Tara had responded to Ima's presence ripped him in two, and what was worse is he knew he deserved it. Looking at the ground he muttered, "Fuck." He couldn't imagine how much pain Tara must be in, pain and embarrassment, watching Ima strutting around the clubhouse, rubbing Tara's face in the fact he slept with her.

Determination rising, Jax growled, "Well she's leaving now." He strode purposefully towards the clubhouse with everyone following closely behind him. He couldn't believe the gall of this whore showing up here like this, and he was determined to make it clear to her and everyone else that there was only one woman for him. That only one woman meant anything to him.

Storming into the clubhouse he spotted Tara at the end of the bar, Abel sitting next to her eating a sandwich while she held Thomas in her arms. Eyes scanning the room he saw Ima lounging on the couch with some of the other CaraCara girls. Everyone's eyes immediately snapped to him, including Tara's, but she looked away from him just as quickly. Though not so fast he didn't see the pain in them. Moving with purpose Jax headed straight for Ima who was giving him her best sultry smile.

"Hey, Jax" Ima greeted, eager to weasel her way into Jax's life in any way she could. Now that Tara had made it clear she was officially done with the handsome outlaw biker Ima was determined to get his crow on her. She was determined to be the next queen of Samcro. "I've missed you. Why didn't you come see me when you got out? I would have given you a welcome home you wouldn't ever forget."

Coming to stop in front of Ima, keenly aware of all the eyes in the club on them, Jax growled, "Get up."

Slightly put off by his expression and tone, Ima stood and said, "What's with the hostility? Last time I saw you there was such a smile on your face. Are you forgetting how good I made your cock feel, baby? Because I'm definitely ready to remind you."

Reaching forward to trail her fingers along the VP patch on his kutte, Ima purred, "How about you take me upstairs, cowboy? I've never had a man fuck my pussy the way you did that night. I can't wait to feel you inside me again, and I know it's been a long time for you."

Across the room Tara felt pain tear through her heart and she did everything in her power to keep her eyes from filling with tears. Being reminded of what Jax had done with Ima made her feel sick, but she refused to fall apart. Especially in front of everyone. Instead she clutched Thomas in her arms as she said to Abel, "Come on, baby, let's go to Chucky's room."

"But, Mommy, I'm eating!"

Needing to get her children away from Ima's foul mouth, Tara offered, "I know, baby. You can take your sandwich with you, and after you finish I'll get you an ice cream. How about that, baby?"

"Ok Mommy."

Tara quickly made her way out of the main clubhouse area and headed to the back towards Chucky's room. She passed the odd man who gave her a sympathetic look before hurrying down the hall with her children. When the door was safely shut behind her Tara allowed a few tears to fall.

"Why you sad, Mommy?"

"I'm not sad, Abel, I just got something in my eye. Now hurry and eat your sandwich so we can go get some ice cream."

"Ok!"

Back in the clubhouse Jax had been so focused on Ima and his anger at her being here like this that he hadn't heard Tara leave. Instead he pulled Ima's hand from his kutte and hissed, "You got no right being here, whore. This clubhouse is for family. You were told not to come."

Pouting as she jerked her hand from Jax's too tight hold, Ima denied, "You were certainly happy to have me here last time."

"A mistake. A mistake I'm never going to repeat. You get whatever shit you came with and get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see your rancid pussy in this clubhouse again. Do you understand?"

Eyes widening, Ima asked, "You're kicking me out?"

"You were never invited to begin with. Lyla made it clear you weren't welcome here."

Eyes darting around and seeing that everyone was watching them, and beginning to feel more and more embarrassed, Ima demanded, "You have to let me stay. You guys are brining heat down on us and I don't want to end up like Luanne. You owe me protection."

"I don't owe you shit," Jax denied, "I don't owe you anything, and I'm not giving you anything. We're locking down the people we love. That doesn't include you."

Growing more and more irritated, Ima huffed, "I guess you mean little Miss Tara?"

When Jax's expression grew dark Ima stupidly continued, "Well you must not love her too much considering how eager you were to ditch her. You practically came running to my pussy a few seconds after kicking her to the curb."

Fury filling him, Jax stepped close to Ima, glaring down at her with sheer hate in his gaze as he warned, "Don't you ever talk about Tara. _Ever_. Her name doesn't ever pass your lips again, whore. You think anything about that night was about you? Do you think I even remember it?"

At Ima's defiant gaze, Jax continued, "I was out of my fucking mind with worry for my son and my old lady. I was worried our enemies were going to kill her as easily as they took my son so I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing her away. You were just a tool for me to try and protect Tara. It was a mistake. Tara belongs with me. She's always belonged with me."

Stepping back again, wanting to put distance between him and the woman he'd hurt Tara so badly with, Jax stated, "Ima, I don't remember a thing about that night. I was too drunk and wasted, but you know what? I remember every fucking moment I've ever spent with Tara. I remember the very first time I kissed her when we were 11 on the playground. I remember the first time I told her I loved her when I was 16. I remember the first time I ever danced with her at our prom. The first time I woke up with her in my arms after taking her virginity. I remember every fucking moment I ever spent with Tara Knowles. But you? I got nothing. And that's because you're forgettable."

At Ima's angry expression, Jax drove the final nail in the coffin. "You're forgettable, Ima, because you're nothing more than a cum rag. A place for men to dump a load. And what is really sad about it all is you seem so proud of the fact you've made yourself into a disposable human being. You're proud of the fact you sell your pussy for money. My woman? My Tara? She's a fucking surgeon who has never had sex for any reason other than love. What I got with her is real. You're fucking nothing to me, so get your whore ass out of my clubhouse before I throw you out in the street myself. And don't you ever fucking come back."

Moving to stand beside Jax, Clay growled, "You heard him, cunt, get the fuck out of this clubhouse. And if you ever disrespect Tara again by coming around here Jax isn't the only one you'll need to worry about coming down on you. You don't fuck with Samcro, bitch, and Tara is Samcro."

"Damn right she is," Tig chimed in as he moved to stand with his Prez and VP. "Tara's with us, and we protect what's ours."

"Violently if necessary," Happy added. He might still be pissed about Tara knocking him around, but he wouldn't put up with this skank disrespecting her.

Moving to stand on the other side of her son, Gemma smirked at the younger woman and scoffed, "I told you that you weren't welcome here, whore, and now my son has said the same thing. This place is for Samcro and friends of, and you're neither. Now get the fuck out."

Never taking his hate filled gaze from the woman he despised so much and regretted ever setting eyes on, Jax ordered, "Hap, throw her out."

"Sure thing, VP." Moving forward to take hold of Ima's arm Hap growled, "Let's go. Now."

Ima tossed a heated glare over her shoulder as Happy dragged her out of the clubhouse. When she was gone Jax looked around and said, "Anyone ever disrespects my old lady and they'll have to answer to me. Is that understood?"

"You'll answer to every patched member of this club," Clay chimed in.

When there was a rumble of agreements, Jax turned back to the bar, expecting to see Tara there, and hoping his words had meant as much to her as they meant to him—but she wasn't there. Cursing he headed for Chucky's room. He didn't know what he was going to say to her, but he knew some begging was definitely in order.

Knocking on the door he pushed it open and poked his head in as he called, "Tara? Can I come in?"

Refusing to look at him as she dangled some play rings in front of Thomas who was giggling and swatting at them while sitting in her lap while Able finished his lunch at the small desk Chucky's room had, Tara asked, "And if I say no?"

Deciding not to answer that and instead entering the room to shut the door behind him, Jax quickly moved to sit beside his old lady on the bed and offered, "She's gone."

"You should go after her. I'm sure you'll find her just as comforting as last time."

She was refusing to look at him, and Jax pleaded, "Tara, please don't shut me out. I didn't know she'd show up here, and I made sure she understood she's never to come around here again."

"Jax, I don't want to talk about this. Certainly not in front of the kids. Besides, what you do in your free time is none of my concern. You're free to be with Ima or any girl you want."

"Tara, you're the only girl I want."

Finally raising her gaze to his, letting him see the tears in her eyes, her hurt and pain, Tara replied, "Well then I guess it's a shame you threw me away and ruined any chance we had at being together."

Seeing her pain, seeing her beautiful green eyes so filled with the hurt he had caused her, had Jax's heart aching. The need to take her in his arms was overwhelming, but he knew that Tara would not allow him to touch her now, which hurt him just as much. "Please don't say that, Tara, and please stop crying. I can't stand to see you cry, babe."

"Mommy's not crying, Daddy," Abel offered from the desk. "She's got something in her eyes. She gets something in her eyes a lot."

Abel's words nearly stopped Jax's heart. Hearing his son speak so innocently, revealing to him how often Tara cried over him, made him want to kick his own ass.

Ignoring Jax, Tara said, "Abel, finish your lunch so we can go get some ice cream."

"Yes, Mommy!"

Jingling the keys for Thomas and once again ignoring Jax, she ordered, "Go line up an escort for us, and then leave me alone. I don't want to look at you anymore today."

Jax debated with himself about staying and making her talk to him, but he figured after being holed up in the same room with Ima for two hours Tara would need some time to calm down. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were. So instead he stood and kissed the top of her head before she could stop him and headed back out into the clubhouse to get Happy and Rat. They would go with Tara and his boys while he headed back out with some of the others to go check out the first brothel they were looking to take over. A guy named Nero ran it, and rumor had it he was actually looking to retire. They'd come back to the clubhouse with the intent to grab a bite to eat before meeting up with this Nero guy, but he wanted to head out now. He needed to accomplish something good after Ima had rubbed his mistake of a night with her in Tara's face.

When he was gone Tara nuzzled Thomas's soft hair as she watched Abel finishing his sandwich and chips. Her heart hurt. She couldn't even begin to describe the way she'd felt when she'd watched Ima come waltzing into the clubhouse in her ridiculously high stilettos. It was like someone punched her in the gut and heart at the same time. She'd felt sick to her stomach. And when Ima had smiled at her and casually asked when Jax was getting back it had taken everything she'd had not to slam the bitch's face into the bar before crawling into a hole somewhere to break down. Instead she'd chosen to do the mature thing and simply ignore the whore while focusing on her children. Her kids. Abel and Thomas. They were all that was important to her. She would probably regret losing Jax for the rest of her life, but she had his sons. It was more than enough to keep her happy, because her whole life all she had ever wanted to be was Jax's wife and the mother to his children. She might have lost him, but she had his boys. They would keep her from succumbing to despair.

Heading into the bar Jax waved Happy over and said, "Tara wants to take the boys to get some ice cream. Since the meeting with the Mayans and Galindo went so well I want you to take them. Take Rat with you."

"Alright VP. Any idea on how long this lockdown will last?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Jax replied, "I doubt it will be more than a few days. So far it looks like everything is good. Mayans and Galindo are on board with the plan. We just need to make sure the Russians are really down and out. Once we know for sure where they are at we'll call off the lockdown."

Heading towards Clay and the others he asked, "You ready to head out?"

Gemma, worried at the fact Jax hadn't been in the back with Tara long enough to make shit right, asked, "How's Tara?"

When Jax merely shook his head at her, Gemma muttered, "Fuck," and headed to the back to offer the younger woman her support.

Watching his wife go for a moment Clay turned to glare at his stepson and growled, "You better get to making this right, son, because your mistakes are fucking up our family."

"Yeah they are," Tig added, glaring just as hard at Jax. Tara didn't deserve this shit. All she'd done was try to stand by her man, and what Jax had done to her didn't sit right with him.

"Lay off him, guys," Bobby insisted.

"Jackie boy knows he's fucked up," Chibs agreed. "He doesn't need you guys reminding him all the damn time."

Opie, just as pissed at Jax for what he'd done to Tara, but know Jax needed some support right now, stepped up and tried to relieve the tension by asking, "So I guess this means lunch is canceled?"

"I just want to get shit going," Jax said as he headed out of the clubhouse. He couldn't get the look that Tara had in her eyes out of his head. That broken, tear filled look of such disappointment and pain would haunt him forever. In this moment he hated himself. He hated himself so fucking much.

As the others began following Jax out of the clubhouse Lyla grabbed Opie's arm to stop him for a moment. "Hey, I want you to make time to talk to me tonight, ok?"

Searching his wife's eyes, Opie asked, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah. I—I just want to talk to you about me working at CaraCara."

A slow grin slowly spreading across his features, Opie asked, "Do you mean what I think you mean?"

Nodding her head, glad no one was paying attention to them, Lyla said, "Yes. I want out, Op. I don't ever want to be disposable. Not anymore."

"Hey," Opie soothed as he moved to take Lyla's face in his large hands. "You know Jax didn't mean any of that shit for you."

Looking up into the eyes of her husband, Lyla said, "I know, but it doesn't change the fact I sell my body for money, and I don't want to do it anymore."

"Good, because the club has an offer for you anyway. I was going to talk to you about it after we got off lockdown."

Eyes widening, Lyla asked, "Really? What kind of offer?"

"How do you feel about running CaraCara?"

"What about Dondo?"

"We only brought him in after Luanne died because we had no choice, but we're looking to expand our porn business in a major way. We're going to have more work than he can handle."

Grinning, Lyla replied, "I can't wait to hear about it." Leaning up to kiss him softly, she replied, "I'll see you later, big man."

"Looking forward to it." Opie returned Lyla's kiss before heading out of the clubhouse after his brothers. He was so glad Lyla was ready to leave porn. She had only been doing lesbian films since they got engaged, but he wanted her out from in front of the camera for good. He didn't love Lyla the way he'd loved Donna, but he knew could love her as much one day. They just had to get there, and her staying in porn had been a huge obstacle in their relationship.

Watching her husband go Lyla could only think, ' _Maybe it is time to get off the pill? He really wants a baby, and we're married now. He's not going to abandon me like Piper's dad did._ '

Heading back towards Chucky's room to see if Gemma and Tara wanted her around she thought, ' _I need to stop comparing Opie to Piper's dad. They aren't the same at all. I keep waiting for things to go wrong, but Opie would never abandon me and Piper. He's too good a man._ '

Outside as everyone started up the bikes while one of the prospects opened up the gates for them, Jax called out, "Need to make a stop before we head out of town."

"Where?" Clay asked.

Jax refused to answer and headed out of the lot with the others following him. He made his way through town before finding the store he was looking for. He knew his brothers wouldn't keep their mouths shut as he put his kickstand down and took off his helmet as he got off his bike.

"Ah, is Jackie boy getting some flowers for his lady?" Chibs knew he probably shouldn't tease Jax about the state of his relationship with Tara, but he couldn't help himself.

Jax's only response was to flip Chibs off over his shoulder as he pushed the flower shop door open. Seeing the pretty black woman behind the counter he greeted, "Hello, Ma'am, I need to get some flowers."

Mrs. Roosevelt, easily recognizing the Son before her, asked skeptically, "What kind of flowers?"

"Some that say I'm really fucking sorry, I'm an idiot, and please forgive me."

Unable to keep from laughing, Mrs. Roosevelt, replied, "Those pay the bills around here."

"I'm sure they do," Jax replied with a small smile. "So what have you got?"

"We have dozens of options." Pulling out her design book, she added, "We can do anything in here. They are organized from most expensive to least. I would suggest something from the first section if you're in real trouble with your girl."

"The biggest," Jax mumbled as he began thumbing through the different pages. After a moment he asked, "You got some kind of frequent flyer or rewards program? I think I'm going to be coming by here a lot."

Grinning, Mrs. Roosevelt offered, "How about this, after your first ten arrangements I'll give you 10% off each arrangement after that."

"Sounds good. I get to send notes with these right?"

"That's right."

Scanning the options Jax found one he thought would be best to start with and pointed at it as he said, "I'll start with this one for today."

Eyes widening at the arrangement he'd selected, a massive 100 long stem rose flower bouquet in a circular vase, Mrs. Roosevelt warned, "You realize that's a $350 arrangement, right?"

"Yeah, it should do for starters." Flipping through the book some more he said, "And I want these sent to her tomorrow."

Chuckling at the $380 Luxury Calla Lilly arrangement he'd pointed out, she said, "Ok. Is that it?"

"No. I want you to send her these the day after," Jax said, indicating another massive flower bouquet of roses and orchids."

"Anything else?"

"Yep." Jax quickly selected seven other arrangements to be delivered to Tara one day after the other. "For the next three days deliver all the arrangements to the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse. It's at—"

"I know where it is."

Seeing the woman's expression, and picking up on the fact she obviously knew him, Jax asked, "Do I know you?"

"Not me specifically, but I'm sure you know my husband."

"And he is?"

"Sheriff Roosevelt."

Jax went silent for a moment, appraising the woman in front of him, before asking, "Is me being here a problem for you?"

"You going to make trouble?"

"Just looking to get some flowers for my old lady."

"Hmm, well at least you're not trying to throw your weight around like your mother."

Grinning, Jax asked, "Ma was here?"

Nodding her head, Mrs. Roosevelt replied, "Yes. I've had the pleasure of meeting your mother."

"Was she here about her plants or did she come to make trouble?"

"A bit of both I suppose. She's definitely a woman to take seriously."

Shaking his head, Jax laughed, "That's one way to put it. Look, Ma just takes some getting used to."

"So she gets better upon acquaintance?"

"I wouldn't say that. She just takes some getting used to."

"I'll keep that in mind." Handing Jax the notes and envelopes for him to add to his flower orders she said, "Fill out your notes and put them in the order you want them delivered."

"Can I fill out the one for today and drop off the next tomorrow? Not sure what I'll need to say tomorrow. I'll probably fuck up again between now and then and need to beg for forgiveness for something else."

Arching a brow, Mrs. Roosevelt asked, "You mess up that bad?"

A sad look flashed through Jax's eyes before he controlled his features and replied, "Yeah, I did. Broke my old lady's heart."

"And you think flowers will fix it?"

"No, but I'm hoping it's a good start."

Smiling softly at the biker in front of her, Mrs. Roosevelt agreed, "Fill out your note for today, and you can drop the others off daily if you'd like, but know that our delivery driver leaves at 11:30 every morning. If you don't have the note here by then the flowers go out without them."

"Ok. Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays I'll need the flowers delivered to 3318 Highcourt Road on the outskirts of town after this week. The next three days deliver them to the clubhouse, but after that on those days they go to her house. The rest of the week have them delivered to the hospital. They are for Doctor Tara—"

"Knowles," Mrs. Roosevelt finished. At Jax's surprised expression she added, "We might be new here, but it didn't take us long to hear about you and your girl. Together since you were kids, right?"

"On and off. She left for awhile to become a doctor."

"A doctor and an outlaw biker. Quite a pair you two make."

"Yeah, I know I'm not good enough for her, but I plan to be."

At Mrs. Roosevelt's questioning gaze, Jax said, "Just—tell your old man that Sons are getting out of guns." When her eyes widened, whether in shock at his news or shock that he'd told her at all, he added, "Things are changing, Mrs. Roosevelt. There comes a time when a man has to decide what's most important to him."

"And what is most important to you?"

"My family."

Quickly writing out his note and handing it over to her along with the $2755 in cash to pay for all the flowers he'd ordered, Jax quickly swept up the other notes and envelopes and put them into the pocket inside his kutte and added, "Sons are headed in a new direction, Ma'am, a better one. One that will make my old lady proud of me."

Picking up the money Mrs. Roosevelt considered Jax Teller carefully before replying, "I guess we'll see. Her first arrangement will be delivered in a few hours. Don't forget to drop off tomorrow's note by 11:30am."

"I won't. You have a nice day, Mrs. Roosevelt."

When Jax teller left without another word she could only stare after him, considering his words to her. She couldn't help but think he meant what he said to her. Something in her eyes had made her think that Jax Teller was a different sort of man than she'd assumed he'd be. After counting to make sure he'd given her the correct amount of cash she added the money to the register and made a note on his account that he got 10% off from here on out. With that she headed into the back to get started on Miss Knowles first arrangement and call her husband. She was sure he'd want to hear about her first interaction with the Prince of Charming.

Outside Jax growled, "Not one fucking word assholes. Not one fucking word."

The other guys just laughed as they all stared up their bikes and headed out of town towards Nero's brothel. The entire way Jax kept thinking about how he was going to begin making things right between him and Tara. He knew flowers weren't going to cut it. It would take a hell of a lot more than some pretty floral arrangements for Tara to forgive him. He just needed to figure out what.

A few hours later Tara was sitting at one of the tables in the clubhouse with Thomas in her lap while she helped Abel color one of the pictures in his coloring book, when one of the crow eaters interrupted her.

"Tara?"

Looking up at some young blonde she couldn't remember the name of, Tara asked, "What?"

"There is a delivery here. The guys at the front gate want to know if they should take it? I can't find Gemma so I thought I'd ask you."

"As long as it doesn't look like a bomb or anything it should be fine."

The crow eater smiled brightly as she assured, "It is most definitely not a bomb."

"Then bring it in."

Tara went back to coloring with Abel as she bounced Thomas on her knee but her attention was drawn back to the front of the clubhouse a few moments later as she heard the gasps from various people around her as Filthy Phil came towards her with a massive flower arrangement of red roses. "What is that?"

Smiling around the huge amount of flowers in his arms, Phil replied, "It's for you. Just came."

Tara could only gap at the flowers when Phil set them down on the table before her. She'd never seen such a huge display of flowers outside of a wedding. Seeing the card that said, "Tara," she cursed and thought, ' _Fucking Jax. Like flowers are going to make me feel better._ '

Reaching forward she snatched up the note, thoroughly aware of everyone watching her, and tore it open. "The first time I kissed you we were 11. You were wearing that blue jumper with the butterflies on it. Your hair was in pigtails, and Opie dared me to pull them, but I didn't. I kissed you. I don't know why I did. I just felt the need to kiss you instead. So I did. I've carried that memory for 20 years, and I'll carry it until the day I die. The only kisses that have ever mattered to me have been yours. Jax."

Tara couldn't have stopped the surge of emotions that rushed her at Jax's words if she had tried. She couldn't believe he remembered that. She couldn't believe that one moment in time was still with him. They hadn't even really been friends back then. It wasn't until they were 14 that they really started hanging out together instead of just passing each other in the hall or sitting next to each other in class. While she'd been pretty close with Opie, it was usually when no one was around, and she'd rarely spent time with Jax back then. Her close relationship with Opie had generally consisted of her knocking on his bedroom window at night when her father's drunken rages after her mother's death got to be too much and she'd needed to get away. He'd always let her in before crawling back into his bed while she climbed up to the top bunk, but he'd spent his days after school tearing around town with Jax while she buried herself in books.

So she couldn't contain her shock and the sheer pleasure that shot through her as Jax let her know he still remembered that afternoon on the playground. The day she'd started falling head over heels in love with Jax Teller. She'd never dreamed he would remember that moment, but with his own writing he'd proven to her he had. Needing to get away before she completely lost it, she called, "Lyla?"

"Yeah?"

Handing Thomas to her, Tara asked, "Will you watch the boys for me for a moment?"

"Sure thing."

Kissing each of her boys on the cheek Tara clutched her note closely to her chest and walked from the clubhouse main room towards Chucky's bedroom. She wouldn't let anyone see her cry. She couldn't stand for any of them to see her weak again. Once she was safely behind the closed door of Chucky's bedroom she let her tears fall while reading over Jax's note to her again and again. Sliding down the door to sit on the floor she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. How was she supposed to get over Jax when he did things like this? When he reminded her how much a part of her he really was?

"Fucking Jax, and his fucking pretty words, and his stupid fucking flowers!"

She wished she didn't love him this much. She wished she didn't ache and yearn for him every second of the day. She wished so fucking much he hadn't destroyed them like he had, but mostly she wished he hadn't made her fear him. Hadn't made her afraid to love him or be loved by him. As her tears continued to fall she found her fingers smoothing over his surprisingly elegant handwriting, memorizing the words he'd written her, she couldn't help thinking, ' _But maybe he can save us too?_ '


	8. Chapter 8

Remember, I'm going to be fudging things a bit to suit my story. Leaving some things out, mixing up the timeline, having different things happen than what happened in the show to fit my story. We're definitely in AU territory now. Also, you're really going to love the last half of this chapter. I LOVED writing it.

Chapter 8

The next day Sheriff Roosevelt pulled up to the Samcro parking lot ready to send a message. He'd been carefully thinking how to strike back at the Sons after their not so subtle message to Hale and the rest of Charming by leaving the bodies of four dead Russians at Charming Heights, and he'd finally decided to throw his weight around. Seeing the gates barred at the Teller-Morrow Garage where the Sons operated out of, he exited his cruiser and made his way to the door to bang hard and shout, "Sheriff's Department! Open up!"

A small opening appeared and he saw a man's face before he quickly demanded, "Warrant?"

"Open up," Eli barked, having no warrant, but counting on the Sons not wanting to make more trouble with him. He was wrong apparently as the opening disappeared just as quickly.

Inside Tara was sitting with Piney, Happy, and her boys at one of the tables having lunch with Lyla and her kids. The rest of the Sons were out making more headway in their plan to get out of guns, and Tig was following Gemma as the she ran some errands and collected some supplies to restock. With so many people here they were running out of food and toiletry items.

Their peaceful lunch was brought up short as Rat came running inside announcing, "Piney! Happy! Sheriff's at the door!"

Swallowing the bite of pizza he'd been eating, Piney asked, "He got a warrant?"

"Didn't show one."

"Then fuck him," Happy added as he took another bite of his own pizza.

Looking between the men Tara rolled her eyes in exasperation and asked Rat, "Did you ask him why he was here?"

"I asked if he had a warrant. He didn't say he had one and didn't show it to me. Just told me to open up. So I shut the door on him and came for you guys."

"Like, Hap said, fuck him," Piney agreed.

Shaking her head and passing Thomas to Lyla before reminding Abel he wouldn't get his cookie if he didn't finish his salad as well as his pizza she stood from the table and headed out of the clubhouse.

"Where you going?"

Looking back at Piney, Tara answered, "I'm going to go see what he wants."

"Why?" Happy asked.

"Why not?"

Piney and Happy shared a look before getting up and following after her. A few moments later Tara stepped through the small door on the side of the large Samcro gates and greeted, "Hello, Sheriff, can I help you with something?"

Happy and Piney both came out to stand on either side of her as Piney added, "Unless you got a warrant you ain't stepping foot on our property."

Roosevelt took off his sunglasses and put them in his shirt pocket as he tossed a glance at Piney and Happy before focusing on Tara and asking, "You hear about the bodies of the men left at the entrance to Charming Heights?"

"Of course," Tara agreed. She wasn't happy that Jax had started spilling blood his first day out, but seeing as how the Russians had shanked him in prison and nearly taken him from her and their boys forever she wasn't going to shed any tears over them.

"I'm here about that."

"Well as Piney said, unless you have some evidence that any of my boys were responsible, and a warrant due to that evidence giving you a reason to step foot onto Samcro property I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We've got women and children here and I'm not about to let you terrify them just to make a point."

Roosevelt looked over Tara. He had heard a lot about the girl that had left town over ten years ago and come back a neonatal surgeon. He didn't much understand why a woman like her had anything to do with Jax Teller or the Sons of Anarchy, but as he'd heard she'd known Jax as a child he guessed her history with them ran deep. "Look, Miss Knowles, I don't—"

"Doctor Knowles. I didn't spend over half a mil on medical school and bust my ass for ten years to be called Miss," Tara interrupted.

Unable to keep the smile from his face, appreciating the woman's spirit, Roosevelt amended, "Doctor Knowles, I was brought to Charming for a reason. I have no intention to let it be business as usual for the Sons. Your boys pissed on my shoes, and I'm not going to stand for it."

Pointedly looking down at his shoes, Tara observed, "Your shoes look fine to me."

"Open the gates, Doctor," Roosevelt demanded.

Tara hesitated a moment before turning to Piney and Happy and asking, "Can you give us a minute?"

"Tara, I don't think that is a good idea," Piney drawled, looking back and forth between Tara and the new Sheriff, as he added, "Jax and Clay will have our asses if they find out we left you alone out here with him."

"Please guys. Trust me."

Happy and Piney shared a look before Piney agreed, "Five minutes, and then we're coming back out to get you."

After Piney and Happy made their way back through the small side door of the gates Roosevelt remarked, "You've certainly got your boys on a short leash."

"No, they just respect me, which is apparently more than I can say for you," Tara replied, facing the sheriff again before asking, "Are you really here to get into a pissing contest with the Sons?"

"I need to make a statement. Your boys can't do whatever the fuck they want to do," Roosevelt warned.

After considering the man before her, Tara announced, "I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about what happened the day Jax got out, but—"

"Are you admitting to some knowledge as to who killed those men, Doctor Knowles?"

Smiling sweetly, Tara asked, "Do I look like an idiot to you, Sheriff?" When he didn't reply she stated, "I don't know who killed those men. I have my suspicions, same as you, but I'm not going to go digging nor shed any tears over those men. According to the news each of them had ties to the Russian mob and had been arrested for a variety of crimes including sexual assault and battery of women. Whatever you think of my guys you know as well as I do that not one of them has ever had a charge like that."

"Fair enough, but the fact remains your boys dumped four bodies on my turf. That has to be answered for. You know that."

Stepping closer, Tara said, "Sheriff, what I know is that my guys are trying to make changes. Big changes, changes that take them out of the business they've spent 20 years in, and changes that will allow me to let my sons grow up in this town without my worrying they're going to get shot in a drive by, but you coming here like this? Pushing up on them like this? Well I don't think any good can come from it."

Roosevelt's eyes widened. His wife had told him all about her meeting with Jax Teller the day before, and his message that the Sons were getting out of guns, but he didn't believe it. Men like them didn't change, so he replied, "I've heard a bit about it, but forgive me if I don't believe it."

Smiling sadly, Tara agreed, "I'm having trouble believing it either."

When Roosevelt arched his brow, Tara explained, "Jax has promised me that he's taking the Sons in a new direction. He's sworn that in six months time they'll be out of their current business and in a new one that won't ever bring war to Charming again. I don't believe him, but I want to, and I told him I'm willing to wait and see how his plans turn out."

"Really? You think Samcro can change?"

"I'm hoping they can." Taking a quick look back at the clubhouse before focusing back on the sheriff, Tara explained, "I don't want to take my sons and leave Charming, Sheriff. I want them to be able to grow up in this town with this club, but I've told Jax if things start to go bad again I'm taking them and running. I'll have no choice."

"Smart choice. A mother needs to look after her children."

"I intend to, and Jax has promised he's going to make shit change."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then he's promised to black out his ink, take off his kutte, and drive us out of here himself."

Eyes widening at that little bit of information, Roosevelt asked, "And you believe Jax is going to walk away from his legacy?"

"No, I don't. Jax is good at making promises, but he's even better at breaking them."

"Then why are you still here?"

Smiling softly, Tara replied, "Because he's given me hope. Not a lot, and it won't take much to squash it, but it's there all the same. I know his plans, and they're good. If the Sons put their all into it they can make them happen, they can change."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know my guys, and they won't ignore an insult. You piss them off and they'll get payback. They don't take shit from anyone. Certainly not the law."

Refusing to be intimidated, Roosevelt growled, "Am I supposed to feel threatened, Doctor Knowles?"

Shaking her head, Tara denied, "No, you're supposed to give them some time."

"Meaning?"

"Give them some time to change before you force them into a fight none of us wants."

"You expect me to just let it all go? Ignore the fact they dropped four bodies on my front door step?"

Pointedly looking up and down the street, Tara asked, "You see this place? This town? The one thing the Sons have always done is protect Charming. The Sons are the reason there has only been one rape in over 20 years in Charming, and as I'm sure you heard the perpetrator of that rape was found castrated in the woods a few days later, bled out from his castration. No arrests were ever made, but you know as well as everyone else in this town who got justice for that little girl. The Sons are why no one in this town locks their doors. The Sons are why drugs have never made it into this town. The Sons are the reason Charming is Charming. Hale? He wants to change all that. He doesn't care that he'll be ruining this town as long as he gets the chance to get rich. My guess is what happened with the Russians at Charming Heights had nothing to do with you and everything to do with sending a message to Hale to stop fucking with Charming."

"You think that display was all about Hale?"

Refusing to back down, Tara affirmed, "Samcro loves Charming, Sheriff. It's more than their territory. It's their home. Hale? He doesn't give a shit about this town or the people in it. All he cares about is money."

"And the Sons don't?"

"If they did they would have been in drugs all along."

When Roosevelt remained silent, Tara pleaded, "Please Sheriff, give my boys a chance to change. Give them a chance to prove to all of us that they can be more than they are."

"And you really believe Samcro can go legit?"

"I think they can turn themselves into something even you wouldn't mind. Will they be completely legit? Of course not. Guys like them never are, but they have a plan to leave the blood and death behind. They have a plan to take us in a new direction, and I want to see if they can pull it off."

"What kind of direction?" Roosevelt couldn't see it. Not any of it. He couldn't see an outlaw motorcycle gang like the Sons ever doing anything that didn't involve killing.

Shrugging her shoulders, Tara suggested, "My guys do love their women."

Mulling her words over for a minute, Roosevelt guessed, "Your boys are going into pussy? Setting up a prostitution ring?"

"I'm neither confirming nor denying that statement. What I will say is that everyone involved will be willing, and supposedly war never takes place over this new business they are determined to get into while leaving the old behind."

Roosevelt considered the woman before him as he thought her words over. He, like most dedicated police officers, didn't give a damn about prostitution unless it involved children, forced labor, or rape. He didn't give a shit if some John paid a woman for sex as long as she was willingly selling it, but he couldn't help but ask, "And they're bringing this to Charming?"

"Of course not. Charming stays safe. That has always been Samcro's rule, but they have a plan to branch out. They're making allies and doing their best to pave the way for the transition, but if you come here and start pissing them off it could throw a wrench in the plan, so I'm asking you to leave."

When Roosevelt hesitated, Tara asked, "Did you hear about what happened to me and my son Abel before Samcro went in?"

"Yes, I did, and I'm glad it turned out all right. I'm glad you and your son made it out of all of that safe."

"So am I, but Jax says it changed him. He said he doesn't want to live a life that puts his family, any of our families, in that kind of danger anymore. I don't have a lot of faith in Jax, but I can see he came out of prison differently than he went in. I've got a lot of skepticism, but as I said before, he's given me hope. He's told me his plan, and while it is all kinds of crazy, I think he just might be able to pull it off. So I'm asking you to leave. I'm asking you to give them a chance to carry their plans out."

"They killed those men, Doctor," Roosevelt insisted.

"And what would you do to protect your own? To defend your family and home? And again I remind you that no one who died that day was a saint. If circumstances were different I'm sure you'd have no problem putting a bullet in each of those men."

Hesitating, Roosevelt asked, "Your boys are really leaving guns?"

"I'm not confirming they are in guns to begin with, but I will say they have a plan to leave the violence and blood behind. So again, I'm asking you to give them a chance to carry it out. Don't back them into a corner. Don't force them into a tit for tat situation with you that can only escalate."

Roosevelt looked at the clubhouse for a moment before focusing on Tara and replying, "This is their only free pass, Doctor. The next time they disrespect me like this I'll be coming at them with everything I've got."

Smiling, Tara said, "I hear you, and thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, Doctor, I'm not making any promises. I'm a law enforcement agent, and I will do my best to bust bad guys. Your boys make a mistake and I'll be there. I'll be there and I'll show no mercy."

"Fair enough. You have a good day, Sheriff."

"You too, Doctor." Turning around Roosevelt pulled out his sunglasses and put them back on as he called out, "We're out of here."

Tara watched Roosevelt and his men leave before heading back onto the lot. She was greeted immediately by Piney and Happy grilling her as to what she and the sheriff had spoken of and she said, "We came to an understanding."

"What kind of understanding?" Piney pressed.

"He's pissed about the Russians you guys left at Charming Heights, but he's giving you a pass on it."

"Why?"

Smiling, Tara replied, "As I said, we came to an understanding."

Happy and Piney could only watch as Tara walked away back towards the clubhouse before Happy remarked, "That woman is all kinds of crazy."

"Yep, just the way Jax likes it," Piney laughed, following after her.

Happy could only grin as he headed after them.

Later that day Sheriff Roosevelt followed assistant U.S. attorney Lincoln Potter into the War Room. His eyes quickly scanned the wall of pictures of Samcro members and associates, and he began to realize the scope of the investigation Potter headed up. He listened as Potter gave him the rundown of what their investigation entailed but was surprised as Lincoln announced, "But we have credible intel that the Sons are leaving guns. Supposedly they are going into some new business, but we haven't established what it is yet. All we know is that there is supposed to be a deal on the table to transfer their gun business to the Mayans."

Hearing Doctor Knowles assertion that the Sons were leaving guns stunned Eli before he asked, "You certain of the intel?"

Nodding his head, Potter replied, "Very certain. From what we know Galindo approached the Sons about muling their coke and while buying guns from them. Apparently the Sons turned them down flat. Refused to mule."

"Good for them."

Arching a brow, Potter asked, "Do I detect a hint of respect in your tone, Sheriff?"

"Yes, you do." Holding the odd man's game, Roosevelt said, "I got no love for Samcro, but I respect the fact they have never had anything to do with drugs and have made sure it never came into this town. And the fact they said no to a major drug cartel like Galindo? That takes balls. You've got to admit."

"Perhaps, but it does pose a problem for us. If the Sons are on their way out the door then any investigation into them will be pointless."

"So what does that do for your War Room?"

"For now? It means we're on hold. If the guns and coke aren't going to be in the Sons hands then there is no point in going after them. This isn't about the Sons, Sheriff, we want the pipelines of the guns and drugs. We want the Irish, we want Galindo, and we want anyone buying and selling for them. Seeing as how Samcro won't be a part of those pipelines they have no value to us. So for now we wait. We wait and we see how this all plays out. If the Mayans really do take over the drug and gun trade we'll be going after them," Potter explained.

"So what do you need from me?"

Potter considered the file he had on Juice, considered having Roosevelt go after the young MC member to try and leverage him, but he decided there was no point. With the Sons moving out of guns Juice would have no value to his investigation. It would be a short term gain and he was far more interested in long term results. He needed to find something on some of the Mayans. With that in mind, he said, "I don't need anything from you right now. My original plans for you are apparently no longer necessary. If the Sons are truly leaving guns and handing it off to the Mayans than this investigation will be leaving your jurisdiction and we'll be setting up somewhere else. So for now keep your ear to the ground and let me know if you get any evidence suggesting the Sons are staying in their current trade."

"Will do," Roosevelt agreed before heading out of the War Room. He couldn't believe that Doctor Knowles hadn't been lying to him. Samcro really was leaving guns. And if they were going into pussy? He didn't give a shit. As long as they kept it out of Charming. He was still skeptical, men like them didn't change easily, but he was willing to see how this played out.

Outside of Charming Jax and the others pulled up to the second establishment they were looking to take over. An escort business. Their meeting with Nero the day before had gone wonderfully. The man really and truly wanted to retire. He'd agreed to sell out to Samcro for $350,000 up front and $5,000 a month for the next five years. Apparently he had a farm he wanted to move to with his sick son, and that would be more than enough for him to live well on, especially with what he already had in savings. As Samcro would be bringing in over $800,000 a month selling guns to Galindo for the next six months, they would have more than enough money to meet Nero's price. And seeing as how Nero had shown them his books and proven to them his brothel brought in nearly $75,000 a month profit after expenses Jax was only all to eager to meet his price. He had been skeptical as to why Nero would want to sell in the first place with his business being so profitable, but the man had simply smiled at him and said, "My son is more important to me than my money. I've been at this a long time. I'm ready to retire."

Not to mention Nero had been candid with them that he ended up paying $15,000 a month in protection fees to gangs and police, and he was tired of the hassle. Clay and Jax had shared a look that said quite clearly that they weren't going to stand for that. Part of the reason they had pushed so hard for the Mayans and Galindo backing them was so that they wouldn't have to put up with shit like that. Once they took over they'd make it clear to these men who expected protection money that Samcro didn't owe anyone shit. Now, taking off his helmet and heading into the next brothel the Sons intended to take over, Jax couldn't help hoping this meeting went just as well as the one they'd had with Nero.

Once inside a middle aged blonde woman greeted, "Hello, Gentlemen, my name is Colette. How can I help you?"

Clay looked around for a moment before saying, "We need to speak to the owner."

Eyes moving from Clay to linger on Jax, her gaze appreciative, Colette replied, "That would be me."

Grinning, Clay asked, "You got an office? We need to have a word with you."

Gesturing behind her, Colette grinned, "Right this way, boys."

Once everyone was in the office Clay asked, "You heard of us?"

"I've heard of the Sons, yes," Colette answered, her gaze continuing to go to Jax. He was certainly a beautiful specimen of man and she was considering giving him a go for free.

"Well we're moving in. We're taking over the pussy trade. We're here to discuss buying you out."

That certainly brought Colette up short as she asked, "Are you serious?"

"Yep," Jax affirmed. He'd seen this woman eyeing him, and where once he would have reveled in the attention, he didn't appreciate it now. He just wanted to get their business done and get back to the clubhouse to work on regaining Tara's forgiveness. "So name your price."

"I don't have a price, because I have no interest in selling."

Clay and Jax shared a look again before Clay warned, "We're not taking no for an answer, Miss. We don't want this to get ugly, and we're willing to be generous, but we will definitely get our way in this. So it would really be best for you to just name a price."

Offering the older man a smile, Colette asked, "Do you really think I've never been threatened before?"

"Not by us, lass," Chibs chimed in from his place near the door.

"We don't hurt women," Bobby added, "but we know how to get what we want. We can rain a shit storm down on you if you force us to."

Colette looked at each man before focusing on Clay and adding, "I built this business from the ground up. I went from turning tricks on the corner for my pimp to running my own place, and I'm not about to walk away because you and your boys come strolling in here throwing your weight around. I've got friends."

"We know. We've already spoken to them, and they've agreed to stay out of it. They've got no interest in fucking with us or our allies," Clay replied with a smirk.

Standing as Clay rose beside him, Jax warned, "Give your friends a call, and hear what they have to say. Afterwards you decide if you really want this to get unpleasant. We're willing to pay good money, but we're not taking no for an answer. We'll be back next week to see if you've changed your mind."

"And if I haven't?" Colette challenged.

"Then this will definitely get interesting," Jax quipped before heading out of the office.

Nodding his head at her, Clay added, "You have a nice day, Ma'am."

Colette watched each of the Sons file out of her office. When they were gone she reached for her phone to begin calling all the people she had an alliance with. She needed to see if what she'd just heard was true, and if it was she'd have some hard decisions to make.

Back in Charming Tara rolled her eyes as Rat came towards her, barely visible behind the huge flower arrangement he was carrying, and muttered, "Not again."

Handing Abel to Gemma, who was grinning broadly at her, she ordered, "Put it by the other one, Rat."

Lyla, who was holding Thomas, came to stand next to Tara and remarked, "Almost as big as the one from yesterday. Opie better start sending me flowers or I'm going to kick his ass."

Tara just shook her head and moved forward to take the card from the flowers. She had no intention of opening it in front of anyone. From what Jax had written yesterday she figured it was deeply personal and she didn't want anyone seeing her reaction to his words. With that in mind she asked, "Will you guys watch the boys for a moment?"

"Sure thing, baby," Gemma agreed, pleased her son was finally starting to work to regain Tara's forgiveness.

Tara headed to Chucky's room, and once she was safely behind his closed door she leaned against it and tore open her note to read, "Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you? I do. I jerked off to that memory last night. Twice. Jax."

"Fuck," Tara muttered as she was pulled back in time, her memory of that day when they were 16 rushing to the forefront of her mind.

 _"But what if they come back, Jax?" Tara was so nervous being here in his mother and stepfather's house like this._

 _"They won't, babe," Jax assured as he backed Tara down the hall towards his bedroom, his hands on her hips as he smiled hungrily down at her. "They're in Vegas celebrating their one year anniversary. We have the place all to ourselves this weekend."_

 _Biting her lip, Tara pressed, "Are you sure?"_

 _"100 percent certain."_

 _Jax was desperate to get Tara to his bedroom. He'd first starting paying attention to Tara when she was 14 and began hanging out more with him and Opie. She wasn't like any other girl he'd ever met. She didn't fall all over herself to be around him, and only spoke to him when he initiated a conversation. She never wore any makeup, and seemed far more comfortable in jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers than the short skirts and tiny tops most of the girls they knew seemed so fond of. Not to mention she was smart. Like really smart. She actually had things to say, things to talk about, when he was around her. She didn't just agree with everything he said like all the other girls. She had opinions, ideas, and dreams that if he prodded hard enough she'd tell him about. Not to mention she could throw down like a man. He'd seen her knock the shit out of one girl for making fun of her drunk daddy, and damned if that hadn't been hot._

 _It was a little after her 15_ _th_ _birthday that he'd really began pursuing her. At first he hadn't been very serious about it, but with each and every rejection that Tara dealt him he became more and more determined to have her. By the time she'd finally agreed to go on a date with him six months ago a little after her 16_ _th_ _birthday, a whole year after he'd first set his sights on her, Jax was head over heels in love. Somewhere along the way it had stopped being about the challenge of nailing her, and had become about just fucking having her to himself. He wanted her to give that secret smile of hers only to him. He wanted her to share her thoughts and dreams only with him. Tara Knowles had become his fascination, his obsession, and when she'd finally agreed to go out with him? He'd felt like he'd won the fucking lottery._

 _Now, having her all to himself for an entire weekend, he couldn't wait to get her into his room and begin proving just how obsessed with her he was. Though he knew he'd need to take it slow and could only go so far. He had lost his virginity to a crow eater when he was 13 not too long after his dad died, but he knew Tara had never done anything with anyone until she started seeing him. It had been hard for him at first sticking to holding hands and brief make out sessions as Tara become more comfortable with intimacy, especially since he'd enjoyed a healthy sex life for three years now, but it had been worth it. Seeing Tara's shyness slowly melt away when she was in his arms, seeing her blush each time he took her hand, had made it all worth it, and while he had no intention of trying to go all the way with Tara tonight, especially since he knew she wasn't ready, that didn't mean he didn't want to explore new things._

 _Excited, but a little worried, Tara let Jax lead her into his bedroom. When he shut the door behind them Tara whispered, "Jax, I'm nervous."_

 _Hating that she sounded even slightly afraid, Jax took her face in his hands and soothed, "Hey, babe, if you want I got no problem ordering a pizza and hanging out on the couch all night watching those corny movies you like. You know that, right?"_

 _She did know that. Jax had pulled back each and every time she'd asked him to or shown the slightest bit of hesitation. He had been so fucking considerate of her feelings and fears, and it was part of the reason she wanted this with him. She'd already told him she wasn't ready to go all the way yet, but she did want to try new things—she was just so nervous._

 _Wanting him to understand she began, "No—I want to do this with you—it's just …"_

 _As her words trailed off, Jax asked, "What? Tara, you know you can tell me anything."_

 _Feeling so insecure Tara looked down at the floor and mumbled, "What if I mess up?"_

 _"Mess up?"_

 _Forcing herself to look back into his eyes, Tara explained, "Jax, you've been with lots of girls. You know what you're doing, what you like, and how to touch me. Me? I don't know anything. What if we do this and you don't like it?"_

 _Jax shook his head and laughed, "Babe, for someone so smart you can sure say some stupid shit sometime."_

 _When Tara started to look angry, Jax hurried, "Tara, it's not on you to make anything tonight go right. It's on me. You're right, I've got experience and you don't, which is why it's up to me to teach you, and, babe, the thought of teaching you gets me so fucking excited."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Really. Tara, I've been with lots of girls but with them it has always been sex. With you? It's about everything else. I don't want to ever have sex with you, Tara, I want to make love to you."_

 _Tara's eyes went wide as she gasped, "You love me?"_

 _Realizing what he'd just admitted and suddenly feeling vulnerable himself, Jax whispered, "Yeah, I do. Tara, I've loved you for the longest time. Even before we started dating."_

 _"You can't be serious."_

 _"I am. When I first started going after you I'll admit it was about the chase. Every time you turned me down it made me want you all the more. But as I spent more time around you, as I learned more about you, I couldn't help it. I just fell in love with you. And when you finally agreed to go on a date with me? Babe, I was up the whole night before worrying about where to take you, what to say, hell even what to wear. I wanted you to like me as much as I liked you."_

 _Smiling widely, Tara assured, "I did, Jax—I mean I do! I said no to you all those times because I didn't want to be just another girl to you. I already loved you too, and the thought of having you and losing you was too much."_

 _His own smile widening, Jax asked, "You love me?"_

 _"I have for the longest time. Much longer than you've loved me."_

 _"Since when?"_

 _Thinking back to that day on the playground when they were 11 and Jax Teller had so unexpectedly kissed her, Tara replied, "Wouldn't you like to know."_

 _"You're not going to tell me?"_

 _"Maybe one day."_

 _Jax decided to let the matter drop for now before continuing, "Well as long as you love me I don't care when you started just so long as you do."_

 _Still feeling very shy, Tara leaned up and kissed him softly before whispering, "Take me to bed, Jax. Teach me."_

 _"Fuck, Tara."_

 _Sweeping her up into his arms Jax strode to his bed and set her gently down before pushing her back and moving to lie atop her. Keeping himself poised over her he dipped his head down and claimed her lips in a gentle kiss that quickly built in heat. Soon enough his hand was slipping under her shirt to trail up her ribs and brush the underside of her bra._

 _Beneath him Tara felt Jax's hand moving expertly across her heated flesh while his tongue stroked and teased hers into submission. The feelings he was invoking in her were all consuming, making her blood boil and her body burn. She arched beneath him and tore her mouth away from his as she cried out, "Jax!"_

 _Hearing the desire in her tone, and loving how she was responding to her touch, Jax begged, "Tara, can I—can I take your clothes off?"_

 _Tara hesitated only a moment before she replied, "Only if you take yours off too."_

 _"It's a deal."_

 _Standing from the bed Jax held Tara's gaze as he kicked off his shoes and socks while pulling his shirt over his head. Refusing to look away from her shy yet heated gaze he undid his belt buckle before unzipping his pants and slowly shoving his pants and boxers down. Naked now he stood there and watched as Tara's eyes zeroed in on his hard cock. She'd never actually seen it before, and had only touched it once a few weeks ago when she'd given him a handjob at one of Opie's parties after they had snuck away from everyone else to find some privacy in Piney's room._

 _"Fuck, was it that big before?"_

 _Grinning, pleased she seemed impressed as she studied him while lying propped up on his bed on her elbows, Jax purred, "One day you'll find out just how good it will make you feel, but tonight is all about you, babe."_

 _Tara did her best to hold onto her courage as Jax moved to kneel over her. She moved her arms when necessary as Jax pulled her AC/DC t-shirt over head. Suddenly she wished she'd been wearing some of the nice lingerie all the girls in school seemed to blow all their money on instead of the simple white lace bra and panties she had on, but considering Jax was practically drooling over she figured he didn't care at all._

 _Jax never looked away from Tara's eyes as he reached under her to unsnap her bra before slowly pulling it down her arms and tossing it over his shoulder. When she was bare from the waist up he whispered, "So fucking beautiful, baby, so fucking beautiful."_

 _Tara could only gasp when Jax leaned down to envelope the nipple of her left breast in his hot mouth while his hand went to her other. "Of fuck! Jax!"_

 _He felt her hands dig into his shaggy hair and pull him close while her knees rose up to clutch his torso to her as she arched beneath him, pushing more of her breast into his mouth. His eyes slid closed as he savored the flavor of her and began twirling his tongue around the rosy peak, teasing it into hardness while his hand cupped and massaged her other breast._

 _The feelings Jax was invoking in her were overwhelming to Tara. Low moans escaped her throat as she felt Jax work her body so expertly and she felt herself getting increasingly wet. She undulated beneath him, wanting as much of her body against his as possible, and begged, "The rest, Jax, take the rest off! I want to feel all of you."_

 _Rising up to grin down at her, Jax said, "Yes, Ma'am."_

 _Looking at her with heated and hungry eyes, Jax moved to kneel at the end of the bed and quickly removed Tara's sneakers and socks. His eyes never left hers as he then undid her pants and began to pull them and her simple white panties down her long legs. When they were free of her body he tossed them to the side and gazed at Tara completely naked before him for the very first time. She didn't shave like all the other girls he'd been with, but she was neatly trimmed. His mouth began to water and he couldn't wait to get his mouth on her most intimate area, but he knew she wasn't ready for him to just dive in._

 _Instead he slowly moved back over her to capture her lips with his own and kiss the breath right out of her. When she began clutching at him desperately, pressing her body up into his he knew she was ready for him to go further. Pulling back he whispered, "Don't think, Tara, just feel. Just feel me and let go."_

 _"O—okay."_

 _When Jax began kissing his way down her chest to once again take hold of her nipple while his other hand smoothed along the underside of her other breast, Tara gasped, "Oh fuck, Jax!"_

 _His tongue was driving her to distraction, and his other hand was alternately pulling gently at her free nipple and kneading her breast. The combination of the caresses was driving her crazy! Her hands smoothed up his back as she begged, "Oh please, Jax!" She didn't know what she was begging for, all she knew was that she needed it and only Jax could provide it._

 _She was ready for more. With that in mind Jax began slowly kissing his way down her body, stopping to swirl his tongue around her navel and press soft kisses to the dips in her hips before he finally settled between her legs. Hooking them over his shoulders Jax considered Tara's sex before him. Her tiny little curls hide her soft folds from him and he couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to press a kiss to her entrance. One day he'd be in there. One day she's open herself to him and he'd slide into her, taking her virginity and sealing the bond between them forever, but for now he meant only to make love to her with his mouth._

 _Tara arched off the bed and cried out in wonder when Jax's tongue slipped inside her. She felt him lick all along the seam of her sex before his tongue sought out her clit and began to circle it slowly. "Holy fuck! Jax!"_

 _When Tara's legs tightened around his shoulders as her hands went straight to his head to bury themselves into his hair and press him close, Jax growled with pure male satisfaction. Knowing he was making the oh so cool and aloof Tara Knowles come apart was definitely an ego stroke, and he swore to himself he'd make her come so many times tonight she'd be delirious by dawn. With growing determination and desire Jax used his fingers to spread Tara open to him completely, exposing her small clitoris to his hungry mouth. Sealing his lips around the little bundle of nerves he knew would drive her crazy, Jax began to suck and tease the little pearl of flesh with his mouth and tongue._

 _"Jesus Christ!"_

 _Tara had never known anything could feel like this. She'd touched herself of course, but none of her late night ministrations beneath her covers had ever felt like this. Fire was coursing through her body and she felt like the world was coming apart around her. Her eyes clenched shut as her body arched off the bed, desperately trying to get as close to Jax's mouth as possible._

 _The taste of Tara was exploding across his tongue. He'd gone done on more than a few women over the past three years, but none of them had tasted like Tara, and he'd certainly never enjoyed having his mouth on them like he was his girl. The flavor of her carried a hint of honey, and he savored her as her juices moved across his tongue. While he continued to work her clit, driving Tara into a frenzy, he moved one of his hands lower to slip a finger down and tease her entrance. He found her wet with desire for him and easily slid his digit inside her warm heat. Fuck she was so wet for him, and it drove him wild. His cock was hard and aching, pulsing between his legs and practically begging him to bury himself inside her, but he held himself back._

 _Feeling Jax's finger slide softly and slowly inside her as his mouth continued driving her crazy had Tara begging, "Please don't stop! Please don't stop!"_

 _He never would. He would never stop touching Tara. He would happily spend the rest of his life exploring Tara's body if she would let him. Beginning to tease her walls with his finger, Jax sucked harder at her clit, loving the way Tara mewled and moaned with each of his ministrations._

 _She couldn't hold back the tidal wave of emotions tearing through her, the sheer pleasure Jax was giving her body, and as his finger began to work inside her as his mouth sped up she found herself bucking into him, clutching at his hair as she gasped, "Oh please! Oh please! Oh please!"_

 _Her cries did nothing but spur him on, his cock seeming to respond to the sound of her voice with each and every breathless exclamation, and all too Tara came apart in his arms. She arched high into his mouth and cried out his name while her walls clenched around his finger and her legs practically became a vice around his shoulders. Her sweet essence coated his tongue and he greedily lapped up every last drop._

 _When he knew she couldn't take any more he slowly withdrew his finger, licking it clean, and then kissed his way back up Tara's body when her legs released their tight hold from around his shoulders. Her expression, so delirious and filled with wonder, made him so fucking proud of himself. He'd done that. He'd made her look like that, and he couldn't wait to do it again._

 _Tara wrapped her arms around Jax's shoulders when he leaned down to capture her mouth with his own. She could taste herself on his lips, and she returned his embrace eagerly. She had never felt anything like what Jax had just done with her, and she couldn't help but wonder why she'd been so afraid to begin with. She couldn't wait to do this with him more often._

 _After a moment Jax finally pulled back and grinned down cockily at Tara as he asked, "You like?"_

 _Grinning right back up at him, Tara smoothed her hand along his cheek and replied, "I definitely like."_

 _"So can I suck your pussy every day now?"_

 _"Jax!" Tara couldn't help but giggle. He talked dirty to her all the time, and it always made her stomach flutter, but now that they were actually doing all the things he'd been whispering in her ear for the last six months, it definitely had her blood boiling._

 _Leaning down to nuzzle and kiss that special spot behind her ear that always made her shiver, Jax purred, "You taste fucking amazing, Tara. So sweet. I could spend the rest of my life with my head buried between your thighs if you'd let me."_

 _Clearly shocked, Tara asked, "Really? Stephanie Thompson said you didn't like eating pussy." Tara hated Stephanie Thompson. Absolutely hated the girl that was constantly telling her how she wasn't good enough for Jax, that he would get bored with her._

 _Scowling at the memory of one of the cheerleaders he'd made the mistake of fucking before getting together with Tara, a girl that hadn't been able to take a hint and spent months practically stalking him, Jax denied, "No, I didn't like sucking her pussy. Or any other girls for that matter."_

 _Her shock growing, Tara pressed, "Why not?"_

 _"Because they're not you. Any other girl I went down on, Tara, it was because I felt like I had to. They gave me oral so I gave them oral, but I never really wanted to. I never really enjoyed it. It was just something I did because they did it for me. I never loved them. You're the only girl I've ever wanted to be with like this. You're the only girl I've ever wanted to drop to my knees for."_

 _While Tara usually hated hearing about all the girls that Jax had been with, what he was telling her now made her so fucking happy. Smiling up at him she let her fingers softly trail over his brow and down his cheek to trace his lips as she whispered, "I'm glad, Jax, because I want to be like this with you forever."_

 _Kissing her fingers, Jax replied, "Me too, Tara. Me and you? We're going to have forever."_

Tara's eyes slowly opened as she let the memory of that night slowly fade. She and Jax had certainly done more that night, and she'd even considered giving him her virginity, actually offered, but Jax had surprisingly denied her. He said he knew she wasn't ready, and he didn't want her to regret anything about them. So instead he had made love to her with his mouth time and again that night. He'd never once let her reciprocate, and simply said that weekend was all about her. He'd only let her give him one handjob before he'd shouldered his way right back between her legs to feast on her again.

Smiling softly at the memory and enjoying the feelings it invoked in her she whispered, "Oh Jax. My sweet Jax." She couldn't stop the hope from flaring up bright and strong inside her. She knew things certainly weren't right between them, but her biker was certainly making headway into healing her heart, and she finally started to believe that he might truly be able to fix what he'd destroyed between them.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm not going to go into Potter's case trying to nail the gun and coke pipelines. In the show it ended up being shut down because Galindo is backed by the CIA, so obviously in my story since Potter is going to be going after the Mayans his investigation will still be shut down since Galindo is still backed by the CIA. So that plot point has no bearing on my story. I think I tied up that issue neatly in the last chapter. The Sons are leaving guns and refusing to mule coke, so Potter has no use for them. So that is the end of that particular issue from the show in my story.

This chapter is a bit of a filler chapter. It is all Tara and Jax, and I wrote it to show just how connected they are, how emotionally dependant they are to one another. They come to a bit of a truce in this chapter, but be assured it is only temporary. Jax still has some major groveling to do, and we still have plenty of people looking to come between them, but I figured we needed to see a bit of why these two belong together.

Chapter 9

Later that day Jax and the others pulled into the Samcro lot. After leaving Colette's Jax had taken the others to see the apartment complex in Lodi he'd been checking out online while on the inside. They'd walked through it as Jax detailed the renovations and additions he wanted to make, and his estimate of how much it would cost them to get the job done considering the free labor of the prospects. Clay, who was more and more coming to the conclusion that the changes that Jax was pushing for were best for Samcro, even made some suggestions of his own, as did the rest of the guys. After a few hours touring the place and seeing what work needed to be done, Clay said once they got their next payment from Galindo for their guns they'd make an offer and get to work. Feeling especially excited that they were making so much headway in going in a new direction Jax pulled into the lot with his brothers feeling pretty great.

Eyes scanning the crowd, looking for Tara and his boys amongst the sea of families still on lockdown, Jax frowned when he didn't see them. Figuring they must be inside Jax headed into the clubhouse and began searching for his old lady and boys. He found his mom and Lyla with Thomas while Abel played tag with some of the other young kids. Bending down to kiss the top of Thomas's head from where he sat in his mother's lap, and managing to catch Abel for a quick kiss before his toddler took off again, Jax asked his mother, "Where's Tara?"

"She got called into the hospital for an emergency. Happy followed her."

"How long has she been gone?"

"Few hours now. She said she'd call when she was done and they were on their way back."

Seeing as how they had no more plans for the night except dinner, Jax said, "I'll go relieve Happy then."

As Jax turned to head out of the clubhouse he rolled his eyes as Tig and Chibs made a big show of smelling the two flower arrangements he'd bought for Tara so far. Tig, grinning up at his brother as he pointedly admired the large red rose arrangement on the bar, teased, "Aren't these flowers pretty, Chibs?"

"Aye, they are brother. Wonder why no one ever sends me such pretty flowers."

"You ain't got a pussy, that's why." Grinning at Jax, Tig prodded, "Hey Prince, if I get pissed at you do I get some pretty flowers?"

"Fuck both of you," Jax growled as he continued out of the clubhouse. He didn't give a shit what any of his brothers said. He was going to keep sending Tara flowers and reminding her of why they belonged together for as long as it would take to get her back.

The guys just laughed and once Jax was gone, Tig asked Gemma, "You think the flowers are working, Gem? It's about time this rift between Jax and our dear doc ends. Don't like our family at odds."

Bouncing Thomas on her lap while Abel ran around the clubhouse with some of the other kids, Gemma replied, "I think whatever Jax is putting in his notes is doing far more to earn Tara's forgiveness than the flowers. Though they are a nice touch."

"Tara show you her notes? I'm a tad interested as to what Jackie boy has to say myself," Chibs remarked while taking the beer one of the club hangarounds passed him. He eyed the boy a bit. He was a young thing, maybe 20 years old, but the kid seemed eager to please and had a good look about him. If he remembered correctly the boy's name was Andrew, and had proven himself useful a time or two. Considering Clay's mandate that each member bring two new prospects to the table Chibs gave him a good once over. Liking the look of the kid he decided to keep an eye on him. If the boy held up to scrutiny than Chibs would offer to sponsor him for prospecting. The kid was definitely no Half Sac, who had truly been one of a kind, but he could make a decent Son.

Shaking her head, Gemma denied, "No. She's keeping those to herself, but considering how long she locks herself in Chucky's room after reading them I'm guessing Jax is saying the right things."

"Here's hoping," Tig commented.

A little while later Jax was making his way down the hospital corridor towards Tara's office. One of the nurses had told him that Happy was holed up in there since Tara was in emergency surgery. Coming to her door he opened it without knocking and found Happy at his old lady's desk playing poker on her computer.

"Hey, Jax. Tara said she won't be out of surgery until around 7. I'm just waiting for her."

"I know. Came to relieve you. You can head on back to the clubhouse and I'll bring Tara back."

Eager to get back to the clubhouse and find a nice croweater to suck his cock, Happy stood and headed out of the office as he replied, "Thanks. I can have much more fun at the clubhouse."

"I'm sure." As Happy went to pass him Jax asked, "Are you going to tell me what Tara did to give you that black eye?"

Scowling, Happy countered, "She didn't tell you?"

"No, she just said you made a mistake and she made sure you regretted it."

"Let's just say your old lady has acquired some new tricks while we were inside."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"Nope. I'm sure you'll find out yourself soon enough."

When Happy was gone Jax shut the office door and moved to sit in Tara's chair. He smiled at the pictures she had of Abel and Thomas on her desk, but scowled at the fact there wasn't one of him, or them for that matter. A mistake he intended to correct very soon. He was going to play poker online like Happy, but instead he found himself rummaging around Tara's things. He went through her drawers but found nothing but the usual odds and ends her job probably entailed. Swirling around in her chair he pursued the books she had on the bookshelf behind her desk. Not recognizing any of the titles he pulled out one of the biggest ones and read the title, "Practical Management of Pediatric and Adult Brachial Plexus Palsies."

"Fuck," Jax muttered, "what the hell does that even mean?"

Putting it back he grabbed another and read, "Aminoff's Electrodiagnosis in Clinical Neurology."

Placing that book back he grabbed yet another one and read, "Fanaroff and Martin's Neonatal-Perinatal Medicine."

Rolling the chair towards the desk Jax opened up the book and tried to read some of the text, but the words might as well have been written in Russian. As he flipped through the pages of complex diagrams and illustrations, not to mention long ass words he couldn't even begin to comprehend, Jax couldn't help but smile as he thought, ' _Tara actually understands all this shit. She understands these words and knows how to use them to fix babies. My woman. My woman can do this shit._ '

Pride and awe swelled within him in equal measure, and once again Jax couldn't help but marvel at the fact Tara had come back to him with all this knowledge. His Tara had come back to him a fucking surgeon. A doctor that saved babies. He was so fucking proud of her, so proud of everything she had achieved despite all the obstacles facing her. Realizing he had never actually told her how amazed he was by what she had done, what she did on a daily basis, he was determined to do so the next time he saw her. Putting the book back he whispered, "My girl. So amazing."

For the next few hours Jax amused himself with games on Tara's computer. A little before 9 he smiled when Tara opened her office door and greeted, "Hey, babe."

Looking surprised and very tired as she stepped into her office and closed the door behind her, Tara asked, "Where's Happy?"

"Sent him back to the clubhouse. Told him I'd bring you back."

When Tara didn't respond, and seeing she looked so distraught, Jax asked, "Everything ok? Happy said your surgery would be over around 7, it's almost 9."

Tears filling her eyes, Tara whispered brokenly, "No. No it's not ok."

When Tara suddenly burst into tears Jax jumped up from her desk and rushed to take her in his arms. He half expected her to push him away but she surprised him by burring into his embrace as she cried harder. "Tara, fuck, babe, what's wrong?"

Knowing she shouldn't be letting him hold her like this, but desperately needing his comfort, Tara sobbed, "She died!"

"Who died?"

"The baby! I tried so hard, Jax! I worked on her for hours, but—but she died! Her parents were in a car accident and they both died. We had to take her out of her mother's stomach. Jax, I worked so hard! I did everything! But she still died!"

Realizing that the emergency surgery she had been called in for had ended in the worst possible way, Jax picked Tara up in his arms and moved to sit on the couch with her in his lap as he soothed, "Shhh, Tara, baby it's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I should have saved her! It was my job to save her!"

As Tara began to sob harder, relating the awful story of the accident and subsequent surgery between sobs, Jax realized she was in no shape to be reasoned with, so instead he clutched her tighter and began rocking her back and forth in his arms as he whispered comforting words in her ear and stroked her hair. Through it all Tara clutched desperately at Jax, crying into his chest as she let her pain run its course. A mother had been brought in to the emergency room after being in a car accident. Her husband had been pronounced dead at the scene. EMTs had done their best to keep the wife stable during transport, but she had gone into cardiac arrest moments after arriving, and things had gotten worse very fast.

They'd had no choice but to go in for the baby when the mother couldn't be saved, and as soon as they'd opened her up they'd seen that the baby had suffered massive trauma as well. She and Dr. Namid had worked furiously to try to save the baby girl, but their efforts had failed. She died. When she'd flat lined Tara's heart had dropped into her stomach, and she'd worked to bring her back long after Dr. Namid had pronounced time of death. In the end her colleague had been forced to pull her away, literally dragging her back from the tiny baby that had never had a chance.

Knowing she shouldn't let Jax comfort her like this, but needing him to help her put herself back together, Tara pressed herself close to him and sobbed her pain, frustration, and anger into his chest. Through it all Jax held her. He held her close and did his best to soothe her. When her sobs finally began to recede, he took her face in his hands and brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs as he stared into her red swollen eyes. The pain he saw there broke his heart, and he wanted desperately to soothe it away. "Oh Tara, I'm so sorry."

"I couldn't save her, Jax. She died. She died because I couldn't save her."

"No, Tara, _no_. She died because of the accident." Looking down at this woman he loved so much, admired and respected more and more by the day, Jax insisted, "Tara, you have to know you can't save everyone. This wasn't your fault."

"It was! If I had just—"

"No. Don't do that. Don't start second guessing yourself. You know as well as I do, as well as everyone that was in that operating room with you, that you did everything you could to save her. It wasn't your fault, and you did nothing wrong. Tara, babe, this was just a horrible accident, but none of it was your fault."

Her nose was running and she was a complete mess, and still she had never been more beautiful to him. Staring down into the distraught face of this woman he loved so much, Jax comforted, "Tara, it was an accident. An accident you didn't cause, and one you tried really hard to fix, but, baby, you can't fix everything. You're not God, and no one expects you to be."

Fresh tears filling her eyes, Tara whispered, "She was just a baby, Jax. Just a little baby. And she was so broken. I tried—I tried so hard! But—but there was just so much damage! She—she just faded away."

"And that's not your fault. Tara, you work miracles on a daily basis, but in the end when it's time it's time. You can't stop death, baby. No one can. You did your best, and that's all anyone can expect from you. This isn't your fault."

"It's not fair," Tara whimpered, her heart aching for the little girl that would never grow up. The little girl that would never run or play. Would never sit on Santa's lap at the mall. Would never be in a school play or have a first crush or experience her first kiss. A little girl that should have had the world before her. A little girl that should have had far more time than she did.

"No it's not," Jax agreed, "but that's life. Sometimes it's good to us, and sometimes it kicks our asses. Today was a bad day, Tara, but that's not your fault."

Leaning to the side Jax grabbed some of the tissues Tara had at the end table by the couch and brought one to her nose as he ordered softly, "Blow."

Tara knew she should feel a little self conscious that Jax was seeing her like this, with her eyes red and swollen from her crying and snot running from her nose, but she didn't. She was just thankful for his presence and unconditional support. She could only hold his gentle gaze as she blew her nose into the tissue, and the one after that and appreciated the comfort Jax was giving her.

Jax went through five tissues before Tara was finally done blowing her nose and then he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks as he said, "Come on, babe. Let's go see the boys."

"I need to write up my report."

"You can do that tomorrow," Margaret said from the door. She'd been working late and heard about the terrible end to the surgery Tara had been called in for. She'd come to offer the younger woman her support, but when she'd opened the office door she'd been brought up short by the sight of Jax Teller clutching Tara to him desperately, doing his best to soothe her pain as she fell apart in his arms, crying hysterically over the little girl she hadn't been able to save. They had been so caught up in each other that neither noticed her entrance, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from watching the very intimate scene unfold before her.

Margaret had no love for Jax Teller. She thought the outlaw biker wasn't good enough for Tara, and she was certain he didn't love Tara the way she deserved, but in that moment Margaret began to understand just how deep the bond between Jax and Tara ran. As she'd watched Jax hold Tara so tightly while whispering sweet soothing words to her before doing his best to make Tara understand the girl's death hadn't been her fault, Margaret couldn't help but admit that Jax Teller most definitely loved Tara Knowles. Completely and unequivocally.

Though Margaret was still determined to do her best to help Tara move on from the biker, in this moment she urged him, "Take her home. Take her home and take care of her."

Jax knew the older woman didn't like him, but he couldn't help but say, "Thanks."

Focusing back on Tara Jax stood with her in his arms before setting her on her feet. Wiping away the fresh tears on her cheeks he ordered softly, "Grab your stuff, Tara. We're going home."

Tara didn't say anything as she grabbed her bag and returned to Jax side. She let him take her hand and as he led her out of the office she smiled softly at Margaret, more tears spilling down her cheeks, and whispered, "Thanks."

"Go home, Tara. Go home and see your boys."

Margaret could only watch them go. She watched as Jax wrapped an arm around Tara's shoulders and pulled her close as he led her down the hall and around the corner, and thought to herself, ' _He really does love her, but will it be enough?_ "

Once outside Jax handed Tara his helmet and started up his bike as she climbed on behind him and soon enough they were on their way back to the clubhouse. He felt her arms wrapped tightly around him as she pressed herself into his back, and while he enjoyed having her this close, he hated how badly she was hurting. He'd never given much thought to some of the awful thing she must see on a daily basis, and once again he felt his admiration and respect for this woman soar. His Tara was a true crusader, a woman dedicated to saving others, and he felt humbled to be in her presence.

Once they pulled into the clubhouse Jax waited for Tara to climb off from behind him and take his helmet off before taking her hand and leading her towards the clubhouse. She was still visibly distraught and many watched their progress as they headed inside.

As soon as Tara passed the clubhouse door she pulled her hand from Jax's and hurried towards the back where she knew her boys would be asleep in Chucky's room. She needed to see them. She needed to hold them. She needed her sons so fucking much right then. She heard several people call out to her as she rushed past but she didn't respond or stop. She needed to get to her boys.

"Tara!" Gemma watched a crying Tara run past her, ignoring her as she called out to the younger woman, before she turned around and hissed at her son who was following his old lady at a slower pace, "What the fuck did you do!"

Clay, just as concerned from the sight of Tara so upset, stood and warned, "Son, if you've broken that girl's heart again I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

"We all will," Tig agreed, staring off after Tara for a moment before glaring at Jax who had come to a stop at the bar.

Opie, pissed that Tara was crying again, demanded, "Jax, what did you do now?"

Jax shook his head and denied, "I didn't do anything. Tara's surgery didn't end well."

Gemma's anger quickly deflated, and she asked, "What happened?"

"There was a car accident. Husband and wife. The husband died at the scene but the wife held on long enough to make it to St. Thomas. She died soon after arrival. She was pregnant and they went in for the baby. It was a little girl." Staring off after his old lady, Jax finished sadly, "She didn't make it, and Tara blames herself."

"Oh shit," Bobby muttered, "that's got to be rough."

Lyla stood from Opie's lap and suggested, "Maybe I should go talk to her."

Shaking her head, Gemma said, "No. She needs Jax. She needs Jax, Abel, and Thomas."

Focusing her gaze on her son, Gemma urged, "Go take care of your old lady."

Jax nodded his head at his mother before heading towards Chucky's room. When he was gone, Tig said, "Fuck. I don't see how Tara can do that shit. Dead babies? I couldn't do that."

"Me neither," Opie added as he pulled Lyla back into his lap.

Wrapping her arm around her husband, Lyla offered, "I never really thought about what Tara does, but she must go through that a lot. I don't see how she stands it."

"She does it because she's a healer," Gemma answered, gazing off after her son and Tara for a moment before focusing back on the others. "Tara's strong, and she's a healer. She saves people. It's what she does."

Snapping her fingers at one of the crow eaters, Gemma ordered, "Go to the store and buy all the ingredients to make banana cream pancakes, and make sure you get butter flavored syrup."

"What's that for?" Clay asked as he pulled his wife close while the crow eater scrambled away to fulfill Gemma's orders.

"It's Tara's favorite. I'll make them for breakfast in the morning."

Kissing his wife, Clay whispered in her ear so no one else would hear him, "You're a good mother."

A warm feeling spread through Gemma's heart at Clay's words as she thought, ' _Tara is definitely my daughter. No matter what happens between her and Jax, that girl is my family._ '

After a moment of silence, Happy asked, "Should we do something?"

Shaking her head, Gemma replied, "No. Tara needs her boys right now. All three of them. That's what will get her through it."

Back in Chucky's room Jax moved towards the bed Tara was standing next to while staring down at their boys. He moved to stand beside her and slowly reached for her hand, hoping that she wouldn't pull away from him. He knew she was still pissed at him, still hurt from his betrayal of her, but he wanted to be there for her to help her through this. He had no delusions that even if Tara let him comfort her tonight tomorrow she would push him away again, but he could live with that. As long as she let him help her tonight, because he needed to take this pain from her. He couldn't stand to see her this way. Beside him, tears still dripping down her cheeks as she gazed at her boys and thought about the little girl she hadn't been able to save, Tara squeezed Jax's hand lightly and without looking at him said, "This doesn't change anything. I still haven't forgiven you."

"I know, but right now you need me."

Looking up at him, tears slipping down her cheeks, Tara whispered, "Yes I do. Tonight I need you to hold me and make me feel better."

"And I will, and I promise tomorrow when you banish me again I won't give you any lip about it."

When Tara arched a brow, Jax gave her a soft smile and amended, "Well at least for tomorrow. I'll give you a whole day before I start begging you to let me back into your bed."

Tara couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her as she remarked, "A whole day huh?"

"Every day away from you is torture, Tara, so I can't promise more than that."

Tara didn't say anything else as she kicked off her shoes before leaning down to move the wall of pillows Gemma or Lyla must have put up to make sure Abel and Thomas didn't roll of the bed. Once she'd made room she crawled into bed and curled herself around her boys, smoothing her fingers softly over the features as she whispered, "My beautiful boys. I love you so much. So, so much."

Jax watched the interaction with a soft smile before he kicked off his own shoes and moved to wrap himself around Tara. Chucky's bed was pushed against the wall, and Thomas was closest to it, with Abel next to him. Tara was practically curled around them, her hand going from one to the other, stroking their sweet faces and settling on their chests for a few moments, as if to assure herself they were still breathing, that they were still with her. Through it all Jax simply watched, he watched this woman who loved both his sons equally and without reservation, and he promised himself he would always protect them. He would never let anyone hurt them. Ever. Wrapping his own arm around Tara's waist as he buried his face into her hair he ordered softly, "Sleep, Tara, tomorrow will be better."

Tears still slipping down her cheeks, her heart hurting so badly as she stared at her boys, Tara whispered, "Goodnight, Jax."

Kissing her shoulder, Jax replied, "Goodnight, Tara. I love you."

Tara's only response was to pull Jax's arm closer around her before closing her eyes. Tomorrow she'd push him away again. Tomorrow she'd remind herself of all the reasons she couldn't trust him, couldn't be with him, but for now? Now she desperately needed Jax's arms around her, she needed to feel the comfort of his embrace to find the strength to face another day.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not speak Spanish. I used a translator so please forgive any mistakes. I also couldn't figure out how to put any of the accent marks. Sorry. Also, not a lot of action in this chapter, but we are definitely heading into it.

Chapter 10

The next morning Tara, Jax and Abel were woken by Thomas crying because he was wet and hungry. Pushing herself up and rubbing at her still swollen eyes from crying herself to sleep Tara said, "I'll take Abel if you do Thomas."

"Sure thing, babe," Jax agreed as he waited for Tara to lift Abel and move off the bed before he reached for his fussy youngest son. "Come on little man, let's get you changed."

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Abel complained as he watched his mom spread a baby blanket on the floor before reaching into the diaper bag to get one of his training diapers and some new clothes.

"I know, baby, and as soon as we get you changed Daddy can take you to get something to eat while I feed Thomas."

"Ok."

Tara made quick work of stripping Abel out of yesterday's clothes and his wet diaper before getting him dressed for the day. By the time she was done Jax was finished as well and they traded boys before Jax said he was going to take Abel into the clubhouse and see about breakfast.

"Ok." Tara was feeling very exposed. She'd appreciated his presence last night, his silent support, but she knew she needed to reestablish boundaries. She still didn't trust him, and at this point she was still pretty sure that they wouldn't work out, so she needed to pull back. The problem was she was still hurting. Her emotions were so raw. She couldn't get that little girl out of her mind, couldn't get the sight of her taking her last breath as her little body succumbed to its injuries to stop playing before her eyes. She still needed Jax at her side, needed his presence to make her feel better.

As Tara situated herself on the bed and opened her shirt and nursing bra before bringing Thomas to her breast she thought, ' _After today. After today I'll make him keep his distance._ '

It was a few minutes later that Tara's musing were interrupted by Jax and Abel returning to the bedroom. Arching a brow, Tara asked, "You guys already eat?"

Shaking his head and moving to sit in the chair with Abel in his laps, his eyes once again drawn to the sight of his youngest son nursing greedily at his mother's breast, Jax replied, "No. Ma waited to start breakfast until we woke up. She wanted to make sure it was fresh and hot for you."

Smiling at Gemma's thoughtfulness, Tara said, "That's sweet of her."

Jax couldn't help chuckling, "I still can't get used to hearing shit like that come out of yours and her mouths all the time. The fact you two are so close is so fucking strange to me."

"Fucking! Fuck, fuck fuck!"

"Abel! You don't say that," Tara admonished before glaring at the guilty looking Jax as she hissed, "What did I tell you about your mouth?"

"Sorry, Tara, I keep forgetting he repeats everything he hears."

"Fuck!" Abel giggled as he played with his Spider Man action figure while sitting in his father's lap.

Drawing his oldest son's attention to him Jax explained, "Abel, your mother told you not to say that word. You know better than to use grown up words. So no more."

"You said it Daddy," Abel argued.

"And he's not going to anymore," Tara added from across the room, still glaring at Jax before adding, "and if you say it again Abel you won't get your desert tonight."

That got Abel's attention and he promised, "Ok Mommy. I won't say it."

"That's my good boy."

The room lapsed into silence for a few moments with Abel amusing himself with his toy while both Tara and Jax watched Thomas feeding before Jax asked softly, "How are you?"

Looking up at him, her eyes still haunted from the day before, she whispered, "I'll live."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Tara hesitated a moment before saying, "It hurts. I wanted to save her so badly. She was so small, Jax, so small and so broken."

"It's not your fault, Tara," Jax insisted.

"That doesn't make it hurt any less. I should have saved her. I should have done something differently, worked faster—I—just something. _Anything_."

"Tara," Jax soothed, "you can't save everyone, babe."

"You saved me, Mommy!"

As his parents both looked at him Abel pulled up his Spider Man t-shirt to show his stomach and chest and pointed at the two scars he had. "See? Right here, Mommy! This is where you fixed my tummy and my heart. Grandma says so. She said you fixed me and made me strong."

Tears filling her eyes, Tara gasped, "Oh Abel."

His own heart melting at Abel's innocent declaration that could do far more to ease Tara's pain than any of his assurances, Jax quickly agreed, "That's right, Abel, your mommy saved you. You were hurt when you were born and your mommy fixed you."

Looking up at Tara he added, "Because she loves you. She's loved you from the moment you were born."

Tears slipping down her cheeks as she held Jax's gaze, Tara affirmed, "Yes I have. I've always loved him."

Abel, not understanding the deep emotions and thoughts his parents were sharing with so few words announced, "That makes you a hero, Mommy! Just like Spider Man! Cause heroes save people! So you're a hero!"

"Damn right she is," Jax agreed.

"What's damn, Daddy?"

"Jax!"

"Shit, sorry!"

"Shit!"

"Abel! I told you yesterday not to say that word!" Glaring at Jax, even if she did find the situation amusing, Tara said, "I'm going to have to start punishing you every time you say things like that around him."

Eyes heating, Jax purred, "Promise?"

Feeling heat flare in her stomach at his all too clear innuendo, Tara admonished, "That's enough you."

They quickly fell back into a comfortable silence as Abel once again amused himself with his action figure and Tara and Jax both watched Thomas finish his nursing session. Jax still couldn't get enough of watching Tara breastfeeding Thomas. There was something magical about it to him. It amazed him that she was able to feed their youngest son from her own body like this, and he once again lamented the fact that she hadn't been capable of doing it with Abel. All too soon for his liking Tara was readjusting her top and burping Thomas as she said, "Will you take them for me? I just want to grab a quick shower."

"No problem."

Setting Abel on his feet Jax moved to take Thomas from her arms and added, "We'll just go check on breakfast."

Fifteen minutes later Tara emerged from the back. With two young sons she'd mastered the art of the quick shower and was freshly washed and dressed simply in sneakers, shorts, and a plain white tank top. Her hair was still very wet as she hadn't felt like blow drying and straightening it so it was hanging down her back in a damp curly mass.

From his seat at the table where he had Thomas in his lap and Abel beside him, who was already digging into the banana cream pancakes Gemma had made, Jax could only gap at Tara coming towards him. He hadn't seen her in shorts in years, and with her new figure her clothes were making all sorts of naughty thoughts run through his head. He seriously wanted to know what Tara had been up to in order to reshape her body the way she had. He knew she still ran just like in high school, as he'd encountered her in her running sessions a number of times when she first got back, but that had never had her body looking like this. His gaze traveled up her long creamy legs, hungrily devouring the sight her well rounded ass that fed into a much trimmer waist than he remembered, before zeroing in on her breasts that were practically spilling out of her white tank top.

Tara rolled her eyes she saw Jax's perusal of her body, even if she was flattered by it, and slid into a seat beside him as she mumbled, "Grow up."

"Oh I'm growing, Tara. I'm growing really hard and really fast."

"Perv," she admonished, but pleased that her new figure could garner such a reaction from him. While she hadn't started taking Krav Maga or gotten into weight training in an effort to change her body, her original intent to become stronger and able to defend herself, she did appreciate the added benefits of her new work out routines.

"Here you go, baby," Gemma offered as she set a plate of fresh banana cream pancakes and sausage links in front of Tara before asking, "you ok?"

Realizing that Jax must have alerted everyone as to why she'd run through the clubhouse a crying mess the night before, Tara replied, "I'll be alright. It was just a rough night."

"We heard," Lyla said softly from her place across the table. "I'm so sorry, Tara."

"Me too," Tara mumbled before smiling at Gemma and thanking, "Thank you for making these. They're my favorite."

"I know, figured you'd need some comfort food this morning," Gemma replied as she got her own plate and took a seat at the table. Slowly the clubhouse began filling up with people who had woken and come to see what was for breakfast. More than a few people came by to offer Tara their condolences. Even Piney in his own gruff fashion, and she let herself be soothed by their concern. While Tara still worried about the violence of Samcro, she had come to understand what it was Gemma loved so much about it. It was the community, the family, and Tara hoped that Jax was able to set his club on a new path, because it would truly hurt her to have to load her boys up and take them away from all of this.

As they were finishing up breakfast Jax asked, "What are you going to do today?"

"Well normally I have Sundays off, but I need to go by the hospital and fill out my report."

"No you don't," Gemma countered. "Margaret called and said she doesn't want to see you in there today. She said Dr. Namid's report is enough to start the official paperwork, and you can fill yours out and turn it in tomorrow."

"Oh—uh well than I guess I just need to go by the house."

After swallowing the bite of his pancakes, Jax asked, "What do you need to do there?"

"Well I'd like to get a few more clothes and some things for the boys since we don't know how long this lockdown will take, and I need to check in with Jose and Lapita," Tara answered.

"Who are they?"

"They work for me. They're husband and wife. Jose looks after the animals, the plants, and does the work outside, and Lapita is my housekeeper. She does a little cooking here and there, but mainly she keeps the house up since I don't have time to clean."

"What animals? I thought you just had horses?" Jax hadn't seen any other animals when he'd gone to her place looking for her.

Gemma couldn't help but laugh, "Tara didn't tell you? She's got herself her own little farm going over there."

"It's not a farm, Gem," Tara denied.

Arching a brow Gemma asked, "What do you call a cow, chickens, and a greenhouse where you grow all your own fruits and vegetables?"

Clearly shocked, Jax asked, "You got all that?"

Nodding her head, Tara replied, "I started researching organic living when you went in. While there is very little long term research on the effects of eating meat from animals that have been fed hormone laced diets, what research there is suggest enough negative side effects that I wanted to steer clear of it, and I definitely don't want Abel and Thomas eating it. Not to mention the research on side effects of eating plants treated by pesticides is more than overwhelming. So I started buying range fed meat online, bought a miniature milk cow, got some chickens, and setup an aquaponic green house near the barn. Jose manages it all, and we get fresh milk with no hormones, fresh eggs with no hormones, and all of our fruits and vegetables are pesticide free."

"What the hell is a miniature milk cow?" Jax asked.

"Belle, Daddy!" Excited about his cow, Abel said, "Belle is our cow! Mommy lets me ride her sometimes, but she doesn't really do anything. She never goes fast and she really just stands there, but Mommy says when I'm bigger I can get my own pony and go riding with her!"

Smiling at her son before focusing on Jax, Tara explained, "Standard sized cows make upwards of 10 gallons of milk a day. That is way too much for us, so I bought a miniature Jersey cow. Belle is about the size of a large Great Dane, only fatter. She produces a little over a gallon of milk a day. Which lets me make my own butter, cream, and cheese."

"Are you serious?" Jax was completely surprised by this. He'd never envisioned Tara living like that, or even known she'd wanted such things.

"It's not as complicated as it sounds, or as time consuming. I have an electric churn. I just pour the milk in and press a button. A few hours later I've got butter, and Lapita uses the rest of the milk to make the cheese and cream for me. I really don't do much at all. Jose feeds everyone and milks Belle each morning before getting the eggs. And the greenhouse is an aquaponic system so it's pretty much self regulating. It's all much easier than it sounds, but I get to make sure Abel is eating all the best foods as will Thomas when he's weaned."

"Because a healthy body is a strong body," Abel announced happily, repeating the phrase his mom told him so often.

"That's right, baby," Tara smiled at her oldest before he went back to his pancakes.

"I got to see this," Jax laughed. "After our meet with Alvarez today I'll come pick you guys up and take you to your house."

Joining the conversation as he sat down with his own plate of pancakes, Clay said, "You can take her now. We'll handle the meet with Alvarez and fill you in later."

"You sure?" Jax would love to spend the day with Tara and his boys, and he definitely wanted to see her little farm life for himself, but he knew making shit work with their new plans was very important as well. His whole future depended on how things went over the next few months, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their plans to get out of guns.

Nodding his head as he swallowed his first bite of pancakes, Clay promised, "It's all good son. We're just checking out his operation and ironing out some transport details. We can handle that. You spend time with Tara and the boys and we'll meet back here later to fill you in on everything."

Looking at Tara, Clay added, "I'm sorry to hear about last night, Tara."

"Thank you, Clay."

The rest of breakfast passed swiftly and soon enough Jax had Tara and the boys loaded in her Denali as he headed them towards her house. He was driving and he couldn't help commenting, "Might have the boys take a look at your Denali when we get back. It's not accelerating as fast as it should."

"It's fine, Jax. I promise."

"Tara, it feels like you're pulling a trailer or something. That's not normal. Something must be up with the engine."

"Nothing's wrong with the engine, it's just a heavy SUV."

"Tara, I've driven many SUV's and they've all gotten up to speed much faster than this."

Looking at Jax, Tara asked, "Were any of them bullet proof?"

Clearly shocked, Jax asked, "This thing is bullet proof?"

"Yes," Tara answered. "After I bought it I sent it to this place in Texas that armored it."

"You going to war, babe, and not tell me about it?"

Looking back at her boys before focusing on Jax again, Tara replied, "No, but I intend to do absolutely everything I can to make sure my boys are safe."

Realizing that Tara had her new SUV bullet proofed because she was afraid she and the boys might be shot at while she was driving, Jax promised, "I'm moving us away from all of that, Tara, I promise. You and the boys are going to be safe."

"And I'm starting to believe you about that, but the unknown will always frighten me now, Jax, and anything I can do to lessen the danger I will do."

Jax was silent a moment before asking, "Tara, where are you getting the money to do all of this? I don't care what you told my mom there is no way you should have been able to afford that house. And bullet proofing a car? That's got to cost well over 100k, so what gives, babe?"

When Tara hesitated, Jax pressed, "Are you in trouble? Did you borrow or something?"

Tara hesitated a moment longer before asking, "If I tell you do you promise you won't tell anyone else?"

"I swear."

"Do you remember the aunt I went to live with in San Diego when I went to school?"

"Never actually met her, but I know who you're talking about."

"Well she died, and apparently she was a millionaire. She left it all to me. 7.2 mil and some change."

Shocked, Jax gasped, "Are you serious?"

Nodding her head, Tara continued, "I set up trust funds for Abel and Thomas. When they turn 25 they should each get a little over 2 mil. I put a lot in savings, and I bought and renovate my house. I also set up an investment portfolio that is already bringing in more than I made at St. Thomas in interest alone."

"Made? You get a pay cut?"

"Yeah, one I initiated."

Tara quickly explained her deal with St. Thomas about taking a huge pay cut in return for less hours, and when she was done, Jax asked, "Why are you keeping all this a secret?"

"After seeing what Samcro did to Luanne I didn't want that to happen to me. This money means me and the boys will never have to worry, and I intend to keep it that way."

"What do you mean after what happened to Luanne?"

"Jax," Tara reminded, "you guys basically ruined her. You borrowed all the cash she had, and never paid it back. Then when she got into a tight spot because of the raid by the feds, a raid that never would have happened if it weren't for Samcro in the first place, instead of paying her back so she could rebuild you forced her to take you guys on as partners. You guys totally screwed her over. I don't want that to happen to me."

Feeling guilty as he heard Tara describe what he and the others had done to Luanne, Jax promised, "I'd never let the Sons do that to you, babe. You have to know that."

"And what happens if you get sent inside again? What if the worst happens and—and—you're not here?" She'd choked on the last part. The thought of Jax being killed terrified her. Even if she had no intention of getting back together with him she still couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to him.

Forcing herself to push the thought from her mind, Tara finished, "I'm sure Otto never thought Luanne would get treated like she did, especially since he's serving time for the club and threw away his chance at parole for Samcro, and still look at what happened to her. I don't want that to happen to me. My inheritance has ensured I can raise our boys the way I want them to be raised. It's ensured I'll be able to send them to any college in the world, and I'll be able to give them a great head start in life with the trust funds I set up for them. I don't want Samcro trying to take any of that away."

His shame growing, and remembering that they owed Otto vengeance for what happened to Luanne, Jax reminded himself to have Juice look into finding Georgie when they got back to the clubhouse. That bastard had disappeared overseas when Luanne died, pretty much ensuring his guilt with that move, but Jax wanted to see if he was back, or at the very least they could get a lead on him. They owed Luanne and Otto vengeance. He was sure Juice could find something. He hadn't seen his brother since he'd disappeared into his room with his laptop two days prior.

Looking at Tara, Jax promised, "I swear, Tara, I won't tell anyone about your inheritance."

"Thank you, but I want you to know I would use it if you got in trouble. You know that right?"

Smiling at her, pleased she was still ready to sacrifice for him if need be, Jax assured, "I know, but you won't need to. Things are going well, Tara, and we're well on our way to getting out. We've made a deal for the first establishment, and we spoke to the owner of the second one we're looking to take over. I also took the guys to the apartment complex in Lodi yesterday. They agreed it's a good deal and Clay said we should be able to put an offer in a few weeks from now."

"Jax, I want you to know I'm really proud of what you're doing. No matter what happens between us I'm glad you're taking Samcro in a better direction."

Pleased at her praise, but not liking her continual reference to them remaining separated, Jax insisted, "Tara, what's going to happen between us is us getting married and having at least another dozen kids. That's our future, babe."

Deciding not to spoil their day, Tara asked, "Has the new sheriff been giving you guys any problems?"

"Other than his little display when we first got out no, but I heard about your conversation with him yesterday. Piney and Happy said you got him to give us a pass on the Russians. Want to tell me how that happened?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Tara replied, "I asked him to give you guys some time to change. Told him you were trying to be better, trying to move in a new direction, and told him that if he pissed you guys off it would force you to respond."

"And he backed down?"

"I don't think Sheriff Roosevelt is the backing down kind, but I think he wants what is best for Charming. I think he's willing to see if you guys can change, and I told him you could—so try not to prove me wrong."

"We won't."

Soon enough they were pulling up to Tara's house and headed up the porch steps. Opening the door, Tara called out, "Lapita? Donde esta?"

"En la cocina, Tara!"

Leading Jax through the house to the kitchen Tara smiled at the sight of Lapita who was an older short plump Hispanic woman. She was at the counter hard at work using the milk to make cheese as Tara greeted, "Hola, Lapita. Como vas u manana?"

"Muy bien."

Abel ran up to Lapita and held his little arms up for a hug, giggling when the woman picked him up and greeting, "Hola Lapita! Me extranaste?

"Si, Abel, te extrane muchisimo."

Jax, shocked that Tara and Abel were both speaking Spanish, asked, "You speak Spanish?"

Nodding her head, Tara replied, "I took Spanish I and II in college, though I wasn't fluent, but when I hired Jose and Lapita I started working on it."

Smiling at Abel, she added, "And I asked them to only speak to Abel and Thomas in Spanish. I make sure a lot of the TV programs they watch, books I read to them, and games they play are in Spanish along with all the English ones. I'm hoping this way they'll grow up bilingual."

So impressed with Tara and her determination to give their boys all the advantages she could in life, Jax leaned down and kissed her cheek, before saying, "Thank you for being such an amazing mother."

Tara quickly introduced Jax and Lapita to each other before she said, "Lapita, we won't be around much in the coming days, possibly weeks, so I'm going to go ahead and pay you and Jose for the whole month. Is that ok?"

Nodding her head and speaking in English just as easily as Spanish, Lapita agreed, "That's fine."

"Ok. I'm just going to go get your money. Abel, you be good for Lapita."

Jax followed Tara into the back of the house where her office was. He took Thomas from her when she handed him over and watched as she moved behind her desk and pulled on a book. He could only watch in shock as the bookshelf swung open to reveal a massive walk in safe. "Shit, you got your own safe?"

Nodding her head, Tara replied, "Yeah, I like to be prepared."

Looking behind him to make sure the office door was closed she focused on Jax again and said, "The number is 9-22-16. You're the only one I've told it to."

Unbelievably pleased that Tara was willing to share that information with him Jax simply nodded his head, smiling at her, and watching as she opened the safe. He moved to follow her inside and could only gap at the mounds of cash she had on hand. There had to be over 100 grand in cash in the safe. There was also a wall of automatic riffles, handguns, ammo, grenades, and several duffle bags lined up along the wall. The safe also had ventilation, a small cot, food and water rations, and medical supplies. There was even a composting toilet in the corner.

At Jax's questioning gaze, Tara explained, "It's more of a safe room than safe. In the event someone breaks in here the boys and I can take shelter in here for up to a month. Hopefully that never happens. I have three more of these built into my room upstairs, and each of the boys rooms."

Looking at all the weapons, Jax asked, "And the guns?"

Shrugging, Tara teased, "I know a guy." Tara had told Gemma she wanted to arm up, and Gemma had certainly come through and gotten her everything she'd asked for.

"I bet you do, but why do you have them?"

"I told you, Jax, I'm going to be prepared for anything from now on."

Hating that Tara felt the need to so thoroughly prepare for disaster, Jax looked at her and swore, "I'm getting us out, Tara. I promise."

"And I'm starting to believe you, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be prepared. We never know what the future holds, and no matter what I am determined to be ready to protect my sons. From anyone and anything. If anyone ever walks into my house again thinking to hurt my boys, or take them, I'm going to be ready to blow them away."

Jax couldn't help but be turned on by Tara's deadly expression, and he fully believed her when she said she meant to use these weapons if anyone ever came near their boys again. He watched as Tara grabbed a few thousand from the stack of cash and followed her out of the safe room. Once she had the door closed she closed the false wall concealing the safe and faced him, reminding, "Remember, the number is 9-22-16. There is only money in this safe, but there are weapons and supplies in all the safes upstairs. They all have the same code."

"I'll remember, but we're not going to need them, Tara."

"I hope not."

Jax followed Tara back into the kitchen and listened as she spoke to her housekeeper in Spanish for a few more minutes while he looked around. Tara had a huge country style kitchen. Her house plan was very open so her kitchen was attached to a simple kitchenette and the informal living room. On they way into the house he'd seen the formal living room and dining room located in the front by the grand staircase. He had to admit, Tara's house was fucking amazing. Like something out of a movie or magazine, and he was glad his boys were growing up in a place like this.

Seeing as how Tara was paying him no mind, and Abel was eating some of the cookies that Lapita had apparently made, Jax decided to explore. Still holding Thomas, who was playing with the collar of his kutte he headed into the house. He toured the library, and looked around the formal living and dining rooms, poked around Tara's office a bit, and then made his way upstairs. The first bedroom was Abel's room and was done in a superhero theme. His walls were painted with a mural of all his favorite superheroes, and there were colorful bookshelves attached attached to the walls holding various children's books and comics. There was a little desk that was designed and painted to look like Gotham City, and a huge flat screen TV was hanging over Abel's dresser that was solid blue with all the superheroes painted on each drawer. Abel's bed was definitely the focal point of the room, and it had to be custom made as each of the four posters was a different hero. He had Superman, Spiderman, Captain America, and Batman. He had no doubt Tara had spent a fortune decking out their oldest's room. Opening Abel's closet Jax could see the entrance to his son's safe room in the back behind his clothes.

After touring Able's room Jax made his way further down the hall and found Thomas's room. He smiled at the Curious George theme Tara had gone with. Again, a mural covered all the walls with Curious George, and he smiled at the fake vines hanging about the room from the ceiling. Thomas's crib had to be custom made as well, as was the rest of his furniture. Thomas's crib was shaped like a tree with wood vines holding up the canopy. Seeing a switch on the bed Jax flipped it and then leaned down to check out the canopy and he was stunned to see that it was actually an LED display. He watched as shooting stars moved across the screen before the picture changed to show another beautiful picture from space. One space scene after another, in beautiful colors and amazing images flashed across the screen. Turning the crib off, Jax looked down at Thomas and said, "Your mother has definitely spent a fortune on you boys."

Just like with Abel's room he found the entrance to the safe room in Thomas's room located in the closet. When he'd seen everything in his youngest son's room, he made his way further down the hall and found the next room Tara had apparently converted into a game and classroom for the boys. There was a desk for Abel with his name on it, and one for Thomas when he was old enough. There was a wall of colorful bookshelves holding probably well over 100 different children's learning books and fiction books. There were also two Apple all-in-one computers set up at little computer stations for the boys, a dry erase board that had the alphabet in both English and Spanish written on it in Abel's childish handwriting. There was a toy chest in the corner, a model of the solar system hanging from the ceiling, and the floor was covered with a bright rug featuring numbers and letters. On the walls were all the finger paintings the boys had done, and Jax couldn't help but smile. His Tara definitely took their boys' education seriously.

Shutting the door he moved further down the hall and found a simple guest bedroom. It was tastefully decorated but lacked any personal touches so he didn't stay for long. Moving further down the hall to the last door he finally found Tara's room. Opening the door he took a long look at Tara's room. It was huge! You could probably fit three of his bedrooms into hers. Her wood floor had a large light grey and silver area rug, and her king sized bed was along the wall opposite her large white rimmed fireplace where a 60 inch flat screen TV hung above it. On either side of the bed were nightstands with multiple pictures of their boys. All the ceilings in Tara's house were raised so she had a simple, but very elegant chandelier hanging over her bed. There was a long ottoman at the end of Tara's bed which sported a baby blue brocade bedspread with dark purple accent pillows. She had a large circular alcove of floor length windows where a cream overstuffed chair and chaise lounge were situated with a table between them. He saw a book on the table, a ribbon holding Tara's place, and a purple blanket draped over the chaise.

Jax could just imagine Tara sitting there at night after the boys were asleep reading, and the picture in his mind made him smile. He was ready to sell his house now and move in. He was desperate to be a part of this life she'd built herself and their boys. Moving away from Tara's reading area Jax entered her walk in closet, which was roughly the size of his bedroom. It had a chandelier as well and the white wood of the room really popped. He was glad to see that the closet was only half full, as if waiting for all of his stuff, and he saw the door that lead to the safe room for her bedroom.

Making his way out of the closet Jax headed to the other side of the room where white double doors opened to reveal Tara's master bath. He couldn't help but let out a low whistle. Tara's bathroom was massive. As soon as he walked in his eyes went to the shower that had floor length glass walls on three sides, with one side with grey marble tile holding eight different nozzles at varying heights. From the ceiling there was a rain and misting nozzle. He couldn't wait to fuck her in it. Across from the shower was a light grey marble counter with his and her sinks and a mirror that went all the way to the ceiling with overhead recessive lights. Further down from the counter was a huge tub, more than big enough for the both of them, with a marble ledge holding different size candles. The tub was at an angle and there was a beautiful fireplace behind it. There was another circular alcove of floor length windows with light blue sheer panels providing privacy. There was a white wood vanity in the alcove and to the right of it was a huge country armoire in a soft grey color. Opening it up he found towels, candles, lotions, soaps, and whatnot.

"Jax! Where are you?"

Hearing Tara calling him Jax made his way out of Tara's bedroom and headed back down the grand staircase. All along the walls were different pictures of Tara and the boys, Gemma and the boys, and some of their friends. At the foot of the stairs Jax was brought up short at one of the pictures there and he stared hard at it. It was there that Tara found him.

"Hey? You ready to head outside? I need to check in with Jose."

When Jax didn't answer her, Tara asked, "Hey, you ok?"

Still not looking at her, Jax continued to stare at the photo and said, "I want one of these. Will you get me a copy?"

Moving to look over Jax's shoulder Tara smiled as she replied, "That's one of my favorites too."

The picture Jax was looking at was of her when she was pregnant with Thomas. The photo showed her profile with her looking down at Abel. She was naked, one of her arms covering her breasts modestly, while her free hand stroked Abel's hair as he kissed her pregnant belly. Abel was naked too, but posed to preserve his own modesty, and the photo was in black and white. When she'd gone in to get photos and the photographer had suggested this pose, Tara had been skeptical, she thought it might be inappropriate, but when she'd seen the results she'd been glad she followed her advice. She'd gone back to that photographer several times since then. As she was standing sideways so you could see the outline of her pregnant belly, you could see a hint of her crow tattoo as well.

Jax finally tore his eyes from the photo and begged, "Can I please have a copy?"

Seeing how much he liked it, Tara agreed, "I'll get one for you in a few days. I'll get you copies of all the photos, ok?"

"Thanks."

"Where were you?"

"Checking out your place. Seriously, Tara, this house is amazing."

Blushing, Tara replied, "Thanks. Since I had the money I wanted to go all out."

"Well you definitely have great taste. This is beautiful, Tara, and I'm so glad the boys are growing up here."

Tara couldn't help but tease, "Not going to complain about the lack of motorcycle and Maxim posters?"

Grinning, Jax replied, "No, those are for bachelor pads. This is a home for a family, though when I move in you'd better believe we're building a man cave."

Tara just rolled her eyes in exasperation and led him out of the house towards the barn. Abel broke away from her and went running towards the barn as he called out, "Jose!"

A few minutes later an older Hispanic man came out to greet them. "Abel!"

Abel jumped up into his arms and began speaking to him in Spanish as Tara and Jax finished making their way to him. Once they arrived, Tara greeted, "Hello, Jose, I'm sorry I haven't been around much."

"No problem, Tara, I was just cleaning out the stalls."

Abel wiggled in Jose's hold so the older man would put him down before moving to grab his father's hand and begin tugging him deeper into the barn as he said, "Come on, Daddy! I'll show you Mommy's horses and Belle!"

Tara waved at Jax as Abel led him away before she focused back on Jose and said, "We're going to be staying at the clubhouse for a while longer, and I'm not sure when we'll be coming back so I already gave Lapita your pay for the month."

"Ok, thanks, but what do you want me to do about the food? If you guys aren't going to be here to eat it I'll need to do something with it."

"I already told Lapita you guys could take it home. Hopefully we'll be back soon, because I don't want Abel eating junk food for too long, but until Jax and the others handle their business we'll be staying at the clubhouse."

Jose simply nodded his head, well aware of Tara's connection to Samcro. He and Lapita had actually been recommended for this job by Alvarez, one of their sons being a Mayan, so they were no strangers to club life. "Everything ok?"

"For now yes, the guys just want to play it safe, but I want you guys to be cautious. You never know."

Nodding his head in understanding, Jose replied, "We know the routine well." Lifting his shirt to show her his gun tucked into the back of his pants, Jose added, "I'll be ready to protect the place if someone comes by."

"I thank you for that, but I'd prefer if trouble goes down that you grab Lapita and run like hell. I don't want you two getting hurt."

"Not a running man, Tara," Jose replied.

Tara could only smile before saying, "Well just be safe. I'll leave you be. I'm just gong to show Jax around but we'll try to stay out of your way."

Jose smiled and waved at her as he went back to work. Making her way into the barn Tara found Jax holding Thomas and watching Abel feed Belle some of the apple treats they kept on hand for her and the horses. Seeing as how Belle was in the stall Tara figured Jose was getting ready to milk her. She was usually out with the horses and Jose tended to only bring her in at night when he stalled the horses or when he was going to milk her.

"Hey," she greeted as she moved to stand next to Jax.

Smiling at her, Jax said, "This is crazy, Tara, I didn't even know there were cows this small."

Shrugging, Tara said, "More and more people are getting into urban homesteading so these are gaining in popularity."

Reaching down to scratch Belle's forehead when the Jersey nudged her hand for some affection, she added, "She's a sweet thing and more like a dog than a cow. She's also really smart. She's why we had to get special locks on the gates because she kept opening them up and letting the horses out."

Grinning up at his father, Abel giggled, "Belle likes to cause trouble, Daddy, but Mommy says she's too cute for us to stay mad at."

"I can see why." Feeling something rubbing against his leg Jax looked down to see a large tabby cat rubbing against him and asked, "And who is this?"

"That's Max, Daddy!" Abel moved to pet the cat, and continued, "We also have Hank, Jasmine, and Teddy!"

When Jax looked at her questioningly, Tara supplied, "They're barn cats. I got them from the shelter. They were about to be put down so I took them and had them fixed, vaccinated, and microchiped. They keep the rats away."

Looking around and not seeing the others she finished, "They're around here somewhere."

Handing Thomas to Tara Jax knelt down to pet the cat for a moment before standing back up and asking, "So where are these chickens of yours? I'd also like to see this greenhouse I've heard so much about. I saw it on the side on our way in."

"Ok."

Tara led Jax out of the back of the barn and towards the chicken coop which was in the design of a miniature country house. The coop was surrounded by a chicken fence because Tara liked to have the chickens put up at night. She didn't want to risk a coyote getting to them. They had seven chickens and one rooster and as Abel ran towards the bin holding their feed attached to the coop, Tara said, "Abel loves to feed them, and Thomas is very amused by them. He'll crawl around and try to catch them if you give him a chance."

Jax came to a stop with Tara and stood there watching as Abel grabbed a handful of chicken feed before he threw it in the air. He and Thomas both giggled madly as the chickens went into a frenzy pecking at the seed as soon as it hit the ground. Tara and Jax watched Abel do this several times before his attention was diverted to the horses who had come up the fence and were whinnying for attention.

Abel moved to the fence and pulled some of the apple treats from his pocket and held them up for the horses as his parents came to stand behind him with Thomas. Jax looked at the different horses and asked, "What kinds are they?"

"The big black one is Goliath. He's a Percheron."

"He's huge! How do you even get up there?"

"I use a ladder." When Jax looked at her skeptically, Tara laughed, "I'm joking. He came trained to lean down so I can get my foot in the stirrup."

"Oh, and the rest?"

"The other black one is Prince. He's a Friesian. The white one is Princess. She's an Andalusian, and the black and white one is a Quarter horse. I'm looking around for a Connemara pony for Abel, but I haven't found any that I like yet. There is one in New Hampshire that seems promising, but I'd like to see if there is anything closer before making the trip out there."

Grabbing his parents attention, Abel asked, "I get one for my third birthday, right Mommy?"

"If you're a good boy, Abel, and keep your room clean and eat your vegetables. Or maybe Santa will bring you one for Christmas."

Moving forward to pet the horses, Jax remarked, "Will you take me riding sometime?"

Clearly surprised, Tara asked, "You'd want to?"

Nodding his head, Jax replied, "I enjoyed going with you those few times when we were younger."

Smiling, Tara agreed, "Then I'd be happy too. I usually go riding on Saturdays and Sundays, but until we're off lockdown I'm not taking any lessons."

"Don't you already know how to ride?" Jax asked while petting Goliath's huge head. The horse was massive. The top of his head didn't even come up to the horse's back.

"I do, but I haven't ridden since high school, and I thought it best to take some lessons to get used to being back in the saddle."

"Oh."

They stayed petting the horses until Abel had finished handing out all the treats in his pocket before Tara led Jax around the side of the barn to show him the greenhouse. Taking him inside she said, "It's an aquaponics system."

"What's that?"

Pointing at the hanging grow beds Tara explained, "It's an all natural system. The plants grow in the beds with these clay balls instead of dirt, and water drips down from the beds into the barrels below." Pointing to the irrigation tubes feeding water into the top of the beds from the barrels below she continued, "The water is then taken out of the barrels and put back into the beds feeding the plants."

"How?" Jax was amazed at the greenhouse. Tara had lettuce, cabbage, kale, spinach, cucumbers, melons, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, jalapenos, tomatoes, onions, and all kinds of things growing out of seven different grow beds.

Pointing down into the seven huge 50 gallon barrels that had been put into the ground directly beneath the grow beds, Tara explained, "They are full of fish. The waste from the fish makes the nitrates in the water and it is what the plants eat. So when the irrigation system takes dirty water from the fish barrels and puts it into the grow beds the plants suck all the nitrates out of the water, cleaning it, and then the clean water drips down from the bottom of the grow beds back into the fish barrels. Then the process repeats itself. We never have to do much of anything, and since the greenhouse is climate controlled all we have to do to keep everything going is harvest the fruits and vegetables when they are ready and feed the fish every other day. The only real upkeep is adding fresh water once a month to replace what is lost through evaporation or absorption from the plants."

Indicating some of the fish in the barrels, Tara added, "We also have sucker fish in each of the barrels and that keeps any algae from growing. Like I said at the clubhouse it all sounds complicated and time consuming, but it's actually pretty simple."

Leaning down to look at the fish, Jax asked, "What kind are these?"

"Tilapia. We eat a lot of fish. I have us on high protein diets," Tara replied.

Letting his eyes trail over her figure, Jax asked, "Is that why you look so amazing?"

Blushing from his hungry gaze, Tara offered, "Maybe."

Standing back up Jax asked, "What runs it all?"

"The roof is made of solar panels. They run the heating and cooling system to keep the temps right, and the motor for the irrigation system. Like I said we really don't have to do much. Jose spends more time picking food than doing anything to care for the plants or fish. Aquaponic systems are built to be hassle free once you've got them up and running."

"Never thought you'd get so into farming."

Hiking Thomas up higher on her hip while Abel leaned down to look at the fish, Tara replied, "As I was researching organic food I stumbled upon sustainable living. Since I had the inheritance I could afford to set all this up. This whole greenhouse and aquaponics system came as a kit. I just had to pay for it and to have someone set it up, and it only took Jose a few weeks to get everything running smoothly. I'm actually thinking of going completely green."

"You're not already?"

Shaking her head, Tara denied, "No. I'm still connected to the city water and electric lines, but I've been looking into getting a hybrid wind/solar system and a rain harvesting and filtration system."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah," Tara explained, "with the constant blackouts we have during the summer from the drain on the power grids, and the draught making water more and more expensive, I think it would be a good idea to have off the grid power and my own water supply. It would only cost about 70k to get it setup and installed."

"I know how the wind/solar thing works, but what is a rain harvesting system?"

"Again, it is a fairly simple concept. You know the gutters on the roofs of the house, barn, and here on the greenhouse?"

"Yeah."

"Well right now they just funnel the water onto the ground, but with a rain harvesting system the gutters funnel into water barrels that pump the water through a filtration system to clean it so it can be used for drinking, cooking, and bathing. From there it goes into a holding tank waiting for use. A regular 2,000 square foot roof can gather between 10 and 20 thousand gallons of water in a year through rain harvesting. With the drought going on I'd probably get closer to the 10 thousand than the 20, but it's still a lot per square foot. I've got over 10 thousand square feet of roofing between the house, barn, and greenhouse, so that will allow more than enough water harvesting to meet all of our needs."

Shaking his head, Jax said, "That is amazing. I never even thought about any of this shit."

"I didn't really know much about it either until I stumbled upon sustainable living while researching organic foods, but it would require me making some huge changes to the plumbing in the house. I would need to take out the flushing toilets and replace them with composting toilets. Having a rain harvesting system requires the recycling of water. So what water we use for bathing, cooking, and so on would be put back through the filtration system for reuse, but they aren't built to handle solid waste. So the flushing toilets would have to go, but there are some pretty fancy composting toilets from Sun-Mar that I wouldn't mind having. Not to mention the piping in the house would have to be redone to connect to the harvesting system."

Jax was about to ask another question when his pre pay went off. Knowing his brothers would only be bothering him because something had gone wrong he said, "I need to take this."

Tara watched Jax step out of the greenhouse to take his call before she looked at Abel and suggested, "How about we pick some grapes and strawberries to take back to the clubhouse with us, baby?"

"Ok, Mommy."

A few minutes later Jax came back in looking guarded as he said, "We need to get back to the clubhouse. You'll need your medical bag."

Her good mood vanishing, Tara asked, "What's happening?"

"There was an attack on Alvarez's clubhouse. He got hit. Their doctor apparently got taken out in the attack. Clay and the others are bringing him in. We need you to patch him up."

"Shit, Jax," Tara cursed.

"You're not supposed to say that word, Mommy!"

Offering her son a fake smile, Tara soothed, "I know and I'm sorry. Come on, baby, we need to get back to the clubhouse."

Clutching the little canvas bag of grapes and strawberries he'd collected Abel ran out of the greenhouse. Jax reached for Thomas and said, "I'll get them loaded into the car while you get your medical stuff."

Holding onto Thomas Tara walked passed him as she refused, "No need. I made sure the clubhouse had it's own stock of medical supplies."

Hating that their afternoon had been so quickly and easily ruined Jax followed after Tara. He didn't know what to say to her, and he was pissed that all the headway he'd been making with her had just been destroyed with this reminder that his world put her and those they knew in danger.

' _But not for long_ ,' he swore to himself as he and Tara loaded the boys into the Denali and headed back to the clubhouse. ' _We're getting the fuck out of guns, and I'm going to make damn sure Tara never has to worry about a thing ever again_.'


	11. Chapter 11

Not the best chapter. It is really just to get the Galindo/Lobo Sonora drama over with so I can set the stage for all the things that Jax and the Sons are going to be doing to move in a new direction. Most of the action of my story is going to revolve around the guys making a play for the escort/brothel trade, and everything else they are going to be getting into. My story is more about the Sons changing and the relationship between Jax and Tara than Samcro's criminal activities. So expect me to get through the violent portions of the story as quickly as I can. They are not what I want to focus on.

Chapter 11

By the time Clay and the others had arrived with the wounded Alvarez and his Sgt. At Arms Jax and Tara had been a the clubhouse long enough to get the boys situated back in Chucky's room with Lyla to keep and eye on them, and start prepping the Chapel for an emergency surgery. As Clay and the others carried a wounded Alvarez through the clubhouse towards the Chapel Tara was scrubbing up in a basin of soap water while Jax smoothed out a sterile blanket on top of the table.

"Hey Doc," Alvarez greeted, trying not to let his pain and fatigue show in his voice. He'd lost quite a bit of blood, and he'd never been more thankful for his truce with the Sons which was providing him access to their doctor, because he knew without Dr. Knowles he wouldn't be walking away from this one.

"Hello, Marcus." Indicating the table, she ordered, "Get him on the table. Chibs?"

"Aye, doc?"

"Go get two units of O neg out of the fridge and get his IV setup, then get surgical tray number two."

"Yes Ma'am."

Jax stood back and watched as Chibs ran off to follow Tara's orders while she slipped her surgical gloves on and moved to her patient's side. He couldn't help asking, "You keep blood here?"

Without looking up from Marcus's shoulder where she was removing the makeshift bandage to get a look at his wound, Tara replied, "I make sure we have 30 units of O neg on hand as well as IV bags in case of emergency. I also fully stocked one of the storage closets with prepackaged sterile surgical trays and other medical supplies. In the event of an emergency the clubhouse is capable of setting up a triage area that can treat 100 minor wounds and 15 major injuries."

Returning with the requested medical supplies Chibs added, "Yep, Jax, Doc set us up real nice. We even have a portable defibrillator and portable x-ray machine."

"Which we're going to need," Tara replied as she looked up at Chibs and added, "I can't see the bullet, and there is no exit wound. I'm worried it's in the bone."

"Shit," Chibs cursed before rushing out of the room to get the portable x-ray machine.

Grabbing the blood Tara smiled at Marcus and soothed, "But you're still very lucky. Half an inch to the left and you would have bled out before you got here."

"I live on luck, Doc," Alvarez laughed as he watched Tara quickly hook up an IV and unit of blood before putting both tubes into his arms to begin replacing all the fluids he'd lost.

"Yeah, well I suggest you try living on caution for awhile."

Marcus couldn't help but laugh before groaning in pain, the movement causing pain to radiate from his shoulder.

As they watched Tara work administering pain meds before cutting Marcus's shirt away, Clay asked, "How bad is it?"

"I won't know until I take some x-rays. If the bullet is in the bone the surgery will be much more complicated and there will be a much higher chance of infection."

Before Clay could ask anything else Chibs came rushing back in with the portable x-ray machine. "Here ya go, Tara."

"Good. Gemma, please hold the display screen. Chibs, glove up quickly and then open up the surgical tray and get me the ten blade."

In a few moments Tara was snapping x-rays of Alvarez's shoulder and the pictures appeared on the iPad like device Gemma was holding while Chibs thoroughly washed his hands and put some gloves on to assist with the surgery. "There," Tara indicated to the small foreign object on the screen, "it's not in the bone, but it is right next to it. I should be able to get it out without causing further damage, and I don't think there will be any lasting effects. All in all not as bad as it could have been."

"That's good to hear," Marcus said. "How long will I be down?"

"As long as everything goes well you should be fine in six to eight weeks, but that's if no infection sets in. Chibs, ready with that ten blade?"

"Yes, ma'am."

As Tara set to work Clay's phone went off and h quickly took the call.

"Yeah—Are you sure?—No, wait there, we'll come back you up. You two don't try going in alone. We're leaving now."

Hanging up Clay announced, "Opie and Kozic followed the shooters to an apartment. They're sitting on it. We're going to go find out what all this is about."

Starting to fade a bit from the pain killers Tara had injected him with Alvarez ordered, "Jose, go with the Sons, have some of the others meet you there. Back them up."

"No, brother," Clay denied, "we'll put a call into Leroy and have him back us up. You have your boys get your women and children to your clubhouse and go on lockdown. Until we know what this is we need to play it safe."

Nodding his head, feeling light and fuzzy from the meds, Marcus agreed, "Yeah, should have gone on lockdown immediately like you guys. Just let Jose know if you need any help."

Marcus didn't get a chance to say much more as he lost conciseness while Tara announced, "Chit chat over, boys, I need to work. Chibs, I need some suction here."

As Clay led the others out of the Chapel Jax looked at Tara one last time, once again amazed at how she knew exactly what to do in situations like this. His Tara could take a broken body and piece it back together, and he again reminded himself he needed to let her know how fucking proud of her he was. He needed to let her know that he was amazed by her on a daily basis.

After shutting the Chapel door behind him Jax asked Clay, "So what's the plan?"

"We meet up with Opie and Kozic. We need to get the shooters and find out why the fuck they blew us and Alvarez up." Focusing on Bobby, Clay asked, "You get a hold of Leroy?"

Shaking his head, Bobby replied, "No. Can't reach him or any of his crew."

"Fuck. Keep trying and let him know we need some fucking backup."

Forty five minutes later Jax and the others were huddled behind some cars with Opie and Kozic staking out the apartment they'd followed the shooters to. They still hadn't been able to get a hold of Leroy, and Clay didn't want to waste time waiting for Alvarez's crew so they didn't call them. Surveying the apartment complex Clay turned to Jax and asked, "What do you think, VP?"

"I think we go in there and drag those fuckers out and find out what the fuck all of this is about."

When there was a rumbling of agreements from his brothers Jax finished, "I'll take Opie and Kozic and we'll climb up the side over the balcony. You guys cover the front. When we're in position we'll text you. We'll do a five count after the text and burst in at the same time. Everyone clear?"

When everyone nodded to show that they were on board with the plan the Sons headed for the apartment building. As soon as Jax, Opie, and Kozic were in position on the balcony Jax fired off a text to Clay, and then counted down from five before kicking in the glass of the balcony door and rushing in with Opie and Kozic at his back. He saw Clay and the others coming through the front. In moments they had the entire family consisting of several women, children, and adults huddled in the living room while Bobby another man pinned to the kitchen floor with a boot on his back.

Opie moved towards Bobby and pointed at the man beneath his boot as he said, "That's one of the shooters. He was the driver."

Looking around at the family, Jax asked his friend, "And the rest of these?"

Opie surveyed them quickly before replying, "No, none of them are the other shooter."

Looking at Tig, Jax ordered, "Search the back again. He might be hidden somewhere."

Tig took off for the back of the apartment past the front door while Jax kneeled down to the shooter Bobby was keeping on the ground, and asked, "Who are you and why did you shoot at us and the Mayans?"

When the man remained stubbornly silent, Jax warned, "You're going to tell us what we want to know. The only question is what it's going to take for us to get to that point."

Before Jax could say more another Hispanic man came through the open front door. He took one look at the Sons and grabbed one of the women to use as a shield as he pulled his gun and aimed it at Jax. The next few moments passed in a blur. Tig, who had been in the back and saw someone come in the front had rushed down the hall and then grabbed the man's gun hand while slamming his elbow into his face. There was a scuffle as Clay and the others rushed to help subdue him while the family members screamed before Kozic told them all to shut up.

Once they had the man restrained and the family calmed, Jax asked the driver, "Who are you and what are you doing here? And who the fuck is he?"

The driver looked into the other man's eyes from where Miles and Tig had him pinned to the floor, before focusing on Jax and replying, "I tell you anything and they'll kill us and our family in Mexico."

"I suggest you worry about us standing here with our guns pointing at you," Jax warned. "Who are you?"

It took some more persuasion but soon enough the man broke down and told them everything he knew and Jax cursed, "Fuck! Damnit! A rival cartel?"

The others were equally as worried and Clay pulled out his phone and made a call to Romeo. After speaking to him for a few minutes Clay hung up and announced, "Romeo wants us to bring this guy to him. He said the other and his family here aren't important. Lobo picked them to be disposable. He's told us all he knows."

Reaching down to pull up the shooter, who was remaining silent but glaring at Clay with murderous intent, the Samcro president added, "But he's sure you'll have much more to say."

As his brother's led the man out of the apartment Jax turned to the driver and his family and pulled his wad of cash out of his back pocket. There was about four grand total. Tossing it at the guy he said, "Take it. Take it and get your family the fuck out of here. Lobo will probably come after you, but know if I ever see your face again I'll fill you full of holes. We clear?"

"Yes! Yes! We're leaving!"

Jax didn't say anything else as he left the apartment and followed after the rest of the Sons. He hoped Romeo had a plan because he and the rest of Samcro hadn't signed on to get in the middle of a war between Cartels. If Lobo Sonora was making a serious play for the same territory that Galindo was looking to expand into then the deal they'd made had just gone up in smoke.

Two hours later the Sons were sitting in the barn they were storing their guns at guarding their new prisoner when Romeo Parada and his right hand man Luis Torres came strolling in with their henchmen. "So I hear we've got a problem," Romeo commented as he came to stand before the chair that the Lobo man was tied to.

Clay growled, "Yeah, you could call it that. What the fuck, Romeo? You told me you had no rivals for this play you were making into California. You know we want no part of a war between drug cartels."

"We didn't think that there was an issue." Focusing on the man before him as Luis began to setup his equipment to interrogate the man he added, "You boys settle in. We should know everything he knows in a few hours. We'll decide where to go from there."

…

…

…

A few hours later Romeo exited the barn to find the Sons lounging around on their bikes as he said, "The situation is manageable."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Clay demanded.

"They don't have a real presence here. They're just starting to move in so we can crush them before they get a chance to establish a presence."

Jax, tired of the vagueness insisted, "Spell that out for us, Romeo."

Looking back and forth between Jax and Clay, Romeo explained, "They have a small crew setup in the woods outside the city. We got the coordinates from our friend in there. A crew of 30 men. If we wipe them out by the time Lobo hears of it and is ready to send a second team we'll be too established for them to make a play on this area."

Indicating Luis who was behind him on the satellite phone barking out orders in Spanish, Romeo continued, "We're calling in reinforcements now. They'll be here tomorrow and we'll hit the camp then. We'll wipe them out, but you boys need to handle the Niners."

"What the fuck does Leroy have to do with this?" Opie asked.

"Apparently your friends are buying from Lobo. That needs to stop. We know you have a long history with them, so we'll give you a chance to bring them to us, but if they don't switch allegiances then we'll have no choice but to go after the Niners. We can't tolerate competition if we are going to solidify our rule over the area."

"We'll talk to Leroy," Clay agreed before insisting, "but you need to handle this shit with Lobo. Not only did we not sign on to get in the middle of a Cartel beef, but our Irish suppliers won't put up with it either. They are already skeptical about selling to you, especially considering some of the weapons you guys are requesting. I vouched for you, but if you bring this kind of heat down they will take their guns and go."

Nodding his head, Romeo promised, "We understand. We'll take care of the Lobo situation. You just make sure the Niners stop buying from them."

The rest of the day Jax and the others played damage control. When they had confronted Leroy he had at first refused to back out of the deal he'd made with Lobo, but when they'd made it clear that Galindo would wipe them out he had come around. He'd agreed to buy from Romeo and his guys from now on. It was well after sunset that they finally pulled back into the Samcro lot.

Coming into the clubhouse, Clay asked Chibs, "Where's Marcus?"

"After Tara stabilized him his guys picked him up and took him back to their clubhouse. What's the situation?"

Clay quickly filled Chibs in while the others dispersed about the club. Most of the guys went looking for booze and croweaters to amuse themselves with but Opie and Jax both went looking for their families. As Opie headed upstairs to Jax's room where Lyla and their kids were staying while on lockdown Jax headed for the back towards Chucky's room. Pushing the door open softly he found Tara and the boys fast asleep. He didn't want to risk waking them and have Tara kick him out so he simply grabbed a blanket and pillow form the corner and got comfortable on the floor by the bed. He knew tomorrow was going to be rough. They'd need to make sure that the Lobo situation was handled, and he would need to calm Tara down. This attack was going to set her off again he was sure.

The next morning Tara awoke to Thomas crying and Abel complaining that he was hungry. A quick look around the room revealed that Jax was waking up from his spot on the floor. She was so angry with him. Less than a week out of jail and there was already bloodshed. She knew he was working hard to take the Sons in a different direction, but she couldn't stand the violence. She was so afraid that something was going to happen to the boys.

Without looking at him she took Thomas and said, "You get Abel."

From Tara's avoidance, her refusal to even look at him, Jax knew she was pissed. He also knew she was just waiting to lay into him and would do so without mercy at the first opportunity. Quietly they both went about getting the boys ready for the day, and while Jax desperately wanted to stay and watch Tara nurse Thomas, from the cold shoulder she was giving him he knew it wouldn't be a good idea.

Breakfast passed quickly and was a noisy affair, but all too soon Tara was passing Thomas off to Lyla as she asked her and Gemma to keep an eye on the boys while she spoke to Jax. Her tone spoke volumes and Gemma shot Jax a glare that very clearly said he'd better do whatever was necessary to get back in Tara's good graces.

Once they were safely behind the closed door of Chucky's bedroom Tara spun to face Jax and demanded, "What happened?"

"Some guys who don't want us handing off our business to the Mayans decided to make noise. It's getting handled today."

Jax knew he couldn't let Tara know they were working with Galindo. If she found out that they were having anything to do with a drug cartel, even if it was short term and only involved selling them guns, Tara would totally freak. He knew she would freak and pack up the boys and head to the hills. It's why he'd made the others and his mother swear not to let her find out. They would only be doing business with Galindo for six months, and then they would be well out of the gun world. Those six months would allow them to bank enough cash to venture into their new businesses, and give them the time they'd need to stock pile weapons. Since they would be giving up their pipeline they would need to fill their stores to make sure that they'd have the firepower needed for any future altercations. It's not that they didn't trust Marcus would sell to them if they needed guns, it was just that he and the others agreed that it would be best if they had a shit ton in reserves at various storage points so they'd never have to wait for them if they needed to arm up quickly for any reason.

Tara, sensing that Jax was hiding something from her, asked, "What are you not telling me, Jax?"

Both loving and hating that Tara could read him so well, Jax hedged, "Nothing, babe. Well nothing you need to worry yourself about."

"Nothing I need to worry about? Are you serious?"

"Tara, you're getting upset over nothing. What happened yesterday wasn't that big of a deal, and it is being handled today."

Needing Jax to understand, Tara confided, "I'm afraid, Jax."

"Tara, I promise that—"

"Jax, listen to me." When he held her gaze, Tara repeated, "I'm afraid. I'm afraid every second of every day. I'm afraid I'm going to be driving down the street and someone is going to come up behind me and blow the back of my head off like Donna. So I got my Denali bullet proofed. I'm afraid someone that wants to hurt you is going to break into my house and come after me and our sons. So I built safe rooms all over the house and stocked one of them with weapons. Jax, I'm afraid every second of every day of the danger you put me and the boys in. Do you have any idea what it is like to live in fear all the time?"

Jax had never felt more worthless or disgusted with himself as Tara continued, "Jax, you tell me I'm getting upset over nothing, that having to perform an emergency surgery in this clubhouse to remove a bullet from one of your business associates is nothing for me to worry over, and I can't help but think how fucking stupid that is. What if it had been you? What if hadn't been a bullet to the shoulder and instead had been one that went right through that thick skull of yours? Or what if it had been this clubhouse that was attacked? What if some point in the future you guys do something that pisses someone off and they come here? What if one of those bullets hits one of our boys?"

Tears filled Tara's eyes as she continued, "I'd blame you, Jax, I'd blame you and I'd hate you—and I don't ever want to hate you. I can't be with you, but I don't ever want to hate you."

Moving forward to take hold of her arms, Jax vowed, "Tara, I'm doing everything I can to take us away from the violence, but it won't happen overnight. It's why we went on lockdown, and if Marcus had done the same thing he wouldn't have gotten shot. It's a mistake he's fixed. His club and family are on lockdown now as well. We just need to get through the next six months and then there will be no more blood and bullets, Tara. I promise."

Tara searched Jax's gaze for a moment, his eyes begging her to give him the time he needed to make the changes he was pushing for, before she stepped back from his hold and said, "I'm not to the point of running, but it won't take much to get me there. I don't want to leave Charming, Jax, I don't want to leave you or Samcro, but I have to do what is best for the boys. You know that right?"

"Yes, I do, and I want you to, but I know I can change things. I just need some time, Tara."

When she hesitated Jax moved closer, but was smart enough to not try and take hold of her again, and begged, "Please, Tara, please don't run. Give me six months. If in six months you are still afraid I'll pack up and leave with you."

"Jax, I'm not asking you to choose between me and your club."

"You don't need to, babe, because I've already chosen you and our boys. I just …"

When Jax's words trailed off Tara prodded, "Just what, Jax?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Jax took a moment to organize his thoughts before explaining, "Tara, my father built Samcro. And I know it isn't what he intended, but you read his journal, you know it started out as something better. I'm not arguing that Samcro lost its way. Babe, the Sons are so far off the beaten path that where my father intended them to go might as well be on a different planet."

As Tara stared up at him with those oh so green eyes of hers, Jax continued desperately, "But I know I can get us there. I know I can make the Sons what they were born to be. I can fix us, babe, because I want Samcro to be something that not only are you proud to be a part of but something we'll both be proud of our boys to be a part of."

"Jax," Tara lamented softly, "I want more for our sons than a bike and kutte. I want them to have options."

"So do I, Tara, and it's why I won't let them prospect until after college."

When her eyes widened in total shock, Jax grinned, "Abel and Thomas? They're going to be doctors, or lawyers, or some other fancy shit like that, but they'll be Samcro too. I want Samcro to change because right now I would never let my sons patch. Ever. Not with the way things are, but with where we're headed? The changes we want to make? We're going to have a shit load more Sons that have fancy degrees like yours."

"You're serious?"

"Yes. I want Samcro to be what it has always been capable of being. I just need some time to get us there, so I'm asking you to stay. Please stay. Stay and trust me when I say I can keep us safe until the transition is done."

Tara hesitated a moment. She could understand what Jax was saying. She had come to see that Samcro was more about money, guns, and violence. While Jax and the others were inside she had grown incredibly close with Gemma, Lyla, and the rest of the old ladies. And Chibs, Opie, Miles, Kozic, and Piney were constantly coming by to see if she needed anything. She'd spent many Sunday afternoon and evenings at the weekly Samcro cookout with the boys. So she could understand why Jax was so hell bent on trying to save his club before calling it quits. Not to mention the deep love he had for the club his father built and was truly his legacy. So she knew how much the Sons meant to him, but it didn't make her any less afraid.

' _Still, do I have the right to cut and run? Especially at the first sign of trouble? Samcro is Abel and Thomas's legacy every bit as much as it is Jax's. Would it be fair to pack them up and move right now? To take them and go before Jax has a chance to fix things? When they're older what if they hate me for it? Blame for taking them away from something that is part of their heritage?_ '

Deciding she owed it to her boys to at least try and give it six months, Tara asked, "Will we have to stay on lockdown for the entire time?"

Feeling relief surge through him, Tara's question revealing she was going to give him the time he needed, Jax joked, "I hope not. I love our family and friends, Tara, but it's getting crowded."

"Yeah it is," Tara agreed with a small smile.

Not wanting Tara to doubt his dedication to their safety he added, "But I'm also not willing to risk anything happening, so until we are absolutely certain that any and all danger has passed you, the boys, and everyone else we love are staying here."

There was a moment of silence before Tara promised, "I'm going to do my best to give you the time you need, Jax, but ultimately I'm going to do what is best for the boys."

"And I accept that."

When Tara remained silent Jax teased, "So now do we get to kiss and make up?"

Rolling her eyes Tara scoffed, "You wish."

As Tara turned and headed from the room, Jax asked softly, "Do you like the flowers."

Hesitating at the door with her hand on the knob, Tara took a deep breath and turned to face Jax as she said, "They're nice, Jax, and what you've written—well it means something to me, but you've always been good with words. It's your actions that do damage. All the promises and pretty words in the world don't make up for the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants. They don't make up for the fact that you have proven that you are capable of deliberately hurting me as deeply as possible. As nice as your flowers and cards are, they don't make me trust you."

When Tara turned and left the room Jax cursed and took a seat on the bed as he ran his hands through his hair and thought on her words. He hated hearing how little Tara thought of him. He hated gazing into her eyes and seeing that guarded, wounded look in them. He'd done that to her. He'd made her fear him. He'd shattered her trust in him, and it fucking killed him. He needed to fix shit with her, but he was running out of ideas how.

After a few minutes he decided he needed help, and as much as it was going to hurt he had no choice but to seek out his mother and ask her to help him. Standing up Jax headed from the room. He was going to need to seek out his mother as soon as possible, but first he needed to see Juice. He had a special assignment for him, and then he was going to speak to Clay. He had some ideas on what they could do to boost their security not only for right now, but for any future situations. He was pretty sure Clay would back him and when they presented the idea to the rest of club he was certain it would get a yes vote all around.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next week passed in a blur for everyone. Thankfully Galindo was indeed able to wipe out Lobo Sonora's small crew in one swoop, and had brought in a sizeable amount of their own men to back up the Mayans and Sons, and oversee the Mayans distribution of their coke. Once Clay stressed to them how little it would take to have the Irish Kings walking away Romeo and Luis had thought it best to establish a firm presence in the area to head off any potential complications. They needed the Irish guns to win their war against Lobo so they needed to secure the area so that the Kings wouldn't back out. Though while that issue had been tackled quickly that didn't mean the Sons were any less bogged down with work.

The changes they were pushing for were not coming easy. Not only had Jax brought up some additional moves and businesses for the Sons to make that had all passed the vote at the table and added to their work load, but Colette wasn't the only madam or pimp that was less than thrilled with the idea of getting pushed out by the Sons. Charles Barosky was proving to be an obstacle for the Sons, and one they were determined to annihilate completely. For the most part the Sons intended to buy out most of their competition, but there were a few they intended to just get rid of and be done with it, and Barosky was one of them. It was two days after the attack on the Mayans that left Alvarez wounded that Jax had dragged Juice out of his room and brought him down to Church so they could discuss everything he'd been working on, and the special assignments Jax had given two days before.

 _"So Juice, how's that list coming?" Clay asked the red eyed and clearly fatigued Juice near the end of the table._

 _"I'm making some real headway, and I've definitely got enough for you guys to get started on, but I had to take a break to work on the stuff Jax gave me."_

 _Turning to Jax, Clay demanded, "What is so important you pulled him off that list? Finding out who we need in our pocket and digging up dirt on them should be top priority, VP."_

 _"It is important, but so is shutting Hale and Charming Heights down and making sure that he doesn't get a chance to rebuild. And we also owe Otto vengeance for what happened to Luanne. I had Juice dig into Georgie's whereabouts."_

 _Grinning from the end of the table, Juice added, "Georgie's back in town. Has a new setup."_

 _There was a moment of silence as they all remembered Luanne's brutal death, before Jax continued, "We didn't have the time to go after Georgie before, but now that he's back we owe Otto that fucker's blood. I had Juice dig into him and he's got an address. I think we should have that little bitch sign over his entire business to us for next to nothing, make him think he's buying his pass for Luanne's death, and then we take him into the desert to meet Mr. Mayhem. We owe Otto that."_

 _"And Georgie is pulling in big bucks with his porn. His business is making three times as much as CaraCara from what I found," Juice agreed._

 _Seeing the rightness of what they were saying, Clay looked around the table and said, "Sounds good. Who wants to head that up? I need Jax with me, so anyone else looking to take that on?"_

 _"I will," Bobby volunteered. He still felt guilty for everything that went down with Luanne and his betrayal of a brother by banging his old lady. His need to give this to Otto and avenge Luanne had him promising, "I'll nail that fucker to the wall. I'll get him to sign his business over to us and then I'll find a nice spot in the desert for him to rot in. No problem."_

 _"I'll back you," Happy offered._

 _"The hell you will," Jax denied. "You're on my old lady. The same way Tig is on Gemma and Quinn is on Lyla. Until we are off of lockdown our women stay under armed guard."_

 _"But, I can—"_

 _"No," Jax growled, his eyes hard as steel as he ordered, "our women stay under armed guard every second of every day until this shit is done. In fact I'm for us keeping them under armed guard indefinitely."_

 _"What do you mean? We can't afford to have our brothers shadowing the girls all the time, Jax," Clay admonished._

 _"I'm not saying our brothers. I mean our prospects." As everyone looked at him, Jax continued, "Look, our biggest fear with our prospects is that they'll nark on us. But if we get them setup with permits to carry and have them tail our old ladies than even if they do end up in a gunfight it won't be illegal. The guns they'll be carrying will be legal, and they would only use them in defense of our women. So if they do end up killing someone it won't be a convictable offense. So there is no risk in having them packing and tailing our girls. So seeing as how we're about to have over 20 prospects in the next few months, I think we should make an armed detail standard for any patched member's old lady. This will eliminate any risk of someone getting the drop on our families to use them against us in the future. For now we can use the prospects immediately, but once we've got the new batch next year we can make it a rule that only second year prospects can be on protection duty for our families."_

 _Clay, liking the idea of Gemma having an armed guard at all times, especially after what happened with Zoebelle, agreed, "That actually sounds like a good idea, and we will have a shit load of prospects to choose from soon."_

 _Bobby couldn't help but laugh, "And it will weed out the ones who don't have what it takes to make it in this club. If they can't make it a few days following after Gemma than they sure as hell aren't Samcro material."_

 _"I don't know, bro," Opie chuckled, "I'd rather spend five years in Lompoc than a day trying to tail Gemma when she doesn't want me to. She's scary when she's mad."_

 _Rubbing his black eye, Happy grumbled, "She's not the only one."_

 _Clay grinned and asked, "You really not going to tell us how Doc gave you that black eye, Killer?"_

 _Happy glared hard at Tig when his brother grinned at him, and then said, "Ask Tara. All I got to say is that your old lady is capable of taking care of herself, Jax."_

 _Eyes widening in shock at the implication in Happy's words, Jax asked, "You saying she punched you? Seriously? And you let her?"_

 _"Didn't let her do shit! Your old lady isn't as helpless as you seem to think she is. Why don't you ask her what the fuck she's been up to while we were inside? Find out what has her all toned and shit. She might surprise you."_

 _That definitely had Jax determined to draw Tara aside as soon as possible and grill her about what Happy was talking about, but he didn't get a chance to ask anymore questions as Clay announced, "We can talk about that shit later. Right now we need to settle who is helping Bobby with Georgie."_

 _"I'll do it," Opie offered, "I'll back him. We'll take some of the Nomads and go pay him a visit."_

 _Nodding his head at the plan, Clay agreed, "Ok. So that's settled. Anything else Jax?"_

 _"Yeah, I also had Juice dig into Hale. Juice?"_

 _As everyone's eyes turned to him, Juice explained, "Hale dove into Charming Heights too soon. He has the money to finish the houses in the first phase of development, but he doesn't have the investors he needs to buy out most of the businesses in town he's been gunning for, or to start the second phase of housing development. The town votes next month on whether to allow him to begin the commercial development and the second phase of housing development. If he's got the financial backing then they will probably vote it through."_

 _"So we've got one chance to shut it down," Jax concluded. When everyone turned to look at him, Jax continued, "Look, no on in Charming wants to loose what makes this town Charming, but the fact remains the people here need jobs. Even if we somehow manage to stop Hale by outlaw means, sooner or later expansion will come. So the way I see it we need to offer this town an alternative. We need to get them back on our side, and we need to provide a way for them to earn for their families as well."_

 _"Meaning?" Clay didn't know what Jax had up his sleeve, but he was coming to learn that his stepson had quite the head for business and most of his ideas so far were working out._

 _"First, we need a gesture of goodwill towards this town. We brought a shit load of trouble and blood down on them over the past few years, and we owe them for that. We need to earn their trust back and remind them that Samcro wants what is best for Charming. So seeing as how we are bringing in nearly a mil every month selling guns to Galindo for the next six months, and our pussy business will bring in over ten times as much as we used to make selling guns before we went in I say we stop taking the 10k in protection money we make off Charming businesses for personal use and instead funnel that money into Samcro Community Center."_

 _When everyone looked at him in shock, Jax continued, "Hale forced Lumpy out, but his financing for his building fell through. It's sitting there waiting for a new buyer. As are the four other stores on that strip. Hale was able to force them out of business, but as Juice said, is financing fell through and he wasn't able to buy them. I say we put in an offer, knock down some walls to turn it into one huge facility, spruce the place up, and then use the protection money we've been getting from the town to run it. We can setup a free daycare, a gym, put in a computer lab for the school kids, and make it free for the people of Charming. We might even be able to get Lumpy to come back and head up the gym. You know he didn't want to leave. He just couldn't afford to stay."_

 _"Are you serious, Jackie boy?" Chibs couldn't believe Jax had been thinking about this, but he had to admit the idea had appeal._

 _Nodding his head, Jax said, "Yes, I'm serious. We need to show this town that we mean it when we say we have their best interest at heart, because we'll need their support when the vote happens next month. We'll need them to believe we can bring them jobs without changing Charming."_

 _"And how do we do that?" Clay could see the appeal of the community center that Jax was talking about, and once they had it setup it really wouldn't cost them anything to run it since they would use the protection money. Which they really wouldn't need with their new income from pussy._

 _Grinning, Jax replied, "By doing what we do best."_

 _"Which is?" Piney was eager to hear what Jax had planned as well. Seeing John's son change the Sons into what they had always dreamed it to be was all he'd ever hoped for. He'd lost his faith in the Sons awhile ago, but Jax was bringing it back. He was glad he'd be here long enough to see them become what he and John had intended them to be._

 _"Booze," Jax laughed. "We go into booze. Juice, tell them what you've found."_

 _Pulling out his laptop, Juice explained, "Jax had me dig into small breweries across the country. Find out how much it took them to start up business, how fast they grew, what their employee status is and so on."_

 _Leaning forward, Clay asked, "What did you find?"_

 _"Several of the most successful small breweries in the US started with only a few dozen employees, but within five years they had expanded to several hundred employees and multimillion dollar corporations. Some have even grown to multibillion dollar corporations."_

 _Looking at his stepfather, Jax said, "Clay, remember that homemade scotch you use to brew up?"_

 _Nodding his head, Clay replied "Yeah, but it's been nearly fifteen years since I made a batch."_

 _"Do you still have the recipe?"_

 _"I'm sure your mother has it in storage somewhere."_

 _With everyone's eyes on him, Jax continued, "I saw we patent it, and start selling our own scotch. Samcro Scotch. We could launch it at the same time as we launch our bike business in Sturgis. Again, we use our weight to get it on the shelves of non chain liquor stores, take it to shows with us, and sell online. We could even get our own beer recipe and start marketing that. It would start small, maybe moving a few thousand cases the first year, but if we can push the marketing in five years time we could have a large brewery here in Charming that will provide all the jobs the people in town are going to need. Meaning they'll never vote to let Hale expand like he keeps wanting to."_

 _Looking around the room, Jax insisted, "If we can't bring jobs to this town the town will vote for Hale. Even if we stop him at this upcoming vote, it won't stop him for good. The people need jobs. They want to keep Charming the way it is, but in the end everyone has to earn. The mill has been declining for years, and jobs are dwindling. Unless we can come up with a business that employs hundreds the town will have no choice but to approve expansion projects."_

 _Seeing the logic but worried about the cost, Clay asked, "And how much will it cost to get something like that up and running? We're already laying down a shit load for the real estate and to start up the bike business. We're making a lot of money on Galindo, Jax, but taking on too much will blow through all that cash."_

 _Grinning, Jax said, "It won't cost us a thing, because we're going to have an investor to front us all the money. Someone with millions, someone who hates Hale as much as we do, and someone just as eager to keep Charming the way it is. Not to mention someone who owes us big."_

 _His own smile growing, Clay guessed, "Oswald."_

 _"Oswald." Looking down the table, Jax explained, "If we get a good business plan, show Oswald that Samcro Spirits Company can be a success, I'm sure he'll invest a few million to fund our startup in exchange for 10% of the company. This way it doesn't cost us anything to start it. He'll supply the startup money and our jobs will be promoting our product and using our influence to get it on the shelves. It's a win/win for everyone. Oswald gets a chance to replace his lumber business with a new one that in time will bring in more than he ever made with the mill, and we'll all get a chance to provide the jobs that Charming needs to keep corporate America at bay."_

 _There was a moment of silence before Piney joked, "When the hell did you get so fucking smart, Jax? I thought you smoked all those brain cells away?"_

 _Everyone had a laugh before Tig pointed out, "Who's going to head that up though? I agree, Jax, it's a great plan, and I'm all about having free booze for life, but with all the other shit we're into right now we don't have time to set all that up before the town votes next month."_

 _"Ma," Jax answered. "She's bored out of her mind with the shop shut down while we're on lockdown. She's been running the crow eaters ragged and making their lives hell. So she's got the time to find a consultant and a business planner to setup the proposal for us. She's also the one that would have the best chance of getting the funding from Oswald. I say we toss it to her and let her dig her teeth into it. The community center too. It will keep her off our backs and with her working on it she'll definitely have shit done when we need it by. That way next month when the town hearing takes place we'll have a plan ready to go to present to the council and the townspeople. And if we start the community center now and have it up and running next month when the hearing takes place they'll see we're serious about heading in a new direction."_

 _"Do you think we can get the community center up and running that fast?" Opie was completely on board with all these changes that Jax was pushing for, but he wasn't as certain about the timetable that he was putting them on._

 _"I don't see why not," Clay said. "Lumpy's is already set up as a gym. He sold off all his equipment in his going out of business sale, but we could get a bunch of gym shit off of Craigslist, and we could build a new ring. And it's not like the other stores are condemned. They are just out of business. It shouldn't take much to knock down some walls and connect them all into one building. And we'll have the place fully staffed a week after putting job postings in the paper."_

 _"And we should be able to get computers and shit on the cheap if we get broken ones and have our resident geek here fix them up," Bobby added with a grin towards Juice._

 _Nodding his head, Juice agreed, "I just need another week or so to work on our other shit, but then I'll have some time to work on that."_

 _Kozic said, "I think we could pull it off. If we put in an offer now we could have the titles to the whole strip by the end of the week, and then we could hire some town guys to start fixing it up. We already got our first 200k from Galindo on Monday, and we're getting our next payment in a few days. We'll have the money for the down payment."_

 _Getting into the idea, Bobby suggested, "And maybe we could advertise it in the paper? Put that it will have a free daycare and gym in there for people to sign up for. And maybe we can get some of the high school kids to volunteer to do tutoring or some shit."_

 _Looking at Bobby, Jax suggested, "And maybe you could give guitar lessons once or twice a week. Like group lessons for kids or something?"_

 _"There is a whole lot we can do with this. I think we should get on it ASAP. We're going to need the town's backing to stop Hale," Clay announced before calling, "I'm a yes. Votes?"_

 _The others quickly agreed and voted yes on the booze business as well, so Clay said, "Miles, go get my old lady."_

 _A few minutes later Gemma came into the Chapel with Miles closing the door behind them as she asked, "What's up?"_

 _Clay quickly gave her a rundown on their ideas for the community center and their booze idea, and Gemma said, "I can definitely get started on that. The community center should come together relatively easily, but the booze might take some more time. I know where the recipe is in storage, but I don't know how to get it patented or any of that shit."_

 _"But do you think you can do it? And do you think Oswald would invest?" Clay knew they'd need Oswald's backing. Jax's idea was good, but they needed the money they were making from Galindo to bankroll their new real estate and bike business. They couldn't afford to invest in the booze right now._

 _Nodding her head, Gemma assured, "I just need to do some research. I'll head to the real estate office and find out what they are asking for Lumpy's and the other stores and let them know we're interested. After that I'll start looking for a consultant to help us get the brewery off the ground and see about patenting your recipe, but what about the beer? We don't have our own recipe for that."_

 _"Think you can tinker around and come up with one?"_

 _Clay had barely finished his question before Tig threw his hand up in the air and offered, "I volunteer for taste testing."_

 _"Me too," Happy added as his hand went up._

 _"I am so about helping the club out in this," Chibs laughed as he too volunteered to taste test._

 _Gemma just laughed as she said, "I'll have the girls dig into it. We should be able to get a base recipe off the internet and can tweak it for patent purposes. It might take awhile though."_

 _"Again, I'm here for as much taste testing as you need, Gem," Tig replied._

 _Rolling her eyes, Gemma said, "I'm sure you are. In fact I'm sure there won't be any problem finding taste testers around here."_

 _"Good," Clay interjected, "get started on that. We want to own Lumpy's and the other stores by the end of the week, and the sooner you get a business plan drawn up for us to approach Oswald with for funding the better. We're going to need him."_

 _"Sure thing, Clay. I'll get on the computer and start looking for a consultant right now, and as soon as you guys are done Tig can take me to the realty office."_

 _Once Gemma was gone, Clay looked at Jax and asked, "So what else you got brewing in the genius head of yours, VP?"_

 _"Other than that my only suggestion is protection."_

 _"So having armed guards on our women all the time isn't all you got in mind?" Tig had originally been against all these changes Jax was pushing for, but more and more he was starting to see the big picture and end goal that his VP was heading them for, and he liked what he saw._

 _Shaking his head, Jax explained, "We need to have more skills than we got, and right now we have the perfect opportunity to get those skills at little to no cost."_

 _"What the fuck are you talking about, son?" Piney didn't know what Jax meant either, but he definitely wanted to hear it._

 _"Galindo," Jax replied with a grin. "Galindo is run by former Mexican special forces."_

 _"So?" Clay couldn't see where Jax was going with this, but he wanted to find out. The changes Jax had them making were ensuring that Samcro would last through the coming years, and not only that but each and every member would end up making bank._

 _"So we need to capitalize on it." At everyone's skeptical expressions, Jax continued, "Look, a lot of the heat with Stahl never would have happened if we hadn't taken out Hefner the way we did. If we'd had the skills to kill that bastard with a .50 cal sniper riffle a half mile out they never would have had a witness to link us to that crime to begin with."_

 _Putting two and two together, Bobby guessed, "You want us to have Romeo train us?"_

 _Nodding his head, Jax said, "He's got the manpower to spare a few of his commando guys for the next six months. So we make a deal with him and then those of us interested in it train up. We learn some sniper skills, some surveillance skills, and all that other military shit."_

 _Seeing everyone's focus on him, Jax said, "I don't ever want to be unprepared for anything ever again. Yeah, we're getting out of guns and going into pussy, but the same way we're taking over someone else might try to a few years down the line. If we learn this shit? We can take out any competition before it ever gets close. We'll no longer rely on more numbers and firepower to win our fights. We'll win them simply by being better trained, and we'd be able to train our prospects too. We'll be able to build a fucking army. Learning weapons and tactics will ensure we're always able to defend our territory from anyone and anything. It means we never run the risk of an up close hit again. We mark someone for death and we'll have a clubhouse full of military trained snipers ready to take them out."_

 _"Jesus, Jax," Tig muttered, "that's fucking genius! I am so in."_

 _"Me too," Happy replied with a broad grin. He was definitely eager to expand his killing skills._

 _"Why does that not surprise me," Clay laughed before focusing on Jax and saying, "that's some next level shit, son, but a damn fine idea. I'm a yes."_

 _The others quickly voted yes with Kozic suggesting that they reach out to the other charters and see if any of them had members that wanted to come train as well. With that finished, Clay asked, "So what do we do about Barosky? That fucker is all kinds of connected. We go at him head on and it won't end well, but I definitely don't want to do busy with that fucker."_

 _"Neither do I," Jax spat with distaste, remembering his disgust when they'd gone to the docks and seen Barosky's torture porn studio._

 _Raising his hand, Opie suggested, "Let's toss him to Roosevelt."_

 _When everyone looked at him like he was crazy, Opie explained, "We need a good will gesture to give Roosevelt. Something to prove to him we're moving in a new and better direction. He gave us a pass on those Russians we left at Charming Heights because of Tara, and from what she said he's willing to see how things go before trying to come after us. The way I see it let Roosevelt have Barosky."_

 _Shaking his head, Clay pointed out, "That's not his jurisdiction. He couldn't do anything."_

 _"He could get shit moving though. He's well connected, and he's got a shit load of friends in law enforcement. If we let him know that Barosky is dirty and give him the names of the dirty cops that bitch is working with he'd know how to go after them without tipping them off. It would buy us some goodwill with him, and it would handle Barosky for us," Opie replied._

 _"Not sure how I feel about ratting to the police, brother," Tig denied._

 _"Can't rat on a pig, brother," Opie countered. "Barosky's not outlaw or gang. He's a cop that played dirty while wearing the badge, and is hiding behind other dirty ass cops to keep making money. And he's making money off of hurting women. I don't give a shit about offering him up to Roosevelt."_

 _"Especially if it gets rid of him for us while buying us some goodwill with our good Sheriff," Jax agreed, grinning down the table at his best friend._

 _Clay, coming around to the idea, asked, "And how do we go about it?"_

 _"Same way we went about taking out Zoebelle," Opie replied. "We tail the fuckers until we have enough evidence on them to use. We spend a few weeks getting pics of Barosky and his dirty cop ring and then give Roosevelt a care package. Let him take it from there."_

 _"Alright, Chibs, you take Miles and get on that," Clay ordered._

The rest of Church had gone fairly quickly, with them ironing out the details for their new plans, but since then? Shit had definitely been hectic. Surprisingly Romeo had not balked at the idea of loaning them two of his guys to train them at all, and had even provided his men for free as a gesture of good will. So because of that Jax, Opie, Miles, Juice, Tig, Happy, Quinn, and about 22 other sons from various charters were up at 4:30 every morning for five hours of physical and weapons training with the two Special Forces men from Galindo. After their training they split up and spent the rest of the day running around trying to carry out their business plans. Bobby and Opie had taken out Georige the day after the scumbag signed over his business to Samcro for a whopping $10. Jax didn't know exactly where they'd buried the fucker, and he didn't give a shit. All he cared about was that Bobby had finally been able to get word to Otto on death row that Luanne had been avenged.

Though Jax and the others didn't intend for Otto to be there for long. After they started training with the Galindo men Clay had suggested that once they finished their six months of training and things had calmed down they should come up with a plan to break Otto out of prison. Once Jax and the others were fully trained by the Galindo guys if they could find some reason for Otto to require a trip to the hospital they could stop his transport in transit and break him out. They were determined to make it happen and had gotten word to Otto in prison that it might take them a year or so to make it happen, but they were working on a plan to free him. Once they got him out they could smuggle him to Belfast and set him up there. Jax had even been looking into getting Otto some eye transplants on the black market. Otto was eligible for the surgery physically, but because he was on death row the judge had denied his request.

The move to setup the community center had also gone smoothly. When Piney reached out to Lumpy in Florida the older man hadn't been able to hop on a plane fast enough to come back. He'd only left Charming because he simply hadn't been making enough money to survive, and certainly not enough to rebuild after Hector tore through his gym, but with the Sons footing the bill? He was more than willing to come back and had worked out a deal with Samcro to manage the gym and train boxers for $1000 a month and the right to take over the small living quarters above the gym. The bank, which had taken over Lumpy's title when Hale's financing fell through, had also given the Sons a sweetheart deal on his business and the rest of the ones on the strip.

In fact, Mr. Sanders, the owner and general manager of Charming Town Bank and Trust had pretty much given it to them for next to nothing. When Gemma had gone by and laid out their plans for the town, going into detail about the community center, the bike business, their expanding porn business, and their plan to open up their own brewery, he had jumped at the opportunity. Mr. Sanders had grown up in Charming. His great grandfather opened up Charming Town Bank and Trust over a hundred years ago, and Mr. Sanders knew if Hale's plans followed through then his days were numbered. He'd get pushed out by big business. So he saw this as his opportunity to support the Sons, and to save his own business.

Construction had already started, and Gemma had placed the ad in the Charming Gazette listing the positions they'd need filled to staff the center, as well as telling people how to enroll their kids in the daycare or Lumpy's training program. The response from the town had been overwhelming to say the least. The jobs had been filled in less than a day, and so many people had applied for the daycare that Gemma had suggested they dedicate a good third of the new center to the daycare. Needless to say the town was definitely noticing that the Sons were changing. And changing a lot.

Gemma had also found a consultant to start work on their brewery company. The man had over 30 years of experience in the bar, liquor, and brewery industries, and he had made them an offer. After Gemma contacted him and he flew down for a meeting with her to hear their pitch he offered to waive his normal consulting fee of $400,000 for a year's work to just $35,000 in exchange for 2% stake in the company. The club accepted his offer immediately. The man's name was Alexander Knoxx, and as soon as he signed on he got to work immediately patenting the club's scotch recipe and building a business plan to approach Oswald with. Knoxx was certain he'd have a plan to go to Oswald with next week to secure financing, and Gemma had the crow eaters working overtime testing out beer recipes. They were on track to counter Hale's plans at the town's vote next month.

In addition to that the club had approached seven other brothels and escort businesses. Four they made an offer to buy out, and the other three they were putting plans in place to simply push out in the most permanent way possible. Thankfully, the four they offered to buy out had agreed to their terms, and Clay and Jax were fairly certain that by the time they were ready to make their move on the other three they could take them out in one fell swoop.

Still, Barosky and Colette were proving to be a problem. Colette flatly refused to sell the second time they'd gone to visit her. They didn't know what had given her the courage to tell them no a second time, but they knew she had to have something cooking in order to stand up to them the way she was. With that in mind Jax had put a detail of two Nomads on her. He wanted to know what the fuck she was up to, and they were trying to buy off one of her girls to give them inside information.

As for Barosky? The man obviously knew they intended to push him out and because of that he had his dirty cops trying to make waves for them. The day after putting Chibs and Miles on tailing Barosky, Kozic and one of the Nomads had been pulled over by one of Barosky's dirty cops while in Stockton. The fool had tried to plant drugs on them and bust them on bogus charges, but Kozic and the Nomad made a break for it and were able to lose him. As the cop was riding dirty he hadn't been able to call it in. Thankfully they weren't in Barosky's jurisdiction, so as long as they stayed out of it he wouldn't be able to come at them with his dirty cops in Stockton. Still, they needed intel on him. With that in mind they'd reached out to Leroy, who agreed to tail Barosky and his crew for a $50,000 fee. Which definitely paid off. Barosky was an arrogant prick and did nothing to hide his illegal activities since he had so many cops on his payroll. After only a few days the Niners provided Samcro more than enough evidence for them to take to Roosevelt.

Which is where they Jax and Clay were headed now. Church had just ended and Juice had finally come through with a list of 30 some odd officials they were going to start going after. Of course there were more that Juice was tracking down, but that was a good start for them. With Georgie handled Bobby was heading up that project and he and Opie were taking a crew of Nomads to go after a district attorney in Stockton that had a fondness for prostitutes of the young male variety. As he was married with a wife and kids and stood to inherit a shit load from his wife's deeply conservative parents they knew just how to hit him. They'd enlisted the help of a transvestite by the name of Venus Van Dam in getting some photographic evidence against him and were ready to confront the man.

While Bobby and the others handled that Clay and Jax were headed to meet Roosevelt. They'd reached out to him the day before and hinted that they had some information that he would be interested in. Roosevelt had agreed to meet them in private. Still, as he had barely seen Tara all week due to the fact he was up before dawn for training and didn't it back to the clubhouse until well after dark, Jax told Clay as they got on their bikes to head out of the lot, "Need to swing by the hospital."

Clay at first wanted to remind Jax that they needed to handle business first, but seeing his son's weary expression, and knowing how hard his VP was pushing himself to change shit, finally agreed, "Yeah. It's been awhile since you set eyes on your old lady. Though I hear she's finally letting you sleep on the floor in Chucky's room."

"Yeah. She took that bit of mercy on me, but I think it has more to do with the fact I'm not getting back to the lot at night until after she and the boys are asleep. She's not exactly awake so she can't kick me out."

"Seriously, Jax, how are things?"

Jax hesitated a moment before replying, "She doesn't trust me, and I don't know how to fix that. She says my promises are meaningless because all I've ever done is break them."

"She's got to see how hard you're busting your ass to change things. That has to count for something."

"I hope so, but I haven't even really gotten a chance to see or speak to her in the last week we've been so fucking busy."

"Doing important shit, Jax."

Nodding his head, Jax agreed, "I know, and Tara knows it too, it's why she hasn't given me any grief for not spending a whole lot of time with the boys right now. She knows this is important for us to turn the club around, it's just …"

"You need time with her to make things right," Clay finished.

"Yeah I do, but the problem is even if I do make time to spend with her she won't let me close. She keeps insisting that we're not right for each other. She says I need to find a girl that doesn't give a shit when I cheat."

Clay looked hard at Jax before asking, "You seriously think you can stay faithful to her and only her? Be with only one woman the rest of your life?"

"Yes. I know everyone thinks I can't control my dick, Clay, but like I keep saying I'm a different man. I don't want sex anymore. I want to make love to my old lady, and if you tell anyone I said that I'll knock your teeth down your throat."

Grinning, Clay laughed, "I won't say shit, but if you're serious, if you really mean to be with Tara and only Tara then that is what you need to prove to her."

"I know, but how?"

Clay replied, "Don't look at me. Your mother isn't like Tara. She doesn't give a shit about crow eaters or anything that happens on runs. And if my shit makes it to Charming? She's fine with smacking the whore around and me making peace with a new piece of jewelry. Your doc ain't like that so I got no clue how to help you fix your problems with her."

At Jax's distressed look Clay added, "But I can give you some time. After your training tomorrow you take the rest of the day off. We'll cover you. You spend some time with your family. It's Friday, right? So Tara will have the day off. Take her and your boys somewhere."

"You sure? We have that meet with Galindo for the next shipment to prepare for, and the meeting with Dondo and Lyla to expand CaraCara to incorporate Georgie's business."

"I'm sure. We can handle it. Keep your prepay on you in case we need you, but we should be able to handle things."

"Thanks," revving up his bike, Jax added, "of course this all depends on Tara agreeing to spend time with me."

"That's up to you, son," Clay laughed as he followed Jax out of the lot.

Twenty minutes later Jax and Clay were making their way down the hospital hallway when they spotted Margaret speaking to a nurse. "Hey, you know where Tara is?"

Margaret faced Jax as she replied, "Tara, is working, Mr. Teller. Unless this is an emergency you should leave her to her business."

Realizing that whatever leeway the woman had been willing to give him when Tara's surgery went horribly wrong was gone, Jax glared at her and replied, "Lady, I know you don't like me, and believe me the feeling is mutual, but Tara is my business. Now do you know where she is or not? And just so you know if you don't tell me I'll go through this hospital room by room until I find her."

Clay, leveling a threatening glare at the woman, added, "I'd listen to him, Ma'am."

Margaret, knowing Tara was in her office with Dr. Matthews, the new intern that had just transferred here from Texas, and knowing that Dr. Matthews held a definite torch for Tara, couldn't help replying, "She's been in her office for the past hour. She's in a meeting."

Jax didn't say anything more as he made his way towards Tara's office with Clay following. He spotted Happy sitting in one of the chairs placed outside Tara's door and nodded at him. He had intended to wait outside her office for her to finish her meeting, but when he heard laughter coming from inside he found himself knocking as he pushed the door open at the same time, and what he found inside had his blood boiling. Tara was seated behind her desk laughing at whatever the jackass sitting in front of her was saying.

Happy, seeing his President and VP and knowing that Tara had a guy in her office did nothing to stop Jax from entering. He'd thought about calling Jax earlier and let him know that some doctor was sniffing around Tara, but decided against it. Since Tara didn't seem particularly responsive to Doctor Dickhead's blatant flirting he figured there was no reason to start trouble just yet.

Tara's laughter ended as her eyes widened at the sight of Jax and she greeted hesitantly, "Jax, what are you doing here?"

His eyes going from Tara to the idiot sitting opposite her before focusing back on his old lady, Jax growled, "Stopped by to see you. Haven't had a chance to talk to you much this week."

"Is there a problem?"

"No."

The room fell into uncomfortable silence for a moment before Jax asked, "And who is this?"

Tara could tell Jax was getting upset and she introduced, "Richard, this is Jax."

Richard, having heard that Tara and Jax were broken up but still a little in the dark about their tumultuous relationship, stood to offer his hand to Jax as he said, "Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Matthews. Just started interning here."

Jax stared at the other man's hand for a second before gripping it too hard to shake as he replied, "Aren't you a little old to be an intern?" Jax didn't like the look of this guy. He had to be as old as him and Tara, and the fact he was good looking for a guy didn't sit well with him either. Especially if the bastard was going to be spending time around his Tara. He'd seen the way he had been eyeing up Tara, how this prick had been appreciating Tara's beauty, and it pissed Jax the fuck off.

Dr. Matthews, picking up on Jax's hostility, replied, "I spent six years in the Marine Corps before going to medical school when I was honorably discharged at the end of my service. Meant a late start, but it also meant I only had to take out some 100k in student loans since the government foot the bill for the rest."

Tara stood from her desk and said, "Richard, I'll get with you later." From the look in Jax's eyes she knew it wouldn't take him much to get violent so she thought it best to bring the meeting to a close. She'd finish going over Dr. Matthews new rotation duties with him tomorrow.

"Alright, Tara, and think about next week."

As Dr. Matthews went to leave Jax and Clay both refused to move so he had to squeeze by them. When he was gone Clay said, "I'll just wait outside."

When Clay was gone Jax shut the door with a definite click and spun to face Tara as he demanded, "What the fuck was he talking about next week?"

Tara hesitated only a moment before replying honestly, "Richard heard that I'm a fan of old movies. They're having a showing of Citizen Kane at the theater next week and he invited me."

"What the fuck, Tara!"

Before Jax could get all worked up, Tara added, "I already told him I couldn't go."

"You tell him you weren't interested at all? That you're in a relationship?"

"No, I didn't, because it would be a lie. I'm not in a relationship. I just have a domineering ex that thinks he can dictate my life—which he can't."

Moving to lean close to her, Jax hissed, "I'll kill him, Tara. I'll kill any man that you show the slightest bit of interest in. You remember that."

Tara wasn't intimidated in the least, and while she had no interest in Richard, she couldn't help replying, "You're bluffing. You can't mean that."

Leveling his best glare at her, Jax threatened, "You just try me. That fucker lays a finger on you and I'll bury him a hell of a lot deeper than I put Kohn."

"Are you really trying to scare me into being with you?"

Shaking his head, Jax countered, "No. I'm just letting you know what will happen if you try to be with anyone else. You'll never have anything to fear from me, Tara, but I'll rip apart anyone that tries to come between us. That fucker comes anywhere near you and I'll put a bullet in him."

Jax, knowing that things were getting out of control and he was about to say or do something that would make things worse, turned to head out of the office as he said over his shoulder, "Stay away from him, Tara, or I'll make sure he's not around for you to see at all."

When Jax slammed the door shut behind him he glared at Happy and ordered, "That fucker comes near her again you call me."

"Sure thing, VP."

Happy didn't get to say anything else as Jax started down the hall angrily while pulling out his phone while Clay fell in step beside him and listened as his stepson barked into his cell, "Juice, you dig up everything you can on a Richard Matthews. He's a new intern at St. Thomas. I want to know absolutely everything there is to know about him by the time Clay and I get back."

When Jax put his cell back in his pocket Clay asked, "You don't think Tara is seriously trying to start some shit with that guy do you?"

"No, but the way he was looking at her he's definitely trying to start some shit with her, and I'm not going to let that happen. And while I don't think she's interested in him she might try to make a point with him, and I intend to nix that shit right now."

"I think you're overreacting, Jax."

Jax's voice was pure death as he added, "Tara is mine, Clay, and she's always going to be mine. No matter what I have to do to keep her."


	13. Chapter 13

Hope everyone had a happy holiday!

Chapter 13

After leaving the hospital Jax and Clay made their way to the meeting point they'd given Roosevelt. It was an abandoned gas station on the highway just outside Charming. As they rolled in they saw Roosevelt standing beside his police SUV, and Jax greeted, "Sheriff."

"Jax," Roosevelt replied as he took his sunglasses off while asking, "so why I am here?"

"Got some info you might be interested in," Clay answered as he and Jax put the kickstands down on their bikes. After taking off their helmets they came to stand before Roosevelt as Clay added, "Thought we'd give you a bit of a peace offering."

Pulling the manila envelope out of his cut that held all their surveillance evidence against Barosky to hold it out to the sheriff, Jax said, "There's an ex cop with an illegal porn setup who has a shit load of other dirty cops on his payroll in Stockton. He's got a whole ring of cops doing his dirty work. Thought you might be interested."

Accepting the large envelope Eli opened it up and spent several minutes going through the photos of various Stockton police taking bribes, paying bribes, beating on women, and a ton of other shit that got his blood boiling. As much as he hated gangsters and outlaws that hurt innocent people he hated dirty cops more. They were a disgrace to the uniform.

Putting the photos back in the envelope Eli asked, "Why are you giving this to me?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Jax replied, "Figured you could do something with it."

At the sheriff's skeptical expression, Jax explained, "Look, we know you got no love for us, and I'll be the first to admit Samcro has made a shit load of mistakes previously that caused this town pain, but we're moving away from all of that. We're trying to do better. Be better."

"Into pussy? You want me to push out your competition for you?"

Shaking his head, Clay denied, "No. Most of the places we're taking over we're doing peaceably, buying out, but we're not giving this Barosky fucker a dime."

"Dig into him, Sheriff," Jax suggested, "what we just gave you? It's just the tip of the iceberg. The shit he's into? We don't do that. We don't do it, and we don't support it. He's into torture porn, and he doesn't let his girls know that is what they will be doing before they sign their contracts. He gets them to sign onto a film and then he does whatever the fuck he wants with them. And if they try to back out he just ties them up and keeps filming. Those screams on his films are real, and those girls can't do shit about it because he's got so many dirty cops on his payroll. Whatever you might think of us we've never hurt women, and we're not going to do business with a man that does."

"So we figured we'd give it to you," Clay finished. "We want his territory, but we're not willing to buy him out. We're not giving that fucker one red cent."

Looking back and forth between the two outlaws, Eli said, "I'm not Unser, boys, and this won't buy you any leeway from me. I'm not going to turn the other cheek."

"We don't need you to," Jax replied. "In case you haven't been paying attention we're moving in a new direction."

"I heard you're leaving guns, but I find it hard to believe guys like you are leaving the outlaw life behind," Roosevelt replied.

Getting aggravated, Jax asked, "Is this off the books?"

Pointedly looking around them at the deserted gas station and empty highway, Eli answered, "Obviously."

"Then here it is—we're leaving guns. Are we going legit? No. We're taking over all the pussy trade in the surrounding areas, but Charming stays clear. Charming will be where we set up all our legitimate businesses. We learned from our mistakes, Roosevelt, and we know the way we did business before can't go on. So this is us changing. We don't want to bring the kind of danger and violence that happened before we went in down on our families or home ever again."

As Eli continued to stare him down, Jax continued, "You can think whatever you want about us, doubt us as much as you want, but in the end we will prove to this town that we're the best choice for them. We got a plan to bring all the jobs the people of Charming are going to need. Legal good paying jobs that will allow them to earn without Hale tearing this place apart for profit. We're setting up a free community center to show our love for the people of Charming. We're doing good things, Sheriff, and we're going to keep moving in a better direction. If you want to stand in our way so be it, or you can do your job and take that info and shut down a dirty cop and his friends that are making money off of torturing women."

Roosevelt considered Clay and Jax before him. He had seen the announcement in the paper about the Samcro Community Center. From the ad all services were free as the center would be completely funded by Samcro. He knew that the free daycare would really help a lot of people in town, and there had in fact been a line all the way down the block and around the building of parents waiting to sign up their children for the free daycare when Gemma had setup an administration stand in front of Lumpy's the day reconstruction started. He'd also heard some rumors about town that the Sons were approaching Oswald about fronting them the money to startup some other business that would replace the mill, but he hadn't heard what.

So he knew the Sons were making big changes. He also knew from his meeting with Potter that they were really and truly leaving guns, and that meant he needed to make a choice. Go after the Sons like Hale wanted him to, or sit back and wait to see how the Sons plans played out. He had made Rita a promise when they moved here. She was tired of worrying about him as he took on one gang or criminal organization after another. So he'd promised her that he'd take this position and handle the Sons, and then they'd settle down here. They both wanted to raise their kids away from the big city, and Charming seemed like a good place to do it.

They had decided to do two more rounds of IVF and then look into adoption if they didn't take. They were both ready to slow down and start a family. So if the Sons were truly going this route he needed to decide whether to do his best to take them down like Hale wanted, or give them a chance to change. In the end he was more interested in seeing if the Sons really and truly could become something more than they were than he was in helping Hale expand his business empire. So he decided he'd wait to see how things played out. If the only illegal activity the Sons engaged in was running pussy he wouldn't waste his time on them. Especially if they could keep Hale's expansion plans at bay. The thing Rita loved most about Charming was it's small town atmosphere, and it was why she was organizing the committee to keep Hale from tearing down the town gardens. She was just as eager as the Sons to block any expansion projects.

With that in mind, Eli said, "Here's the deal, boys, I'm willing to wait to see how this plays out. Your doc told me in six months you'll be out of guns completely, so I'm going to give you six months."

At their incredulous expressions, Eli explained, "I won't have tails on you or go digging into you for six months. You've got that long to fix your problems, and then after that if I get even the slightest hint you are still in the arms trade I'll come down on you with everything I've got."

"And our pussy?" Clay couldn't believe Eli was saying these things to him. He'd seemed like a strictly by the book kind of cop.

"I don't give a damn about your pussy trade as long as it never reaches Charming," Eli replied.

Indicating the manila envelope in his hand, Jax asked, "And that?"

"I'm going to look into it, and if I find any of this shit to be true I'll take Barosky down. Only thing I hate more than a criminal that hurts innocents is a cop that hides behind his badge."

"He's not in your jurisdiction," Clay warned.

Eli grinned as he got back into his SUV, tossing the evidence on the seat beside him before closing his door and putting his sunglasses back on. "You boys wouldn't have come to me if you thought that would be a problem. You know I got reach, and I'll take care of Barosky if he's as guilty as you say he is."

Starting up his SUV, Eli added, "One more thing."

"Yeah?" Jax couldn't believe this meeting was going so well, so he was ready to do pretty much anything the sheriff asked of them.

"My wife is heading up the fundraiser and committee to save Charming Gardens. It means a lot to her, and she and her committee are short 50k. The end of her drive is next week. I expect her to reach her goal," Eli said, his meaning quite clear.

Grinning Clay and Jax shared a look before Clay promised, "Your wife will meet her goal. You have our word."

"Good. Keep it clean, boys, and we'll get along just fine," Eli said before pulling out of the deserted gas station lot.

When he was gone Clay looked at Jax and asked, "Did that really just happen?"

Grinning, Jax laughed, "Apparently it did. Think we can spare 50k?"

"Yeah, but we might only need to go half. I'm sure Oswald will front the other half. Gemma has spoken to him on the phone a few times, and so has Knoxx. They say he's really interested in buying into the brewery, and with the vote for Hale next month it's time to put him forward again."

"What do you mean?"

"Mayor position is only a two year term, Jax. The election for mayor will be coming up in 8 months. With us making all these changes, bringing the brewery jobs here, and setting up the community center I think it's time to publically sponsor Oswald for Mayor. He lost last time because we fucked up that shit with Stahl and Zoebelle so bad, but now? Over the next eight months we'll be proving to this town we can take care of them. So lets start putting Oswald out there as our candidate. By the time the election comes up Hale won't have a snowball's chance in hell."

Clapping his stepdad on the shoulder, Jax teased, "Who's the genius now? That's a great idea. When is our sit down with Oswald?"

"Wednesday. I'll need you there."

"I'll be there."

As they got back on their bikes, Clay asked, "You coming back to the clubhouse with me?"

"Nope. Going to the hospital to relieve Happy. Want to make sure that little prick doesn't go near Tara again."

"You're going to piss her off, Jax."

Grinning, Jax replied, "I know, but she's crazy hot when she's pissed. I like it."

Clay just grinned as he kick started his bike and followed after Jax, waving at him when they reached the point in the highway where they parted ways. As he headed back to the clubhouse he thought, ' _Wonder if he'll be sporting the black eye next?_ '

…

…

…

A few hours later Jax was sitting in Tara's office when she pushed the door open. He'd collected the boys from the hospital daycare earlier and had spent the last few hours playing on the floor of her office with them. She had her own little play area for them setup in the corner, and he'd been enjoying spending some time with his sons.

"Hey, babe," Jax greeted when Tara came into the office. He kept bouncing Thomas on his knee while Abel abandoned his toy truck to go running towards his mother.

"Mommy!"

Eyes lighting up at her oldest son, Tara quickly swept Abel up in her arms and peppered his face with kisses as she asked, "How was your day, baby?"

"Great! Miss Mandy made me special helper today!"

"I'm so proud of you! And did you make sure to keep an eye on Thomas?"

Nodding his head, Abel promised, "I'm a good big brother!"

Kissing his cheek again, Tara replied, "Yes you are."

Focusing back on Jax, Tara asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Finally got some free time and wanted to spend it with the boys. Haven't had much of a chance to be alone with them since I got out."

"I know, but from what I hear you're accomplishing a lot."

Arching a brow, Jax asked, "What you hear, huh?"

Rolling her eyes Tara replied, "Oh yeah. Your mother is constantly whispering in my ear about all the changes you guys are making."

"And what do you think of our progress?"

"Honestly? I'm pretty impressed so far, but I'm still waiting to see how it all plays out. This is just the beginning and you haven't actually finished anything."

Holding her gaze, Jax asked, "But you see we're moving in a good direction, right?"

"Yes, I can see what you're hoping to accomplish it, but hoping won't make it happen."

"I'm going to make it happen, Tara," Jax promised.

As Abel went back to his toy truck and Thomas continued happily chewing on the toy frog in his hands, Jax asked, "So tell me more about this Matthews guy."

"Jax, don't start."

"Tara, Juice told me he's only been working here for a little over a week, so what is he doing asking you out?"

Glaring at him, Tara demanded, "Did you have Juice dig into him?"

"Yes."

Growing even angrier at the fact Jax didn't seem at all sorry for the fact he was messing around in her life when he had no right to, Tara insisted, "Jax, you need to stop trying to control my life. You don't."

"I'm not trying to control anything, Tara. And there is no your life or my life. There is only our life, and I want to know why this guys is asking out my old lady."

"I'm not your old lady. We're over, Jax, and you need to start accepting it."

"Tara, we're not—"

"Jax, we're not talking about this anymore in front of the kids."

Eyes going to Abel to see that he was watching them both very closely, Jax conceded, "Fine, but we're not done talking about this."

"I am."

Standing to move to her desk, Tara added, "Keep playing with the boys. I have about an hour's worth of paperwork to finish up before I can leave for the weekend."

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Hiding out at the clubhouse obviously."

Not wanting to give Tara the chance to thwart his plans, Jax looked at Abel and asked, "Abel, do you want to go LegoLand tomorrow?"

"Yeah!" Abel's eyes lit up with excitement and he asked, "And can we get icecream too?"

"We sure can. Tomorrow I'll take you, your brother, and your mom out for a whole day of fun." Facing Tara with that arrogant smirk of his, Jax added, "If it's alright with your mom."

Abel bounded around Tara's desk to throw himself into her arms as he begged, "Can we, Mommy? Please! Pretty please!"

Glaring at Jax for putting her in a position where she couldn't refuse, Tara faked a smile for her youngest and replied, "Yes, baby, we can go."

When Abel wrapped his arms around her neck to hug her close Tara hissed at Jax, "That was a dirty trick."

"I play to win, babe," Jax laughed before focusing back on Thomas.

Tara simply rolled her eyes before releasing Abel as she urged, "Go play with Daddy, baby, while I finish working and then we can go back to the clubhouse."

"Can we have hotdogs for dinner, Mommy?"

"We'll see."

As Abel rejoined his father and brother on the floor Tara woke up her computer and got to work. She also reminded herself that she needed to maintain a certain distance with Jax. He'd been there to help her through the loss of the little girl she hadn't been able to save, and she had appreciated his comfort, but Alvarez's attack had snapped her out of the little bubble she'd allowed herself to seek comfort in. It had reminded her of all the reasons that she couldn't allow herself to become tangled up in Jax again. Not only was she certain that he would never be able to remain faithful to her despite his promises to the contrary, but she couldn't get so attached to Samcro that she wasn't ready at a moment's notice to pack up her boys and run like hell if she needed to.

On the floor Jax allowed his eyes to go to Tara. She was completely focused on her work as her delicate fingers flew across the keyboard, and he was able to appreciate her beauty without her scowling at him for a change. Her skin was so fucking creamy and soft, and he ached to touch her. Every part of him ached for her. He wanted to hold her at night, trailing his fingers through her long silky hair as her breath ghosted across his skin while she slept in his arms. He wanted to wake up holding her, he wanted her to be the first thing he saw every morning. He wanted everything with her, and not having it was killing him.

He could plainly see that she was putting distance between them again, and he hated it. He hated that there was this invisible wall keeping them apart, and what he hated most was the fact he'd put that wall there. If he hadn't fucked up and betrayed Tara the way he had she wouldn't be so dead set against having anything to do with him. Still, despite everything standing in the way of them being together Jax was determined to get her back. No matter what it took.

An hour later they were making their way down the hospital corridor towards the exit. Tara had Abel settled on her hip and Jax was holding Thomas's carrier when Dr. Matthews approached them calling out, "Tara! Hang on a second!"

Jax practically growled as he asked, "What the fuck do you want?"

"Mommy says we can't say that word, Daddy," Abel reminded.

Jax gave his son a small smile before agreeing, "I know, Abel, and I'm trying not to use it." Focusing back on doctor dickhead that couldn't take a hint, he added, "You got no business asking my old lady on a date, dick. So back off."

"Jax," Tara hissed, "stop. Right now."

Looking back and forth between the two, Dr. Matthews stated, "I wasn't aware the two of you had gotten back together."

"Yeah, there's a lot you haven't figured out. Stick around Charming a bit longer and you'll figure out how things work around here," Jax warned.

Unwilling to put up with Jax's possessive behavior, Tara denied, "We haven't, Richard. Jax and I are friends and co-parenting our boys, but I still can't go with you this weekend."

"She can't go anywhere with you anytime," Jax growled.

Tara's eyes were alight with her growing anger as she insisted hotly, "Jax, I'm not going to warn you again."

Clearing his throat at the uncomfortable atmosphere, Dr. Matthews interrupted, "Well I was just hoping to ask you if I can assist with your surgery on Tuesday on the Carson boy. Dr. Namid said it's your first solo surgery now that you've finished your residency. I was hoping I could convince you to allow me to assist."

"If Margaret ok's it then it is fine with me. The surgery is scheduled for 10am," Tara answered.

Grinning broadly, Dr. Matthews replied, "Thanks! I haven't decided on my specialty yet but I am very interested in neonatal and pediatric services."

"That's good to hear. They are very rewarding fields of study. I'll see you next week, Richard."

"Bye, Tara," Dr. Matthews said as he watched Jax usher Tara and their kids down the hall, tossing a glare at him over his shoulder. When they disappeared around the corner he headed towards Mrs. Murphy's office. After he knocked and she allowed him in he asked, "Mrs. Murphy, I'm sorry to disturb you but Tara said as long as it is ok with you I can assist her with the Carson boy's surgery next week. I was hoping you would say yes."

Nodding her head, Margaret replied, "That's fine. Pay close attention. You can learn a lot from Dr. Knowles."

"I've heard nothing but great things about her from everyone. From other doctors, to nurses, to patients. She seems to be a favorite."

"She is. Dr. Knowles has great potential and I really hope she moves beyond the limited practice we can offer her here at St. Thomas one day. She really does belong at a top notch hospital in a big city somewhere."

Hesitating a moment, Dr. Matthews asked, "If it's not out of line I was wondering if you know whether or not she is available? I heard she was broken up with the father of her kids, but he—uh—well he kind of makes it seem like they are still together."

Scowling, Margaret insisted, "They are not together, no matter what Mr. Teller says or hopes for. He's not good enough for her, and she finally realized that. Mr. Teller is just taking some time to accept the fact she is done with him."

"So she is available?"

Looking over their newest intern, Margaret asked, "Are you wanting to ask Tara out?"

"I already did and she said she couldn't, but I was planning to ask her again."

"You should be careful, Dr. Matthews."

"She a heartbreaker?" Richard joked.

"No but Jax Teller is certainly a heart stopper."

When the man before her simply stared at her, Margaret explained, "He may never have been convicted of murder, Dr. Matthews, but I assure you that man has killed many, and won't hesitate to do it again. I may not think much of Jax but I do know he loves Tara, and until he comes to terms with the fact she will not get back together with him it would not be wise to rile him. He wouldn't hesitate to kill you, and I assure you he would get away with it just as he has every other time he's killed someone."

Eyes widening, Richard asked, "Are you serious?"

Nodding her head, Margaret replied, "You've only been here for two weeks. You haven't had a chance to really get to know Charming, especially with the majority of the club inside."

"Inside?"

"Prison. Most of Samcro has been in prison for the past 14 months, but they're out now, and they are definitely back in the thick of things. It is why Tara has been on lockdown at the Samcro clubhouse, and why she is shadowed by a member at all times."

Wanting Dr. Matthews to fully understand the situation, Margaret added, "Those men are not to be trifled with. They kill in the blink of an eye, and if Jax thinks you are an obstacle between him and Tara he will kill you, and he will get away with it."

"But she's not with him. She just told me in the hallway they aren't together. With him standing right there."

Arching a brow, Margaret asked, "And how did Jax take that?"

"Honestly? He seemed pretty pissed."

Margaret let out a bitter laugh as she said, "I'm pretty sure he did. Dr. Matthews, Jax Teller is a man used to getting what he wants by any means necessary. You need to remember that."

"You don't think he'll hurt, Tara, do you? I can't stand back and do nothing if he's going to force her into something she doesn't want."

Margaret let out a real laugh this time as she assured, "Tara is probably the only person in the world who doesn't need to be physically afraid of Jackson Teller, Dr. Matthews. He would never raise a hand to her. I have no doubt he won't physically force her into anything she doesn't want to do, but I do have absolute faith that he'll kill anyone that tries to come between them."

Staring hard at Dr. Matthews, Margaret urged, "I just want to warn you. Be very careful about pissing off Jackson Teller. Especially when it comes to Tara. There is no length that man won't go to for her, and that makes him very dangerous."

"I've been to war, Mrs. Murphy. I've seen IEDs blow apart my brothers, been shot at with machine guns, and had suicide bombers drive straight towards me. Some thugs on bikes don't scare me. So all I need to know is if Tara is done with Jax. If she is that's enough for me to keep trying, but if she's still hung up on him then I'll back off. I'm not interested in going after a woman that is just on break for awhile."

Eyes hardening, Margaret replied, "She's done with him. Tara knows that Jax isn't good enough for her. He proved it to her in many ways before he went in."

"Then that's enough for me."

As Dr. Matthews turned to head out of her office, Margaret called, "Watch your back, Richard. You mess with one Son, and you're messing with all the Sons."

Looking at her over his shoulder, Richard said, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The next morning Jax had Abel and Thomas dressed and ready before Tara even finished her shower. He knew today was very important to his plans on putting his family back together, and he knew he needed to start off the day by treading carefully. Tara had been furious with him last night when they left the hospital, and had barely spoken two words to him after they got to the clubhouse. He had wisely kept his head down and done his best not to incur more of her wrath, but the entire time he'd been making plans about their outing today. He fully intended to make the most of it.

When Tara emerged from the back with still damp hair wearing another pair of shorts that showcased her world class legs and ass along with a simple black tank top he greeted, "Morning. Boys and I are ready to go as soon as you finish eating."

Tara ignored Jax as she headed to the clubhouse kitchen to fix herself a plate for breakfast. She was still unbelievably pissed at Jax for his behavior the night before. Not to mention the way he'd backed her into a corner with Abel about today's little outing. Though a small part of her, the small traitorous part of her that still longed for a life with him, was actually looking forward to spending the day together as a family. It was something they'd never really had the chance to do. Especially since Thomas was born.

Gemma watched quietly as Tara ignored Jax completely and began making herself a plate of eggs, bacon, and hash browns. "So you and Jax got big plans for today, huh?"

"More like Jax has big plans. He didn't give me much of a choice."

Having heard from her son the night before how he'd maneuvered Tara into going with him today, Gemma in true fashion did her best to make things easier for her son by suggesting, "Just remember that today isn't about you or Jax. It's about Abel and Thomas. Don't let the shit between you two get in the way of them having a nice day with their parents for the very first time."

"Laying it on a little thick this morning, Gem, aren't you?"

Grinning, Gemma took a sip of her coffee before replying, "Just making sure your head is where it needs to be, Tara."

Rolling her eyes Tara walked away from Gemma to take a seat on the other side of Abel at the table and began eating as her sons were finishing up with their own breakfasts. She watched silently as Jax finished feeding Thomas with the bottle of breast milk she'd pumped the day before while Abel polished off the last of his hash browns. By the time she was finished eating Jax had both boys cleaned up from their breakfast and was loading them in her Denali. She saw two Nomads on bikes sitting behind her SUV and she asked Jax, "They're escorting us?"

"Just want to play it safe, Tara. I have no reason to believe anything is going to happen, but I want to err on the side of caution until our transition out of guns is complete."

Fifteen minutes later they were on their way and Jax decided to try and break the tension in the car by asking, "So is there anything special you would like to do today? Clay gave me the whole day off and I doubt we can spend it all at LegoLand."

"Well now that you mention it I do have quite a bit of shopping to do. Maybe you could take the boys with you to do something for a few hours while I get some b-i-r-t-h-d-a-y shopping done for Abel."

"Can you believe he's going to be three next month?"

Looking back to smile at her oldest who was watching Finding Nemo on the TV headrest, Tara agreed happily, "It is amazing. He's growing so quick. So do you think you can keep them occupied for a few hours while I get his shopping done? I already know everything I want to get him, but I haven't had a chance to pick any of it up."

"Sure. I'll take one of the Nomads with me and the boys and find something to do in the mall while you get his stuff. Mind giving me some pointers on what to pick out?"

"I'll write you up a list."

For the rest of the ride Jax kept the conversation to safe topics, asking things about the boys and so on, wanting to do his best not to piss Tara off. Once they pulled up to LegoLand Jax unloaded the stroller while Tara did a quick change of Thomas's diaper in the back seat. Once both boys were loaded in the stroller Jax told the Nomads to hang back but stay close enough so they could help if something were to go down and with that he led his family inside.

As soon as they passed the doors Abel began squirming in the stroller as he demanded, "Down Mommy! I want down!"

Laughing Jax leaned down to unbuckle his oldest and pick him out of the stroller as he asked, "You want to go play, huh?"

Grinning Abel nodded his head madly as he threw his hands in the air and exclaimed, "Let's go, Daddy!"

Reaching into the diaper bag Tara quickly pulled out Abel's child harness and leash and said, "Put this on him first."

Eyes widening, Jax asked, "You leash him?"

Not appreciating Jax's judgmental expression, Tara replied, "He doesn't leave me a choice. He takes off the first chance he gets and refuses to come back when I call him. It's the only way to keep him safe. Especially as I'm usually alone and have Thomas with me as well."

"I'm not putting a leash on him, Tara. It's wrong. It's basically treating him like a dog."

"Jax, it's not wrong. It's about keeping him safe. Abel is very fast and easily distracted. Not to mention he thinks it's hilarious to make me chase him. He can get away from you very quickly. When we're out in a big public place like this I do use the harness. I don't use it at the hospital or clubhouse because he's around so many people we know who are also keeping an eye on him, but out in a big public place like this? I'm afraid he'll get away from me and someone will snatch him."

Refusing the child harness and tether as he set Abel on his feet, Jax said, "I got it, babe. I can keep up with him."

Arching a brow as she put the harness and tether back in the diaper bag Tara laughed, "We'll see. I give it an hour before he's run you ragged."

When Jax just continued to grin at her Tara pointed behind him and said, "He's getting away."

Looking over his shoulder and seeing Abel tearing ass towards the back of the store where the giant Lego display was located Jax cursed, "Shit! Abel! Get back here!"

When Abel ignored his father and Jax took off running after him Tara smiled down at Thomas who was stuffing his hands in his mouth and said, "Your father is going to be kicking himself for not tethering Abel when he had the chance."

Thomas's only response was to giggle and blow spit bubbles. "Come on, baby, let's catch up to your father and brother."

Further ahead Jax was calling out, "Abel! Wait for me!"

Abel heard his father and giggled as he continued his headlong dash towards the giant Legos. When he reached the first one he immediately began trying to scale it and was none too pleased when his father finally caught up to him and plucked him off the giant yellow Lego. "No Daddy! No!"

Shaking his head and laughing, Jax turned Abel in his arms to face him and cautioned his son, "Abel, we can play on anything you want, but you can't run off like that. Ok, buddy? If you want to see something or play with something just tell me and I'll take you to it, ok? But no more running."

"Ok, Daddy."

From behind them Tara could only shake her head in bemusement at Jax's presumption that he had somehow gotten through to their rambunctious toddler and set him back on the ground. "Sucker," she muttered under her breath.

As expected as soon as Jax set Abel back on his feet the little boy took off again, weaving his way through the crowd of parents and youngsters alike as he headed for the giant Lego T-Rex across the show room.

"Abel! Come back here!" Jax didn't look behind him. He didn't want to see the knowing smirk on Tara's face while he continued to chase after their oldest.

Grinning at the Nomads behind them, Tara laughed, "I'll bet you guys $100 Jax begs me for the harness in an hour."

Ray and Mark, the two Nomads riding escort, smirked at each other before Ray scoffed, "I never take a bet I know I'll lose. Prince Charming should have listened to his old lady."

The next hour passed in pretty much the same way. Abel would take off, Jax would chase after him, Tara would leisurely follow with Thomas and arrive in time to listen to see Jax finally catch their toddler before cautioning that it wasn't safe for him to run away like that again. Then Jax would foolishly put Abel back on his feet, sans harness and tether, only for their oldest to dart off at the earliest opportunity. As expected soon enough Jax returned with an unrepentant Abel tucked under his arm and held out his hand and said, "Where the hell is that leash?"

Laughing Tara teased, "But I thought you didn't like the idea of leashing him? You said it was wrong and was treating him like a dog."

Glaring at his hold lady, Jax growled, "Stop rubbing it in. You could have told me he was an escape artist before now."

"I tried to warn you," Tara laughed as she dug out Abel's harness and tether from the diaper bag and added, "but you wouldn't listen to me."

As he knelt down to put the child harness and tether on a squirming Abel, Jax asked, "How do you keep up with him with Thomas too? Damn, babe, he runs fast!"

"I like to run, Daddy!" Abel giggled as he wiggled as best he could, making sure his father had to work to put the harness on him that spelled the end of his fun.

"No kidding, buddy," Jax laughed before finally getting Abel into the safety harness and keeping firm hold of the tether as he stood and again asked Tara, "Seriously, how do you manage him?"

Smiling down at Abel as she stroked his hair fondly, Tara replied, "I just do. We've got a system down."

When Abel grinned up at her she told Jax, "The trick is to get the harness on him before getting him out of the car. Wards off any escape attempts."

"I'm fast!" Abel giggled up at his parents.

"You sure are, baby," Tara smiled before looking at Jax and adding, "We'll just have to hope Thomas isn't as fond of the mad dash as this one is."

Keeping a firm hold of Abel's tether Jax said, "Ok, let's go, buddy. What do you want to see next?"

"The castle!"

As they headed towards the Lego castle with Abel walking politely in front of them on his safety tether, Jax turned to Tara and asked, "Why isn't he pulling or running now?"

"He's smart. He's trying to lure you into a false sense of security so you'll take the harness off, but don't be fooled. He's a crafty one. You take that harness off now and you'll never catch him."

Grinning down at Abel's sly expression, Tara teased, "Because you think it's even funnier the second time around, don't you baby?"

When Abel just giggled Tara added to Jax, "Though your mother tells me Abel is nothing compared to you. She told me you were definitely the sprinter in the family. Not only that but you were determined to get as dirty as possible every time you got away from her. At least I'm spared that."

Smirking, Jax replied, "I did like raising hell."

"Did? You act like your antics are in the past."

Leaning down to drop a kiss to Tara's cheek before she could stop him Jax whispered in her ear, "Believe me, babe, all my antics are reserved for you now. I've learned to direct my naughty side towards more product endeavors. Like getting you wet for me."

Feeling her stomach tighten as heat bloomed between her legs, Tara leaned away from Jax and gave him her best glare as she said, "That's enough you."

Knowing her glare was all bluster Jax just smiled at her before focusing back on Abel. They had made it to the castle now and while Jax helped Abel climb up the wall Tara lifted Thomas out of his stroller and asked, "Want to climb the castle with Abel, Thomas?"

At his answering giggle Tara took that as a yes and asked the Nomads to keep an eye on the stroller as she went to take Thomas to the top of the Lego Castle with Abel and Jax. She came to stand next to Jax as Abel went down the castle slide before clamoring up the side of the castle to go down the slide again. She was thankful it was a Friday so there weren't that many families here. She'd tried bringing Abel here once before Thomas was born on a Saturday and it had been packed.

After another hour of playing on the castle with his father Abel came to Tara and told her he was hungry. Looking at Jax she said, "How about you feed the boys and I can get that shopping done."

"Sure thing. Ray, go with her."

"You got it ,VP." Once Tara had headed off to a different section of the shopping complex Jax got Abel and Thomas strapped back into the stroller, making sure not to be stupid enough to take Abel's harness off, and headed towards the small outdoor park the shopping complex had. He knew it would take Tara awhile to get all her shopping done for Abel's birthday, so after lunch he was going to take the boys to the small photography studio a few stores down from Legoland and get a picture of the three of them. He didn't like that all of the family photos so far didn't include him. He really wanted one with all four of them in it, but he doubted Tara would be up for it. Even if she was playing nice with him today, and not taking her anger out on him about his actions with Doctor Jackass the night before.

While Jax headed off with the boys Tara made her way further down the shopping complex to the toy store. She had her list of things she wanted to pick up for Abel for his birthday. It didn't take her long to fill up a cart with all the items she had picked for him and make her way through the checkout. She wanted to get this first load of stuff in the car before she went to get the new clothes and shoes she had picked out for Abel's birthday as well. It was only when Ray was helping her load everything into the car that an issue arose.

"Tara Knowles?"

Turning to face the older balding man as Ray's hand reflexively went for his gun, Tara replied, "Yes? Do I know you?"

Sticking his hand out as a grim smirk graced his features the man introduced, "I'm Charles Barosky."

Eyeing the man warily, Tara refused to shake his hand and instead pressed, "And I'm supposed to know that name?"

When Tara refused to shake his hand Charles let it fall back to his side as he chuckled, "I heard you were a ballsy one."

His words and tone had Tara on high alert and she was comforted by Ray moving to stand right beside her, his hand clearly atop the piece he had in his cut as she snapped, "Look, I don't know you, and I don't know why you're pushing up on me, but I want you to leave."

Charles, unconcerned by the armed nomad at Tara's side, said, "You just give your old man a message from me."

Realizing this was club business, whatever it was, and growing worried, Tara asked, "And what message is that?"

"Family is a weakness I don't have," Charles stated simply, but with a definite gleam in his eye that made Tara shiver. She didn't know this man, but something about him made her very wary. She got the feeling he was a man that enjoyed hurting others, and she was immensely grateful Jax had insisted on Ray accompanying her.

Ray moved to stand directly in front of Tara as he pulled his gun and barked, "Back the fuck off, bitch, or I'm going to fill your ass full of holes!"

Charles just laughed and gave Tara a little wave as he strolled away. Ray stayed in front of Tara with his gun drawn until Barosky was out of sight before he turned to face her and ordered, "Shopping trip. We're getting Jax. Now."

Tara quickly stowed the last of her bags into the back of her Denali while Ray kept a lookout for any more trouble as he pulled his prepay out and dialed Jax. His conversation was quick and the Samcro VP made it clear he was to get Tara into the car and stay there until he brought the boys back. Ray quickly relayed this information to Tara before assuring her that Jax was on the way back with the boys now.

A few moments later a furious and deadly looking Jax pushing the boys stroller could be seen making his way very quickly through the parking lot. As soon as Tara saw him she jumped from the car and hurried to his side as she asked, "Who is he, Jax? Why did he come to me."

Cupping Tara's face, his fury making his hands shake, Jax replied, "He's a dead man, that's who he is, babe. No one threatens you."

Tara could see in Jax's eyes that he meant every word, and she asked again, "Jax, I want to know what is going on."

"I'll tell you after I meet with the others. We're going back to the clubhouse. Now. Barosky wouldn't have come at you like this if he didn't have something planned. We need to get you and the boys back on lockdown."

"Jax, I need—"

"Tara," Jax barked, far too concerned with her and the boy's safety at this point, "don't question me on this. I told you'd I'd explain everything and I will, but right now I want you to get the boys strapped in the car and ready to go. We're leaving."

If Tara wasn't even more concerned with the fact Jax seemed to be scanning the area for immediate danger while he pulled out his prepay to call Clay she wouldn't have been furious with him for ordering her around like he just had. As it was she hurried to do as he said and quickly got the boys into the car while listening to Jax's conversation.

"Clay, get everyone to the clubhouse. Now….Yeah there's a problem. The problem is that Barosky just approached Tara…No, she and the boys are fine, but that sick fuck wouldn't have come at her like this if he didn't have a plan. We need to hold Church…Yeah, I know. Put a call into Leroy. He should still have a detail on Barosky's crew. See if they can shed some light on what the fuck might be going on. I'm going to call Roosevelt and see if he's got any information…Yeah, we're headed back to the clubhouse now…Shit, I didn't think of that. We'll wait here for you to send some reinforcements."

When Jax finished his conversation he looked at Ray and Mark and said, "Clay is worried Barosky might try to hit us in transit. He's sending some guys to back us up. We'll wait here until he gets here. You guys stay alert."

"Sure thing, VP," Mark said while Ray kept his eyes trained on the parking lot around them.

Jax got into the driver's seat of Tara's Denali and saw her worried expression as he hurried to assure, "It's ok. Clay is sending some back up to make sure Barosky doesn't try anything on our way home. After I get you and the boys at the clubhouse we'll head out to handle this."

Looking back to make sure that Thomas was still asleep and Abel was still engrossed in the movie he was watching on the back of her headrest, Tara asked softly, "Who was he, Jax? Why did he come at me?"

Eyes narrowing in anger at the thought Barosky had come anywhere near his woman, Jax replied, "He's a dirty cop we're pushing out as we go into our new business. He's-," hesitating as he tried to think of how to explain Barosky to Tara, Jax finally decided on full disclosure and finished, "He's a bad man, babe, and if you ever see him again you take the shot. He doesn't play by outlaw rules. He's like Zoebelle."

Gasping, fully understanding what that statement meant, Tara whispered, "Oh fuck! And he's coming after me?!"

Reaching out to take hold of Tara's hand, pleased when she grasped his just as tightly, Jax hurried, "No, babe, he's coming after me, and he's a fucking idiot if he thinks I'll let him anywhere near you. He just made the last mistake of his sorry fucking life by coming at you. I promise, you're safe."

Tara didn't know what to say, so she said nothing and simply continued holding Jax's hand as they sat in the car waiting for backup to arrive and escort them back to the clubhouse. They heard the roar of the engines first. The ground literally shook as Clay, Bobby, Opie, Chibs, Juice, Miles, Happy, several Nomads, and Marcus with about 15 Mayans pulled up behind the Denali. In minutes they were on the road headed back to the clubhouse with half the bikes in front of Tara's Denali and half behind. The entire ride Tara remained silent, taking comfort from Jax's hand holding her own.

As they pulled into the clubhouse Tara was barely out of the car before Gemma had her in a tight hug as she demanded, "What the fuck happened? Clay said someone came after you?"

Tara quickly returned Gemma's embrace before she said, "Let's get the boys inside first. Then I'll tell you everything."

As she grabbed Abel while Gemma got Thomas Tara couldn't help but notice that every patched member of the club was heavily armed and stationed throughout the clubhouse and lot. There were guys on top of the clubhouse keeping an eye on the perimeter with automatic rifles, and a large presence of Nomads at the front gates. Piney had definitely beefed up security while they were gone.

It didn't take long for Tara to get the boys settled in the back with Lyla to keep an eye on them before Jax pulled her into Church. The rest of the Sons were seated around the table with Marcus and the Mayans he had with him leaning against the walls. Everyone was looking at her as Clay said, "Tara, darlin', tell us what happened."

Crossing her arms over her chest and looking at Jax as he took his seat at Clay's left and gave her a reassuring nod, Tara exlained, "Jax took the boys for a bit so I could do Abel's birthday shopping. When Ray was helping me load all the presents in the car this Charles guy came out of nowhere."

"Tell them what he said," Jax growled, still burning with anger."

"He said to tell Jax that family is a weakness he doesn't have," Tara divulged, watching as Jax's fists clenched atop of the table while Clay sat back with a definite scowl.

"Bitch needs to be handled," Tig hissed, with several other members quickly agreeing. "We don't tolerate threats to our families.

Clay raised his hands for silence and said, "Tara, thanks. You can step out now. We need to discuss this."

Tara wanted to hear what was going to be said, but she knew Church was no place for women. She'd have to get Jax to tell her everything later. When she was gone Clay asked, "Piney, where are we at on those out of the compound now?"

"I got calls into everyone. Everyone should be back within the next hour. I tripled the guard and called the other clubhouses and let them know we might need reinforcements. We're good here."

Jax, wanting to go after Barosky now, said, "I say we go after this prick and finish him off for good."

"Agreed," Chibs offered from across the table.

Shaking his head, Clay said, "Jax, he had to of been tailing you guys and waiting for a chance to approach Tara without you there. That means he's up to something. We're not going to make the same mistake with Barosky that we made with Zoebelle. That's a lesson I learned from you. If he's planning something we sure as hell aren't going to go walking into his trap. Tara and the boys are safe here. Now we need to focus on finding out what Barosky is up to."

Opie, knowing the rage Jax was feeling, attempted to talk him down, and said, "Listen to him, brother, because if you go off half cocked now you'll end up dead or in jail, and that won't help Tara and the boys at all."

Marcus, drawing everyone's attention, said, "I'm wondering what gives this cop the balls to come at you guys like this? Word is all over the street about our alliance and the alliance we all have going with the Niners. Barosky isn't an idiot, so he wouldn't have threatened Tara without some major backing."

"Exactly," Clay agreed, "and that means he knows something we don't. So it's time to dig in boys, because no one threatens our family. No one."

Looking at Marcus, Jax asked, "Can you put some feelers out? There are people that will talk to you that won't talk to us."

Nodding his head, Marcus assured, "I already put the word out. My guys are looking into it. We'll back you. I got 40 guys from other charters coming in ready to help with the takeover if you need them. It will take them about a day to get here. You just let me know when you need them."

Clay looked around the table and said, "Alright guys, from here on out no one rides solo. Teams of two or more only. No women or children leave the compound until further notice, and Piney, if everyone is back here within the hour you tell me. We'll send out guys to pick them up if necessary. Juice, get on your laptop and see what you can find on Barosky and his current associations and movements. Opie, you and Chibs go with Jax to visit Roosevelt. See if he'll give anything up. Marcus, get with your guys and see what you can dig up. I'm going to reach out to Leroy and see if he's heard anything. We'll meet back here at 8 for Church and decide what to do from there."

As everyone filed out, Jax grabbed Clay's arm and said, "No matter what happens Barosky is mine. He came after Tara. He scared her, and I'm going to kill him for it."

Nodding his head, Clay replied, "Understood."


End file.
